


Stay With Me

by TheOtherCourse (kanevixen)



Series: Stay With Me [1]
Category: British Actor RPF, Real Person Fiction, Tom Hiddleston - Fandom, Tom Hiddleston RPF
Genre: Co-workers, Drama, Drama & Romance, Dramedy, Emotional Roller Coaster, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Love Triangles, Romance, Romantic Friendship, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Those secrets have legs for miles and an attitude to match, Tom keeps secrets, Tom seduces his female assistant, what happens when a publicist gets involved with her client
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-18
Updated: 2015-03-10
Packaged: 2018-03-08 02:32:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 62,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3191987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kanevixen/pseuds/TheOtherCourse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tom Hiddleston falls in love with his personal assistant, Katherine Temple, after Luke is re-assigned. Can they get beyond media scrutiny, her past, his ex-fiancee and social stigma to find true love?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Tom cursed under his breath, shuffling his script around the glass top coffee table. His words echoed and bounced around his head over and over again. With every repeat, he regretted them infinitely more. As the proverbial ‘they’ say, with every mistake comes a lesson. He’d learned that his brain and his heart are not always in sync.

He’d known her feelings for him; he wasn’t blind to them. Katherine hadn’t thrown herself at him, nor had she’d been quiet about her attraction. The affection was there, like a kitten in the room instead of a pink elephant. Her feelings weren’t unwanted or unnoticeable; she just never made it uncomfortable for him. He could ignore her crush or he could encourage it.

Kat had been his assistant for the past six months, covering two projects. She was more than efficient, extremely thorough and incredibly organized. The stress of keeping her life and his on schedule never got to her. However, admiring her work ethic and seeing her as a woman were two very different emotions.

A week ago, he told her that he could never care for her, never reciprocate her feelings. He’s not sure what had inspired him to make such a proclamation, but he had. Katherine, of course, had been disappointed but accepted it. They both stated that it wouldn’t interfere with their professional relationship, and agreed that it wouldn’t be awkward or change their dynamic.

And for the most part, she’d upheld her part. She’d even become colder, more professional, less familiar. Her change in attitude had been subtle, only a slight alteration of her demeanor. Their other coworkers couldn’t tell the difference, but Tom could. The distance was there and unmistakable, and all at once he missed her.

He wasn’t sure which cruel twist of fate had made him view her differently, but his resolve in keeping her at arm’s length had dissolved. Her smile seemed a little brighter. Her big brown eyes were a little more beautiful. Her curves were a little more attractive. Her natural unassuming beauty was a little more impossible to ignore. Her sense of humor was a little more spot on. The Kat now was not the same Kat he had rejected; she was something more.

After filming today from 5 in the morning until 6 at night, the cast and crew had let out for the day. Marvel had allowed a very generous per diem allowable per night at the hotel. Kat and Tom’s shared suite had two bedrooms with separate bathrooms on either side of the common areas. Kat had retired to her room, skipping dinner to take a hot bath instead.

Despite the large area, Tom could hear the water filling the tub. Kat had left her bedroom door a jar just in case Tom needed her before going to sleep, but had closed the inner bathroom door. He was sprawled on the couch in the living room, reviewing his pages for tomorrow’s shoot, but found he couldn’t concentrate on his lines, knowing she was undressing in the next room. Since they’d been rooming together for the better portion of six months, however, the thought of her naked had never driven him to distraction before.

He set his papers aside, thinking it was useless to review with a naked woman in the suite. What was this sudden fascination for someone he’d known for six months and had turned down? Why was he jealous when she harmlessly flirted with the men on set? Why couldn’t he stop thinking of her?

Kat’s phone chirped from the kitchen counter where she’d left it beside her bag. Tom hauled himself to his feet, just to check that it wasn’t a phone call. The screen was still lit from the incoming notification when he found it. Displayed was a text from a smiling man in sunglasses named Steve: Let me know when u r back in…

The screen faded, and Tom was rooted in place. Why did feel betrayed? Was Kat moving on or involved with someone else already? He was ashamed to admit that he knew very little about her personal life. Due to the nature of his job, most of their conversations had been about him.

Inexplicably, he was angry and upset that she was moving on, or he perceived she was. Her universe didn’t revolve around him anymore. She didn’t need him as much as he needed her. That left a bitter taste in his mouth, because he had had his chance with her. Tom still couldn’t explain what had possessed him to tell her that nothing could ever happen between them. Now, it was all he could think about.

Cursing again, he slammed his fist onto the counter top.  Kat was his. He needed her, he knew that now. And not just professionally, this intense sense of possessiveness went deeper than that. Tom had to convince her that he had rejected her too soon. He wanted a chance to win back her affection, if she’d already been swayed from him and prove that he could be the man she thought he was.

Kat was too important, and she should know right away that he wanted her affection. She needed to know before she came looking for her phone and he lost her to Steve.

Yes, he was irrational and creating all sort of drama in his head, but there was a possibility that an ounce of it was true. The reality was he had made a mistake and hurt someone, and he needed to make that right. Kat had been denied by him unnecessarily and more than anything he wanted her to know that he hadn’t meant it after all.

Determined, Tom stalked to her room and to the bathroom door within. He knocked softly twice and then entered before she had responded. Kat was fully emerged in a steamy bubble bath, the suds obstructing his view of her body. The jets were quieted so she was just enjoying the heat, letting the warmth ease the stress in her muscles. Washing wasn’t a necessity as she’d had a shower that very morning; the bath was just her unwind and relaxation.

After barging in, Tom felt like a tit. The grand gesture scheme of sweeping her off her feet seemed impossibly stupid, instead he felt intrusive and impetuous. The female in the tub watched his eyes, trying to gauge his mood. She was ready to absorb whatever catastrophe it was, and make a plan to manage it. With high profile actors, the next complication always seemed the end of the world. In the face of crisis though, Tom had always been calm and collected.

Visiting her during her down time in the tub was not unusual, just rare. She didn’t feel particularly vulnerable in her state of nudity beneath the surface of the water. Tom had seen her in a bikini at any number of the cast parties. The intrusion didn’t bother her in the slightest. However something in the depths of his blue eyes (at the moment) told her that this was more than professional visit.

Their eyes met and held. No words were exchanged. Tom kicked off his slippers and crossed the tiled floor in two strides. Fully clothed in a grey nearly see through t-shirt and black jeans, he began to climb into the water with her. There was plenty of room to accommodate both of them; Kat only had to slide forward to allow him to get in. He eased himself in behind her, his legs cradling her on either side.

Nervous energy coursed through her, causing her heart rate to increase and her breathing to shallow. Tom wrapped his arms around her middle and pulled her back against him, leaning into the curved porcelain. Kat settled against him, resting her arms along his legs. She was tempted to ask his motives for such an intimate display, but scared that it would break the spell. Her fondness for him held her tongue and kept her from asking.

Tom swept her long wet hair to the side with his left hand. Dipping his head, his lips found the curve of her neck between her jawline and shoulder. Hesitantly  he kissed her, smelling the faint scent of roses from the bubble bath that had soaked into her pores. A slight pink blush and freckles peppered her soft skin. He wanted to commit every inch of her to memory as his lips became acquainted with her.

Confident that she wasn’t going to kick him out or hit him, he nipped, licked and kissed her neck and ear. Kat held her breath, not wanting him to stop or awaken him to the gravity of what was happening. Tom could feel her quickening pulse against his lips, and knew he was getting to her. Considering their position, there wasn’t much she could do to reciprocate. He was there to prove his heart to her, so he focused all his attention on her.

Carefully, he slid his hand up to her breast, squeezing gently. Kat sighed audibly, sinking further into his embrace. His fingers caressed her nipples, teasing to a peak. The warm water only increased the stimulation and her pleasure, his lips, teeth and tongue further assaulting her senses. His thumb and forefinger imperceptibly twisted, eliciting a tiny moan. Desire ran through her blood stream like wildfire and pooled between her legs.

Kat lead his other hand to her neglected globe, nearly begging for attention, craving more contact. As his digits worked in harmony increasing her desire, she arched into his touch. She squirmed with want, creating friction between her lower back and his groin. Despite his boxers and jeans, his cock stiffened under the unexpected assault.

Adjusting their position, Tom slid down, lifting Kat into his lap, effectively trapping his erection along the globes of her ass. The water splashed along the sides of the bathtub and over the sides with the sudden movement. A guttural growl sounded from deep within him with her fully seated in on him. Kat could barely stand the powerful ache that had settled between her legs, desperately crying for attention.

Tom sensed her frustration and began sliding one hand along her abdomen down to her folds. He cupped her, enjoying for the moment that she was so aroused by his touch. She whimpered, her hips hitching, seeking release. “Patience, darling,” he whispered before biting down tenderly. He held her steady against him, one hand at the apex of her thighs, the other on her breast, and his mouth at her neck. One foot moved under her leg, urging her legs open and apart.

Hint taken she slid her legs open, her feet resting along the sides. With her open to him, he slid his middle finger between her folds, loving how wet she was from her own arousal. Male pride filled his chest and only emboldened his touch. He ran his finger along her, ghosting over her clitoris. Kat panted and chanted his name, trying to temper the rage of lust she was drowning in.

Tom thrust his middle finger into her vagina, just shy of roughly. She cried out, her voice echoing through the large bathroom. He groaned as her feminine walls clamping around his intrusion, wishing it was more than his finger within her. As he sunk another digit inside her, she rotated her hips for further stimulation. He worked her to a fevered height with each flick of his wrist. She was nearly begging for release before his thumb found her clit. With the added manipulation, Tom gave her a powerfully mind-numbing orgasm. Her jaw slacked, her entire body tensed before going slack. Her muscles pulsed around his fingers, her juices flowing. He helped her ride out her climax, digits lazily pumped in and out of her and his thumb slowly worked her clit.

When Kat twitched from over-stimulation  he slid his hand away from her. She groaned from the absence and collapsed against him. Tom waited patiently for her to regain her breath and her pulse to return to normal. During the interim, he caressed the skin of her abdomen and thighs, anywhere his hands could reach. Her body was beautifully supple; her hips wide, her breasts large, her stomach slightly round. She wasn’t overweight, but she wasn’t super model thin either. He liked her curves.

The suds from the bubble bath had subsided, and the water had cooled. Tom encouraged her to sit up and said, “Let’s get out and get you dried off. Do you think you’re relaxed enough?”

Kat giggled, gingerly willing her limbs to work. She lifted herself to a standing position as Tom followed suit. He held her arm to help her out of the water without slipping on the floor. He wrapped her in an over-sized white bath sheet before grabbing one for himself. Kat had secured the soft terry cloth around her to help him out of his saturated clothes. Slowly she lifted the soft grey cotton up. Many of her fantasies about this man had included this very act and she was going to enjoy every moment.

Tom was tall and lean with well-defined muscles. She dropped the soaked garment to floor with a heavy splash. Like a magnet her hands touched his torso, and explored the muscles and bones she found there. His pale skin displayed only a few freckles randomly from his shoulders to the waist of his trousers. His chest had been shaved bare for his current role. She spent time tweaking and teasing his nipples, returning the favor.

His hand trailed up her arms, his hands cupped her face. She halted her exploration of his chest to meet his gaze. His eyes danced between her lips and her eyes, almost asking permission. In response she stepped closer to him and wrapped her arms around him. Taking his time, he lowered his lips to hers. He wanted to savor this and memorize every minute. His pale thin lips met her red full ones softly. Like a tentative sip of ice water on a hot day, he slowly met her lips over and over. His tongue lapped at her lower lip once, seeking permission. She tangled her fingers through his wavy hair (not quite the natural curls due to the project), pulling him closer, granting access. Their tongues met and tasted each other, caressed intimately.

Time was of no consequence, they took their time. They became acquainted with the touch, taste, smell and sounds of the other. Kat didn’t fully understand his motives yet as he had refused her definitely about a week ago. She didn’t want to stop him to question him about though. She wanted to steel her heart for the moment he realized what was happening and turn around and walk out that door. Naturally, she wasn’t an emotional person, her career had taught her that, but she was sure that if he did, it would destroy her so thoroughly. Whatever attention he spared on her now, she’d enjoy until he came to his senses.

As their mouths continued their sensual dance, she began unbuckling his pants. He was still standing in heavily wet jeans, the fabric clung to his skin. His cock desperately neglected, but still rigidly protruding towards her. She freed him from the denim with a sloppy wet sound as they reached the floor. With courage she didn’t know she possessed, she reached between them to touch his length. He groaned into their kiss as he twitched in her hand. She quickly discarded his boxer briefs to touch him more intimately.

Kat wrapped her hand around his cock, memorizing the size. She somehow sensed that tonight wasn’t about sex, but she had hope that he’d fuck her eventually. She ran her fist along the length of him from hilt to tip. With great effort, he stalled her wrist. Through clenched teeth, he said, “Darling, tonight wasn’t about me. I meant this to be completely about you. I don’t want you feel any pressure that you should reciprocate.”

Figuratively speaking, she wanted to bring this man to his knees. She longed to bring him some kind of physical pleasure. She disengaged her wrist from his hold and subtly reached for the lotion beside her. Staring into his eyes, she said, “I want to.”

With lotion in her palm, she again took him in hand. He groaned again loudly and threw his head back. He said, “Oh, God… this is going to embarrassingly short.” Her hand stroked him again, eliciting another moan. He was already so aroused and on the precipice that the smallest amount of attention would get him off. She set a leisurely pace, but his hips wouldn’t have it. With her other hand, she fondled his balls, wanting to get him there that much quicker.

She watched his face contort in pleasure; he was lost in it. He was very vocal in his excitement, with no end to the grunts and groans and curses. Before long, he twitched and with a long exhale of breath, his orgasm claimed him. His release was ever so exquisite with her there to kiss and nibble at his neck.

After regaining his composure and Kat tenderly washing the the remnants, Tom picked her up and carried her into the bedroom. They’d left their bath sheets on the floor in bathroom. They’d completely dried since exiting the water, save her hair. He carefully put her in the turned down bed and went to tuck her in. She stopped him with her words, “Stay with me.”

He met her eyes and nodded slightly. He closed the bedroom door, too eager to join her to run around turning off all the lights. He then turned off the bathroom light and closed the door behind him before joining her in the bed. As they settled in to go to sleep, he pulled her into his embrace, his nude form enveloping and spooning hers completely. Sleep claimed them a short time later.


	2. Chapter 2

Kat deposited her laptop, purse and phone on the brown oversized sectional in the living room of their shared suite with a heavy sigh. That day had been horrendous and especially trying. Three different directors wanted Tom to review scripts, which meant Kat had to review the material first. A producer wanted the rights to one of the plays that Tom had written, which meant trying to schedule a meeting. The current director Tom was working under kept changing the schedule, which infuriatingly caused conflicts. She still had to get him to a different studio for a screen test for the next project. However since the director had changed the shooting schedule once more, it had thrown off everything she’d solved from the day before.

All the meetings she had scheduled by noon for next week had been undone by three, so she’d accomplished absolutely nothing today. Kat was on edge with the state of her love life as if a huge question mark hung over her head. Rubbing her temples from the tension headache, she swore she was done with the day, just over it.

Tom followed closely behind her and collapsed onto the couch area of the sectional and just observed her. Very rarely had she shown her irritation and frustration. She had always absorbed the stress and worked through it without as much as a complaint. Her guard was down, and she looked vulnerably beautiful though tense.

With exasperation edging into her voice, Kat asked, “What do you want me to arrange for dinner? Would you prefer room service or reservations?”

She didn’t even want to look at him for fear that the tears threatening from the sheer pressure of all she had to do start on their own. She never cracked under the complexity of her career, but partnered with the state of unknown in her relationship with Tom was bringing her to the very edge.  She needed some sort of resolution in her life. Kat was uncomfortable with unbalance, especially when she worked so hard to manage all her priorities so closely.

Why couldn’t she just blurt out all the questions she had for Tom? Why did that scare her so much? What did last night and that morning mean? Had his feelings changed for her since last week when she’d been dumped before the relationship had even begun? How many blows to her ego could she stand before cracking? What new torture was she meant to endure before getting some reprieve?

Kat liked Tom a lot. He was fun and intelligent and so polite. She had never worked for someone so respectful and thoughtful. He never treated her like an employee, more like a friend. Their physical connection, though only awakened the night before, was undeniable. During the day, she’d only been more confused.

That morning, when the alarm had gone off at four, Kat had turned if off without remembering the details. Before her mind caught on completely, male arms pulled her naked body to his, effectively trapping her in a delicious embrace. He nuzzled in her hair, trying to get as close to her as possible. His morning erection nestled between the globes of her bum.  That’s when the memory of the night before flooded her brain, sending a shiver of arousal through her.

Tom had felt it too, and quietly laughed in the back of his throat. He greeted, his voice still laced with sleep, “Good morning, darling.”

She responded nervously, “Hi.”

The couple stayed in that position for a short time, enjoying their time together and trying to wake up. Kat hated to be the one, but she had to break the spell. As casually as she could, she said, “I have to get you to hair and makeup by five.”

Tom groaned in response, holding her just a little tighter. Should she take this response at face value, a man reluctant to start his workday? Could this possibly be about being close with her? Kat would never give herself that much credit.

It had taken all the strength she could muster to peel and extricate herself from the warmth and closeness of Tom’s snuggle. She wanted to cry leaving that bed. This was all she had ever wanted and she had to be the responsible one and end it. There was a possibility, a very real one, that their time together was a one-time exchange. He may never want to touch her or be intimate with her again. When he left her room to get dressed to get to the studio, he’d kissed her deeply, but it felt bitter-sweet to her, like an achingly beautiful goodbye.

The workday hadn’t been any easier. They had switched back to their perspective roles, Kat as assistant and Tom as actor after stepping out of their suite. She had run over his schedule for the day, reminding him of scenes he had to be prepared for. Kat was lost in her laptop and phone for so much of the day while he was shooting.

Tom liked his tea at eleven in the morning, so she brought it to him. He was very particular about the amount of milk and sugar in his tea, so she was really the only one who could make it for him. He liked his tea at a specific time, so he wouldn’t have to interrupt shooting to go to the loo. About the time they broke for lunch was when he had to relieve himself. Not to mention, the logistics of getting in and out of his costume, beyond tiresome.

When she brought him his beverage on set, he winked at her over the cup. This was not unusual, he usually did. That day, after being with one another, felt like so much more. He’d said his thank you as usual, but added the darling once more. And, again, there was weight to that particular pet name suddenly. They had shared a moment without anyone else noticing. Late in the afternoon, Kat escaped her computer to step away before she killed it dead from irritation. For a break, she watched over the shooting. They happened to be between takes, adjusting the lighting and resetting marks when her eyes locked with his. There was another moment there, although brief as it may be, that set butterflies fluttering in her stomach. Tom had felt something akin to lightening.

As she stood waiting for his preference for dinner, her mind pondered what was happening between them. He wasn’t sure how to talk to her. Should he blurt out that he was feeling something more than a work relationship? Would she not be his assistant anymore if they started seeing each other? He was lost in a sea of emotion just as she was. He was beginning to doubt that they had shared those two moments during the day. How could she switch back to professional like a light?

Considering her testy mood, he said, “Whatever is easiest for you, darling.”

Kat turned away from him, cringing as if in pain from the use of the pet name. The pain was emotional and she couldn’t escape it. She gritted her teeth before answering, “I’ll get you the menu and call in a few minutes.” She grabbed the menu, tossed it at him and excused herself to go to the bathroom. She was nearly choked with tears, and she would not allow herself to cry in front of him. She needed a few minutes away from him to rein her emotions in.

Tom caught the cringe, but didn’t know what to make of it. Had her feelings for him swayed? Was she about to turn him down? Maybe she was angry with him. Why couldn’t he talk to her as the adults they were?

Dinner was silently tense with Kat in the kitchen and Tom in the living room. Kat had resumed her scouring calendars and appointments, angrily stabbing at keys, willing inspiration to come. Tom was reviewing his pages for the next day. He needed to get her out of this funk; he didn’t like seeing her this way and she was about to put a hole in her computer. The hour was late, but he had an idea.

Within an hour, there was a knock at the door. Kat, being closer, answered with a huge sigh. She opened the door to a concierge with a bouquet of gorgeous pink roses. The 20 year old announced, “Delivery for room 2350.”

Kat’s first thought was that the fan girls had found Tom. Figuring they’d have to move hotels now, she asked, “Tom Hiddleston?”

The concierge said, “No, ma’am. The delivery is meant for Katherine Temple.”

Shocked speechless, she took the vase of 20 roses from the man. Tom stepped up and handed the man a very generous tip with a genuine thank you. Kat placed the vase on the counter and stared at the gorgeous blooms, loving the fragrance. He closed the door to the suite, locking the door with the concierge on the outside. He went to her wrapping his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder.

He whispered, “Forgive me. You seemed to desperately need something pleasant to happen.”

There were no words; she was truly touched. What was the correct response? For each petal, her troubles seemed insignificant. She didn’t care that she couldn’t make sense of Tom’s schedule and demands. The nature of their relationship didn’t need to be defined. He’d made her smile when she needed it the most.

Kat turned around in his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck. She pulled him in for a passionate kiss, attempting to show her gratitude. Surprised by her fervor, he moaned into her mouth as her tongue slid between his lips. Eagerly, he equaled her hunger for their mingled taste and feel. He didn’t realize how much he missed her until she clung to him lustfully.

Kat clung to the sweetest man she’d ever met. A simple thank you wasn’t going to cover how she felt in his giving her flowers. Displays of sympathy and sensitivity were a weakness for her. A man who could do that won her heart. True, this man already owned her heart, having proven his tender side.

Tom was a good man. She had witness his acts of chivalry. At one red carpet event that Kat had been his plus one, a young female pursuing his autograph had been pushed to the ground in the melee of people and madness. Tom had noticed and had gone to her rescue, helping her to her feet and signing her 8x10 Loki to her personally. Before walking away from her, he gave her a hug and kiss on the cheek.

Another time, they’d gone to an appointment at his manager’s firm. A man working the receptionist desk was distracted and kept getting things wrong. He’d hung up on several clients while trying to transfer the call and had set up quite a few of conflicting appointments. He had looked near tears when he had dropped a number of files on the floor, the contents scattered. Apparently the young man was distracted by the thought that his girl was going to dump him. Tom had pulled him aside, gave him some advice so as not to lose his girlfriend and refocused his nervous energy to his job.

Kat didn’t know how to manage the overflow of emotion at his gesture of roses. Normally she was so good at tempering all challenges that were thrown her way professionally. She couldn’t compartmentalize matters of the heart, but in her job she could.

Facing complications in personal life had spilled over to her career that day. She couldn’t split them as she usually did. She was swimming in a very thick grey area. Tom was her career and her heart all at the same time. When words failed her, she’d kissed him.

This wasn’t the reaction Tom had been anticipating. He’d been hoping that it would tone down her sour mood, so they could talk. His bravado had let him down this morning, and he didn’t know how to address what had happened. He knew this was going to complicate the discussion once they got to it, but he thought rejecting her kiss would be far worse. Rejection had gotten them in the middle of this mess to begin with. Another denial would damage his chance to be with her. He didn’t exactly want to end the kiss, and his desire for her couldn’t let him only talk to her at this point.

Deepening the kiss, he cupped her face finding her skin feathery soft. He shuffled her backwards until her back was against the counter. Grazing her hips with his, Tom made it abundantly clear with his impressive erection that he wanted her. She moaned into his mouth, wrapping a leg around his waist and surrendering to him completely. One of his hands found its way to the small of her back pulling her to him. Seductively she ground her clothed middle against his as much for him as for her own benefit.

Without breaking the melding of their mouths and hauling her into his arms, Kat wrapped her other leg around him. He carried her into her bedroom and placed her on the bed before closing the door and plunging them into darkness. Tom joined her on the bed, blanketing her body with his own. The heat between them was explosive, growing with touches and caresses. He kissed her again, melding mouths and tongues together in a sensual dance. Desire coursed through her body like hot lava. The ache between her legs was exquisite. His raging erection was proof enough that he was in the same state.  

Fumbling to get purchase on clothing, the couple couldn’t get skin to skin contact soon enough. His hands snaked down her sides, seeking the hem of her t-shirt. She slid her hands to his ass and squeezed, thrusting her hips up into his as she pulled him closer. Her hands then found their way up under his shirt to touch the skin of his back. He found the hem of her shirt and worked the soft cotton up her body. He stopped kissing her only long enough to whip the material from her and discard it on the floor. His lips contacted the sweet soft spot between her lace covered breasts.

Her heartbeat raced against her ribcage and his lips. Her breathing was shallow and labored in an attempt to rein in her hormones. He grazed his teeth on the soft flesh of the slope of her breast, free of lace. His hands cupped the globes of flesh, massaging softly. Through the material, her nipples hardened under the attention. Carefully pulling the cups of her bra down, he exposed her chest. His mouth and hands worshipped her nipples and breasts with teeth, tongue, lips, fingers and palms.

Tom reached between their bodies to cup her through her yoga pants. He rubbed a finger along the apex of her legs. She was so wet in preparation, the muscles within clenching pleasurably. As Kat voiced her pleasure, Tom kissed her neck. Kat’s hips arched into his touch, seeking more contact. “Oh, God, Tom. I need you.”

He didn’t need to be told twice, he redoubled his attentions on her skin. She buried her fingers in his hair as he took a sensitive nipple between his teeth and pulled gently. Tom angled his hips, so his cock rubbed against her folds. Although still clothed, her hips ground into the intrusion, seeking further stimulation and friction.

He eventually freed her from her bra completely, dropping that on the floor as well. He kissed, licked and nipped at the skin of her abdomen to the waistline of her yoga pants. Hooking his hands at the waist of her pants and panties, he peeled them from her body in one swift motion. He dropped them unceremoniously on the floor and knelt on the floor. He pulled her to the edge of the bed, guided her legs to his shoulders and softly bit the inside of her right thigh. Kat squirmed and whimpered.

Ensuring that he’d gotten her prepared enough, he ran finger along her feminine folds. She was wet and hot, and gorgeously responsive to his touch. He nipped at her hip bone before sucking on the flesh at the fold her abdomen and thigh. Greedily he sucked at her flesh trying to mark her. To distract her from the pain of the mark, he plunged two fingers into her. Kat bucked her hips and cried out. The muscles of her vaginal walls rippled around his fingers, trying to pull him in even deeper. His unoccupied hand palmed his cock through his pants, attempting to ease the pressure. He ran his tongue along her folds before concentrating on her clitoris.

Tom alternated between licking with the flat surface of his tongue and flicking with the tip, applying pressure. Effectively, he frustrated the hell out of her because it was merciless teasing. She pulled and held his hair, trying to keep his face between her legs. She was close to fucking his face to try to climax, her back arching with the effort of it. He eased the button and zipper of his pants open, freeing his erection. His hand lazily stroked from hilt to tip. She whined desperately reaching the inevitable that remained just out of her grasp. His fingers continued to thrust in and out of her, adding to her pleasure.

“Tom, oh God…  please…” He drove her to the brink of madness; she needed release. Tom gently bit down on her clit, and then went back to sucking and flicking. Her back arched as her breath hitched in her throat. Suddenly she moaned loudly, collapsing into the mattress. Light flashed behind her closed lids, as she came violently. Fluid coated his fingers as he withdrew his hand from her. Relief washed over her in cascading through her. All tension drained from her, her vaginal walls clenching and releasing in the aftermath.

Tom joined her on the bed, lying on his back. He pumped his fist over his cock furiously. Feeling her orgasm on his tongue and fingers had driven him mad with sexual need. He couldn’t wait any more for release. Kat was still recovering and couldn’t move yet, her brain numb from the endorphins. She listened to his groans and grunts with much appreciation. Tightening his grip, he brought himself to completion with very little finesse. He came all over his hand and stomach, his breathing uneven and labored.

Kat felt so relaxed that she was shaky, nearly boneless. All she could manage was crawling under the sheets. Tom eventually got up, went into the bathroom to clean up and remove his clothes, before returning to her and joining her in the sheets. He pulled her into his arms to hold her. She rested her head on his chest, right over his heart. Before drifting off to sleep, Tom guided her chin up to his, kissing her sweetly. For the second night in a row, the couple fell asleep wrapped around each other.


	3. Chapter 3

With a heavy and meaningful sigh, Kat caught herself replaying the events of the previous night in her head again. She kept reliving an endless loop of flowers, kisses, caresses, sighs, moans, and delicious finales. Appointments and priorities couldn’t stop the barrage of images and flashes of memory. The power of concentration eluded her completely, and for the first time, she couldn’t find the emotion to care. She normally prided herself on her professionalism and ability to leave her personal dramas behind.

Her life was in a tailspin of Tom’s creation. She was never before so wrapped up in or arrested by her weakness for him. Not knowing where to turn or who to talk to, Kat was locked up in her head with innumerable and unanswerable questions. How could she approach Tom about what was happening between them? Should she approach Tom about what was happening between them? Was he only toying with her heart and her body? Did their actions mean anything?

Kat collapsed on the table with her head on her arms. The more involved she got, the questions became more difficult. Her head was in a jumble, her heart was in a flutter and her body ached for more contact with him. How had she let her entire life become about one man? She was a strong, successful woman brought to an utter stand-still by one gorgeous British actor.

Instead of hitting the replay button in her brain once more, Kat rewound even further to when she became Tom’s assistant. When Luke Windsor left Tom in the middle of the Avengers shoot to work for Emma Watson, Kat had been called in to pick up where he’d left off. She’d gotten the call simply because she was newly available and geographically the closest in New York City in September of 2011. The entire Avengers cast and crew were filming in Central Park when she first met with Tom.

The meeting took place in a typical Manhattan deli over extremely greasy scrambled eggs and warm orange juice. Tom had run in ten minutes late in full Loki hair and makeup. He’d convinced Joss Whedon to let him run around the block just to retrieve Kat after explaining the situation of replacing his assistant, and that he needed twenty minutes.

As time-crunched as he was, he sat down with her with a very informal interview with her, to see how well they would get along. Kat was reviewing the texts on her phone when a very British voice asked, “Katherine Temple?”

Kat scrambled to her feet and apologized profusely for being preoccupied; they shook hands and exchanged their first smile. After a non-descript man brought the poor excuse for food and having Kat pay real money in exchange for it, Tom asked, “Can you tell me a little about yourself?”

“I don’t love formal interviews. Let me say that I’m excellent at being anal retentive, keeping tight schedules, building relationships, and you wouldn’t have to worry about anything.”

“Katherine, if you don’t mind, I’d like to ask you a few informal questions then.” She nodded her consent.

“In five words or less, how do you deal with high volumes of emails?” he requested.

Kat sarcastically answered, “Delete them.” Tom laughed at her joke before she responded seriously, “Prioritize.”

Tom then asked, “Are you familiar with the application, Rainlender? I use it for schedules and travel arrangements, so that I’d prefer you use it as well.”

“Rainlender, love it,” she agreed truthfully.

He nodded, and then asked, “How do you deal with irate directors and outrageously irrational producers?”

She winked at him and answered, “Sexual favors.” In spite of this being an interview for a job, he liked that she wasn’t taking all of it too seriously. That kind of personality was easier to get along with, and a personal assistant would be spending a lot of time with him. He preferred someone a little less stuffy, with more personality and a sense of humor. After three questions, he hired her on the spot and they’d been with each other almost non-stop since.

*  * * * * * *

Numb from confusion and the questions with no answers, Kat entered the suite without a word. They were alone again, and the nervous butterflies in her stomach returned all over again. Tom followed behind her, desperate to reach out to her. He knew he should talk to her; he knew he should admit how wrong he’d been. Somehow his pride stilled his hand and his tongue.

Kat found a comfortable corner on the sectional and curled into a ball. If she made herself small enough, maybe she could actually disappear. She wasn’t sure she could handle the emotional fallout that she was anticipating. Until then, she was trying to minimize the impact on her heart.

The silence between the actor and his assistant wasn’t awkward. Tom was still working out how to approach the nature of their relationship. He couldn’t lose her, but he was also afraid that he couldn’t have her. Physical intimacy only went so far; he longed for more.

His arms wanted to hold her; his lips wished to kiss her senseless. To take his mind off the woman he could and couldn’t have, he sat on the other side of big furniture piece. He had a few scripts to review that had already passed Kat’s initial inspection. She was so in tuned to what he liked and what he was looking for, that she only gave him things he might possibly want to pursue next. Although, he was seriously looking forward to a much-deserved vacation, he had to be sure the next job was on the horizon.

His beautiful assistant at the other end sofa had closed her eyes, and judging by her low, even breathing had fallen asleep. He reviewed half of one script before pushing it aside. His heart wasn’t in it, too preoccupied with his overwhelming feelings for her. As focused as he was on his career and always moving forward, this woman had consumed him in a manner of days after he’d first denied her.

The gorgeous woman was fascinating to watch as she slept. She looked peaceful and carefree. She didn’t realize that the way she carried herself belied the calm nature she’d adopted. Although she appeared at rest, he knew when she was stressed. She was always so busy and involved in every aspect of his life, and she shouldered her responsibility well, but sometimes it showed. All that slipped away while she rested.

Tom stood up to his full height as quietly as possible and padded to his room. Making as little noise as possible to not wake the sleeping woman in the other room, he dressed in flannel black watch pajamas. The plaid always brought him some comfort and reminded him of his dad and home. There were some essentials of home that he brought with him to feel closer to family while on location, his sleepwear was one.

He took a quick shot of Jameson whiskey from the suite bar, letting the alcohol warm him from the inside out.  An excellent form of relaxation for him, one he sought out more often than not. He settled back on the couch by the book he’d been reviewing. He tried to stay distracted from his sleeping assistant, but she was still monopolizing his attention.

The talk that had to take place was haunting his mind. What was the right approach? When was the right time to approach? Every time he considered the angles, he lost his way again. He was lost in her, and he didn’t know how to navigate. This was a ridiculous situation he’d gotten himself into; he was a grown man.

Finding that mental effort still eluded him, the script was put aside again, the second half unread. Somehow even in her slumber, she called to him. No longer able to fight the draw she had on him, Tom went to her. He sat on the edge of the couch by her stomach, careful not to disturb her. His fingers caressed her cheek slightly, not to wake her, just to feel her. Subconsciously, Kat leaned into his touch and almost moaned.

Her skin was so soft, almost flawless. As he threaded his fingers through her hair, she stirred awake. Lost in his intense blue eyes, his gaze undeterminable, Kat whispered his name, almost forming a question. The silky golden brown strands of her hair were wrapped around his fingers, her brown eyes lost in his. The arm that had been propped up under her other cheek reached out and touched his thigh, feeling the strong, tight muscle underneath the soft flannel.

Time slowed, and the imperceptible sounds of the humming refrigerator in the kitchen and the electricity of the lights faded to silence. Two people became a separate universe unto themselves. Within his gaze he willed her to understand all the emotions he felt for her. Slowly, he inched ever closer to her, wanting to be close to her, to lose himself in her. The war between his brain and his heart, with his heart winning, made his movement sluggish. Desire triumphed and he finally lowered his lips to hers, eyelids sliding closed with the first touch.

Lightly, his lips caressed and massaged hers, relearning the feel of each other again. Reacquainted, his palm guided her cheek higher, deepening the meaningful meld. His tongue licked along her lips, seeking entrance. Eagerly she opened and touched her tongue to his. Surprised at the taste of whiskey within, she moaned and pulled him closer. Her hand buried in his thick tresses right above his neck, giving into him completely.

For moments, minutes, or hours, neither could say, only that hands, teeth, tongue and lips were all tangled in a dizzying dance. In those moments, all thought of what they should or should not do was gone. The muddled line of their relationship between professional and personal was inconsequential. The taste, feel, and scent of the other was all that truly mattered.

Tom slowed the passionate kiss and pulled away. Kat’s eyes implored his, questioning his motives. Without a word, he tenderly gathered the woman into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder. He smelled of masculinity and something so uniquely Tom. She snuggled closer to his neck, not wanting to ever leave the safety of his presence. Maybe she could be alright with the murky nature of their relationship. Some of him was better than none of him.

Tom settled her in the middle of the bed in her room. The light from the main room cast a soft, muted glow over her. He admired her body as she laid waiting for him, scared to move. Always waiting for the other shoe to drop, she didn’t want to do anything to upset the delicate balance. They were standing on a precipice, toeing the line between friends and lovers.

He crawled into the bed with her, wrapping his arms possessively around her once more. He resumed kissing her mouth and lips, his hand back on her cheek. She melted against him; she was his to take and do whatever he wanted. Their kisses were unhurried, and she again sensed as she had the previous nights that this wasn’t about sex. That didn’t make sense as men usually get a woman into bed for the sole purpose to get laid. With Tom, although he’d been aroused both nights, he seemed more intent that she got something out of their actions than his own needs.

His words that first night echoed through her memory, “I meant this to be completely about you. I don’t want you feel any pressure that you should reciprocate.” Their second night together, he’d sated her so thoroughly that she couldn’t gather herself back together to return the favor.  Unless his only motive was a long, drawn-out seduction, whatever this was, she was along for the ride, whatever the destination.

Kat unbuttoned his flannel shirt. The soft fabric slid through over the buttons easily, her mouth still tangled with his. She glided the sides open, and though magnets were attached to her palms, she touched his bare skin. They both moaned into their kiss at the additional contact. Almost immediately following, she felt the press of his erection against her belly.

Desire rushed through her veins and pooled at the apex of her thighs, the pressure of arousal ever so delicious with him. Brazen with wet heat from between her legs, she guided Tom to roll onto his back. Their lips never parted from their mating, Kat swung her leg over his waist and slid on to him. She positioned his cock against her vagina, as his hands gripped her hips, practically trapping her in that position.

Her hands explored the plane of his chest, committing every inch to memory. She trailed her lips down to his neck, his hot breath ragged in her ear. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d ever been so proud of her feminine wiles. As he had the night before, she kissed, licked and nipped at the long column of his throat. She gently sucked at his Adam’s apple, careful not to mark him. He had a shirtless scene coming up in the current schedule, and didn’t need the makeup girls having to cover-up a love bite.

His hips thrust up into her in response. The sudden friction rumbled a noise from within her so primal that he nearly came undone. She bit into the curve of his throat and shoulder, forgetting about leaving him unmarked. As if moving of their own accord, her hips ground into his, his hard length perfectly in line with her folds. Despite the layers of clothing separating them, the pressure was euphoric. His hands matched the rhythmic motion of her center against his, fighting the urge to flip her over and thrust against her wildly.

Her hands slid along his down to his hands, their fingers interlocking. She rested her forehead against his, their breath mingling, hot and heavy, warm breath huffing over heated skin. All her concentration focused on the building pressure on her clit. Their thrusting hips steadily increased in pace, both feeling the pleasant effects. The sounds coming from her signaled that she was close to climaxing.

Breathlessly, she whispered, “Oh God, oh God, yes…” And all at once she stalled, her orgasm slammed into her like a freight train. She made some incoherent noises as she collapsed on his chest. Tom disengaged his fingers from hers to rub her back and help her regain her breath. With great affection, he kissed the top of her head softly.

Kat reveled in the effect Tom’s touch and body had on hers, although she knew it was mostly her feelings for him. As her breathing, heartbeat and the clenching of her pelvic muscles within her subsided, her emotions threatened to loosen her throat and tongue to ask after the elephant in the room. Instead she focused on Tom’s persistent erection pressing still against her middle.

She pressed her lips to his chest as her hands snaked up his chest to his nipples. She made her way down the wall of his chest, taking her time nipping, licking and kissing. When she reached the waistband of his pajama pants, Tom stopped her, “Darling, please you don’t have to do this. I can take care of myself.”

She looked up at him, and tried to meet his gaze in the muted light from the other room. There was a deeper meaning there, but she couldn’t read the expression. All became clear that they needed to talk but she had other things on her mind. She didn’t want to lose her window of opportunity, nor her nerve. Remembering that she’d gotten him in this position, she spoke, “Tom, I want to.”

He couldn’t find an argument to dispute that. He caressed her cheek briefly to show that he wasn’t going to deny her again. The double meaning wasn’t lost on him, but it probably sailed by her. She still didn’t understand that he’d had a change of heart. She hooked her hands onto to the waistband of his pants, and slid them off just enough to free his cock from its confine.

To reacquaint herself with his member, she ran her fist along the length of him, earning a very low growl. She licked the tip, tasting his pre-cum. Without hesitating, she took him into the warmth of her mouth. She set an easy pace between her lips and her hand. She wasn’t used to a man of his size, but that didn’t hold her back from trying to take him all in. She bobbed her head along his shaft taking him in further with every downward movement. When she hollowed her cheeks and sucked, his hands slid into her hair to hold her head to him.

All his thoughts scattered. Tom couldn’t concentrate on anything other than her delectable action on him. When she touched his sack, his hips jerked up involuntarily and he moaned loudly. He hissed between clenched teeth, “Darling, I’m going to…” With a strangled cry, he came, shooting streams of salty liquid down her throat. She swallowed all that she could, but he pulled her up as she was licking him clean. He tucked her up against his side, and captured her lips in a crushing, desperate kiss. He tasted himself on her tongue, only increasing the intensity.

Their kiss was quick and searing, before they separated only just to breathe. They stayed still for a long time, enjoying their intimacy and their own little world that belonged solely to them. After long moments of aimless caresses and small kisses anywhere they could reach, Kat rolled over and tried to get up. Tom lazily pulled her back and asked, “Where are you going?”

She giggled shyly and answered, “To get ready for bed.”

He nuzzled her neck. “Would that include getting naked?”

Mimicking his playful and flirty manner, she said, “Quite possibly, Mr. Hiddleston.” She excused herself to the bathroom, undressed completely and washed up. She spent some time examining the mark he had left on her from the night before at the crease at the top of her thigh. Purple in color and oval in shape, reminded her that they still had much to discuss.

When she returned to the bedroom, Tom had undressed as well and was waiting for her in her bed. He sensed her hesitation, and read it in her expression. Borrowing her words from their first night together, he whispered, “Stay with me.”

She wanted so much for his words to mean more than for the evening. He had tried to emphasize every word so that she understood that he was asking for more than that night.  


	4. Chapter 4

“Katherine, you have a new assignment. I need you on a flight back to the states as quickly as possible,” her boss told her via a Skype conference call. “Use the corporate visa to pay for your flight. Fly into LAX within the next 24 hours. When you have the details of your flight, email them to me so I can connect you with your charge.”

Panic threatened to choke her. She couldn’t leave England; she couldn’t leave Tom. Her brain went into overdrive trying to convince her boss that she was needed where she was. There must be someone better suited for this new assignment, someone closer, someone more qualified, someone who didn’t mind moving on. How does one objectively turn down her assignments?

“Matt, is there anyone closer that can take that LA assignment?” Kat asked, trying to keep the hope from edging into her voice.

Matt stopped shuffling papers and looked into the video camera. “We need our best employee on this one. This is a good match for you, Katherine.”

Intensely flattered by her agency’s vote of confidence, she should feel proud of her accomplishment. She’d worked hard for the past six years to become the go-to agent. She went where they told her to go, when to go and how to go. She strived to be the reliable one, the one that celebrities asked for. However, now that she was older, she wanted to settle into an assignment. She wanted to find some stability.

She was not one to question authority or her place in the organization, especially since she’d worked so hard to get there. Choosing her words carefully, she said, “I think I’m needed here. Mr. Hiddleston has a number of appearances in the next few weeks.”

Matt reviewed the calendar in front of him and said, “We have him in London and several other areas nearby. He’s filming right now, isn’t he?”

Kat nodded. “Yes, but there are upcoming appearances that he may need me for specifically…”

Matt shook his head. “If he needs an assistant, he can contact the agency again. We’ll find someone for him. He only extended your contract through January. We haven’t needed to place you anywhere else until now.”

Kat was familiar with the way her agency contracts. They were written for 90 day spans, to protect both the assistant and the client. For the first year, the client had to renew every quarter to keep their assistant. It was an automatic renewal after one year of service. Tom must’ve forgotten to renew when Kat had sent him the reminder, or hadn’t wanted to.

This was the nature of her job. She was excellent at multi-tasking and time-keeping, and general organization. She loved the thrill of deadlines and the fast paced, mind bending puzzles that needed solving. She found that the job kept her brain sharp and engaged.

No amount of options, or problem-solving was going to get her out of being moved from one person to another. She had no choice but to get her ass to Los Angeles by tomorrow. After the conference call, she booked her flight, quickly gathered her belongings from the suite at the hotel and met up with Tom during his lunch break in his trailer.

When she stepped in, he was seated at the table nursing a hot cup of tea. He’d been filming the Battle of Shrewsbury for The Hollow Crown for the past week, and the January weather had been harsh. Dirt, grime and fake injuries marred his gorgeous face. Chapped fingers clutched and encircled the mug of hot liquid as though he couldn’t get enough of its warmth. He was still wearing parts of his armor, and he looked so out of place in the environment of luxury the trailer provided.

His bright, toothy smile greeted her. A smile that usually touched her heart and made her melt, felt acutely painful in the knowledge that she was leaving. She had no idea if their paths would ever meet again, because she still didn’t know what awaited her back in the States. The bleakness of not having him in her life was unfathomable, depressing.

He greeted her with a very British, “Y’alright, darling?”

Far from alright, she was determined to be strong and make it through this goodbye without cracking. This was business, she had to be professional. She still didn’t know if this was a case of he didn’t want her there, he forgot to renew her or the agency really needed her.

Tempering her voice, she said, “Tom, we have to talk.”

He wasn’t prepared for the big emotional talk, especially in between takes. His attention couldn’t be completely on her while on set. She deserved so much more than he could give her in that moment. Before he could say anything, she continued, “I’ve been reassigned. A car is waiting for me, to take me to London. I have a flight back to Los Angeles in 3 hours.”

Tom shook his head in disbelief. He wasn’t expecting that conversation either, neither preferable. Placing his tea aside, he stood up to his full height. “No. I need you here.”

Those five words nearly made her wince. She wanted them to mean so much more than someone losing their employee. Dwarfed by his height and the armor he still wore, Kat felt unsure. She knew what she had to do, but she wasn’t feeling the conviction of the act. She wanted to fly into his arms and stay there, whether he wanted that was another story. 

Heaving a shaky breath, she said, “I’m sorry. It’s all been arranged.” Did she really just apologize for being made to leave? He didn’t renew her contract.

“Kat, I need an assistant.” His mind whirled trying to put as much weight behind his words as he could. He was losing her and he was too proud to say something of any meaning. He didn’t like deadlines, and this almost felt like an ultimatum.

She nodded. “I know. I did try telling the agency.”

Had she? Had she really fought to stay with him? He would never know. All at once the possibility that she had requested a different assignment nearly knocked him over. He could only blame himself. He had foolishly turned her down, made it clear that he didn’t want to be with her, and then fell for her. Who in their right mind would stay in that situation?

Nervously, she turned away so she didn’t have to look him anymore. The air was thick with tension and unasked questions. Both of them had secrets to tell and questions to ask, but they weren’t confident enough to talk about their issues. The silence was deafening and Kat felt the tears behind her eyes.

She finally spoke again, “I have to go.”

As she started to move towards the door, Tom reached out and grabbed her hand. “Katherine…” She didn’t turn around or look at him. She looked down at his hand holding hers. The bolt of sexual tension shot through her system. She couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t answer. She was about to collapse in a heap at his feet, beg him to not let her go. Instead she kept quiet. With no response from her, he slowly let go of her hand. In silence, she walked out of his trailer.

 *  *  *  *

“I’m sorry, Mr. Hiddleston. We weren’t aware that you required an assistant at this time. Your reported schedule was that you were shooting until March,” said the voice on the other end of the line. Mrs. Clarke, as she had introduced herself, was working his last nerve. This was his third call into the Lambert Agency in a span of a month.

Kat had left suddenly in the beginning of February, while he was still filming Henry the IV. His head was swimming from how quickly his life had changed. The woman he cared for had been in his life, and then she wasn’t. She’d been reassigned to another client according to Mrs. Clarke but he couldn’t get a straight answer from anyone as to why. He wanted someone to tell him the reason his assistant had been reassigned.

“Darling, I was only ringing to get my assistant back. Katherine Temple. I want her back,” Tom said. The words tore a hole through him and he couldn’t stand the searing pain of loss those four words caused him. Of course he needed an assistant, but he needed her.

Her smile. Her laugh. Her sense of humor. Her smell. Her personality. All things Katherine. She organized his life, but had stolen his heart, leaving him all the more messed up. He couldn’t stand being without her.

Why had she been reassigned? Did she request the transfer because of their involvement? Why had he let his nerves get the better of him and not discussed their predicament before she had walked out of his life?

Mrs. Clarke’s voice brought him back to the present. “Oh, I apologize, Mr. Hiddleston. She’s with someone else now.” Possibly the worst phrasing the secretary could’ve possibly used. He cursed under his breath as he bit back another imaginary dagger through his heart.

Tom said, “I’m afraid that’s unacceptable. I was not given the proper notice to plan for her being away.”

Mrs. Clarke’s voice dripped with sweetness as she answered, “Mr. Hiddleston, I’m terribly sorry. She’s excellent at what she does, but I am sure that we can provide a suitable replacement for you.”

He ran his hand through his hair in frustration. He might lose his patience if she apologized once more or faked politeness. This negotiation wasn’t going as smoothly as he’d hoped. Masking his exasperation, Tom tried again, “No, I do not want a suitable replacement. As much as I trust your agency as you’ve provided two of the best assistants a man could ask for, I must insist that I have Katherine Temple back in my employ.”

“But Mr. Hiddleston, we can get you another assistant within twenty-four hours.”

He replied quickly, “No, I do not want a replacement. I’m comfortable with Katherine Temple.”

Mrs. Clarke finally said, “Alright. I’ll discuss with the manager. Let me see what we can arrange.”

He thanked her and insisted on the manager to ring him back with a resolution. He’d been tempted to fire them for taking his assistant at a moment’s notice, but if he had done that he’d never get her back.

His mind couldn’t ignore the possibility that she ultimately had requested the change, and this could all be for nothing. If he was honest with himself, he knew that he was mostly angry with himself for not talking to her when he had the opportunity.

Kat had been with him through so much. She’d been at his side for events in the United States, Canada, Spain, Italy and England. He couldn’t imagine bringing anyone else along now. She was a companion, a friend, a timekeeper, an extra pair of hands, and, recently, a lover. How he had even survived the past few weeks without her?

Tom spent a lot of his down time on set to think about Kat and what she meant to him. More than once a day, he considered calling her to see how she was. He wanted to clear the air between them. She meant a lot to him, not just as an assistant, but as a friend and lover.

*  *  *  *

 

Kat blinked back the tears that threatened to cascade down her cheeks once more. She shook her head to clear her blurry vision, and stared into her computer blankly. She found it increasingly more difficult to ignore the ache of knowing she’d been rejected in every way possible. Physically, professionally and emotionally cut from his life as though she hadn’t been there ever before. As if his original denial hadn’t been humiliation enough, she was now dealing with acute and absolute heartbreak.

She’d never made a show for her crush on him, not until he’d come to her. Did he want to make a show of how much he didn’t want her? He had upped the stakes, only to refuse her so thoroughly. She had never intended to have her feelings so hurt, and no matter how much she tried to soften the impact, nothing could’ve prepared her for how desolate and empty she felt on her new assignment.

How could she be expected to be alright? Her energy reserves were completely tapped out. Her second wind long gone, even her fourth and ninth blown. She was exhausted, drained, and she wasn’t sure how to get better.

Her new charge was a teenager with boundless energy. Kat found herself on a mall tour from hell, surrounded by screaming fan girls. All the commotion made her feel far beyond her 28 years. She wasn’t giving this one as much meticulous attention to detail as she usually did, and that fact made her feel even worse. All the actors, singers, entertainers deserved her very best, but she didn’t have it to give anymore. Tom Hiddleston had somehow stolen more than her heart.

Being lost in a pool of self-pity wasn’t getting her anywhere. She had to pull herself together for the sake of her career. If she threw all her concentration into her job, she would soon forget how broken she was. And if she could forget, would she still be broken?

This particular assignment wasn’t one she could be passionate about. The teeny bopper had so little respect for her, so Kat was having trouble finding respect for the child. The parents weren’t around much, and when they were, the child stepped all over them as well. This child star got too big too fast, and thought of everyone as a slave because of their talent. Kat didn’t find this one worth the attention received.

Again, she felt the familiar craving to call or text Tom. Half a year together, regardless of how it ended, was a long time to spend with someone. Their friendship was still very real for her; despite thinking she’d been discarded. Separation anxiety was a new, unwelcome sensation. She was not ready to disregard her bruised pride and tortured ego to contact him. She couldn’t help but wonder about him. She hoped he was well.

 


	5. Chapter 5

Days slid into weeks and weeks became months. Kat had seen the inside of countless malls; she swore there wasn’t one she hadn’t seen yet. She was convinced the number she’d been to at least outnumber the ones she hadn’t by a great margin. The tweener that she was babysitting didn’t know what England was, let along be able to find it on a map. She longed for a conversation that didn’t revolve around video games or pizza, and didn’t include bitching as an adjective. She missed being a grownup.

Her thoughts were constantly back in England and the man she’d left behind while on her road trip conceived by Satan himself through the United States. She missed discussing films and theatre and literature. She yearned for the evenings of white wine and debating the parallels between Charles Dickens and Shakespeare. She wanted to connect with another human being about anything she cared about. Lonely didn’t begin to describe what she was feeling.

Miserable and depressed, Kat didn’t see a light at the end of tunnel of malls. Uncomfortable with asking for another transfer so soon, she still felt she had something to prove to her agency. She only spoke with adults over the phone, and only business calls. The life of an assistant could be lonely, she knew that going in, but this assignment was exceptionally trying. As simple as it may seem, she even missed grocery shopping.

Tom spent most of the month of March reconnecting with friends and family. He’d been so busy with shooting and appearances that he found that he hadn’t talked with some friends in nearly six months. April was going to be a disaster for his personal life with The Avengers opening and all the appearances that went along with that. Filming completed and no press to be done yet on any of his projects, he could finally relax. His lack of an assistant had led to fewer appearances naturally.

With so much free time on his hands, his mind wandered to how poorly he’d handled his relationship with his last assistant. He thought of Kat often, and wanted her back in his life. He’d put in a very stern call into the agency, insisting that he have her back by the time The Avengers press junkets and appearances started. He wouldn’t settle for anyone else, and made it absolutely clear that if he didn’t have Kat he’d make sure every actor in Hollywood knew about the agency’s mismanagement. With Tom in the biggest movie of the year, arguably ever, he could cause some trouble for them. He wasn’t sure he would ever speak ill of them, but the threat was in place.

He was unprepared to face this next chapter of his professional career without her. He needed someone he was familiar and comfortable with on this next step. She’d been there for the War Horse premieres; he needed her support for the next big thing. Being able to recognize and acknowledge those feelings was essential. In many ways, he’d grown since she’d left. He was ready to admit to himself, and to her, if he got the opportunity.

*  *  *  *  *  *

The phone call came that nearly made her cry from sheer happiness. Friday afternoon found her at the Garden State Plaza in Paramus, New Jersey with her teenage popstar, in other words, the seventh circle of hell. The brat was whining about a broken X-box in the back of the tour bus or some such nonsense. Kat was about to break a limb on the child when her phone distracted her.

Matt’s boisterous voice boomed in her ear. “Katherine! How’s Jersey treating you?”

Kristie mumbled something non-committal and nonsensical, as he wasn’t really going to listen to her. He only ever called unless he needed her to do something. She was so angry about her last conversation with him that landed her on a tour bus, living off boxed macaroni and cheese and mall pizza that she didn’t want to actually talk with him.

“Katherine, how far are you from Newark? And how soon can you catch a plane?”

Calculating quickly in her head, she worked it out to be about an hour. “About forty minutes to an hour.”

“Excellent. I’m sending a car to get you now.” He gave the thumbs up to his secretary calling the limousine company. “ I’ve booked you on a flight in two hours. Pack up and be on your way.”

She sighed deeply, trying to imagine where she was headed this time and what kind of nightmare awaited her this time. “Where am I going? What’s the assignment?”

“You’re back on Hiddleston.” She involuntarily reacted at his choice of wording, pushing back all the mental images that invaded her mind in response. She desperately hoped that she was blushing, even though she could feel the heat flame her cheeks. The utterance of his name was enough to distract and derail her. Matt continued, “ I’ve scheduled a meeting with him for tomorrow morning to review all the Avengers promo in the next few weeks. I’ll forward all the info to your email. He’s got press the very next day, so you’ll have no down time.”

Kat asked, “Ok, and the fetus?”

The sound of typing on a computer floated through the open line. “I’ve shuffled some people around. Tiffany will be taking your place there in Jersey. Oh, and be nice to Hiddleston, we need him.”

She stopped herself from questioning the necessity for such a statement. Was she not nice to him before? Was she getting another chance because she had made mistakes the first time around? Was the second chance on a personal or professional level or both? The reality was, if she were honest with herself, that she probably had a lot of unfinished business between them on every level.

Matt ironed out more the details of her flight, and the schedule for the next few days. She was running headfirst into a freight train of events with this Avengers tour. The Marvel tour was scheduled to be in Hollywood, Moscow, London and New York within a two week span.

The black town car whisked her away from the teenybopper and onto her next job at the appointed time. Kat barely had time to throw all her belongings together before moving on. She’d learned the art of packing lightly, and rarely bringing along something that she was afraid she’d lose along the way. Everything she traveled with was always replaceable.

She arrived at London’s Heathrow Airport around 10pm after fitful naps on the eight hour flight from New Jersey. Matt’s secretary had graciously booked her a room at Flemings Mayfair Hotel. She was terribly concerned about seeing Tom again. They hadn’t spoken since she’d left. She had wanted to send him a congratulations text when she heard that he had won the Empire Award for Best Male Newcomer last month, but found many reasons not to. This was going to be awkward to be face to face with him again.

Kat checked in, took a quick shower and dressed in the only clean t-shirt she had. She put in a call to her agency to have evening clothes brought in and someone to wash her clothes for her while she was off with press events the next day. After setting her calendar up on her laptop and tablet, she curled up in the single bed with her favorite copy of Jane Eyre. She needed the distraction to chase the thoughts of Tom from her. Dwelling on their meeting for 10am the next morning wasn’t going to make it any easier.

Curled up in yet another hotel room, Kat always turned to her favorite book. The novel was her form of solace when she was feeling uneasy or unsure of herself. Jane became an inspiration for her so she didn’t feel so alone. The title character’s growth and development made her feel more secure. The passage that always resonated with Kat was:  “I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will…” – Chapter 23.

Of course that was the part of the novel where Jane wants to leave Rochester, falsely believing that he’s about to marry someone else. She found strength in the words of the heroine, identifying with her.

Around 1am, there was a knock at her door. Kat assumed that the agency had either sent her clothing over or sent someone over to pick up the laundry. Placing her book aside, she padded over to the door and opened it without covering her bare legs or checking the peep hole. She wasn’t remotely prepared for the person on the other side, Tom. Swallowing a gasp, she breathed out, “Tom, what are you doing here?”

His very presence filled every inch of the doorway. After two months apart, if she had hoped all she felt for him had diminished, she was mistaken. The attraction was there and grander than ever. She wouldn’t let him see how much he affected her, mind over heart. The nerves had set off the ever present butterflies that never ceased to arrive with the sight of him.

He wasted no time with pleasantries or greetings. “Why did you leave me?”

Taken aback by his bluntness, she stared at him incredulously, immediately taking up the defensive. He couldn’t be serious… “ Isn’t that rich? I left because you made me leave.”

He scoffed. “I wanted you to stay. I asked you to stay. I did all within my power to make you stay.”

“Except when you had me transferred…”

Running a hand through his hair with frustration and a hint of guilt, he said, “I didn’t  not intentionally.”

Rankled by his attitude and the accusatory nature of his tone, Kat fumed with anger. The responsibility for the chain of events did not rest on her shoulders. She hadn’t done anything to warrant the inquisition, and certainly not at the early hours of the morning. “Tom, this has been a really long day. I am not going to stand here and debate or take the blame for you not renewing my contract.”

His icy blue eyes challenged her, searching for the truth. Hadn’t she requested to be moved from his employ? With a sigh, he ordered, “Invite me in, Katherine.”

An ironic, hostile laugh bubbled up from within her. “No, I don’t think so.”

Rubbing a hand over his face, irritation displayed in his every mannerism. “Please let me in. There’s no reason for the entire floor to know about our disagreement.”

Airing their differences was probably the best way to survive the coming weeks. Stormy, apparent displeasure and antagonism wouldn’t make for a productive working environment. Against her better judgment she moved aside to allow him entrance and closed the door behind him.

A cursory glance around the room as he entered told him nearly everything he needed to know. He knew her well enough to know that Jane Eyre was a source of comfort for her when she was feeling not confident, and he suspected that was because of him.  He turned around to face her once more, wanting only to solve their differences. He took a deep breath to center his thoughts and focus on the issues. He said with adopted and calm nature, “Let me say with some certainty that the unfortunate circumstances of your departure were not my doing entirely.”

Disregarding her choice in wardrobe, she crossed her arms over her chest in irritation. The cotton material rode up her thighs and threatened to drive him to distraction by revealing even more skin. Their time apart had only increased his attraction for her; she was a sight for sore eyes. “Tom, you neglected to renew my contract. That’s entirely your responsibility.”

“Judging by your irritation, you seem to be under the impression that I had forgotten intentionally or asked for a different assistant. That was just an oversight on my part. I did not request that the agency take you away.”

Her anger abated slightly with this news, although she wasn’t entirely sure she could trust it. Two months believing that he had discarded her was difficult to let go of, especially considering their complex history. Softly, she asked, “You didn’t ask Matt to reassign me?”

He shook his head, his expression shifted ever so slightly. “Did you?”

“Tom, I would never.  I’m good at my job and all that goes with that…”

He interrupted, “No argument here.”

 She continued, “ I’ve been the agent they’ve gone to in a pinch. I had always wanted to be that person. I’m not one to second guess my employer and the work I’m given.” Nervously, she inhaled before saying, “But I did to stay here with you.”

“You asked to stay with me?”

She met his stare defiantly, attempting to communicate how much she had wanted to admit. She whispered his name, meaning laden and apparent in her delivery. Their last night together flashed through his mind, how intimate they’d been in the days leading up to their separation. All at once, he felt incredibly foolish for believing the worst of her. His behavior was to blame for this whole misunderstanding. The responsibility fell completely on him, starting with his rejection of her.

Because this was on him, Tom carefully chose his words. “Kat, forgive me. I fear that I have questioned motives when there weren’t any. I want to assure you that I did not ask for, I did not demand, need nor want anybody else’s services but yours.” He regretted his choice of wording immediately. He knew he had to further clarify by admitting everything. Looking down at the carpet before meeting her gaze once more, he said, “I was wrong. I didn’t know my own heart three months ago when I told you that we couldn’t happen.”

He closed the distance between them with two long strides. Placing a hand gently on the soft skin of her cheek, his blue eyes locked with her chocolate brown ones. Earnestly, he whispered, “Darling, I didn’t know that I had fallen in love. I am in love with you. I didn’t want anybody else, because you’re the only one I need.”

Kat had stopped breathing in the duration, unable to look away. She was trying to regain some of the balance that she’d lost in his speech. This was more than she anticipated. Stunned silence flooded between them, Kat froze in place. Brain function was beyond her grasp; coherent words were not within her comprehension or reach.

“Darling, do you know why you are here now? I made the thinly veiled threat towards the agency to get you back. Even if you had decided to chuck me off while away, I needed the time to convince you otherwise. Forgive me for all I’ve done or haven’t done; I’m prepared to make it right, if you’ll have me.”

The tears had arrived without her realizing they had. Tom had wiped the wetness from her cheeks with the pads of his thumbs. As he leaned in to capture her lips with his, she stopped him with her hand on his lips. “Tom, I need a moment.”

Confusion marred his features. The anger and the hostility that had been wafting off her earlier had evaporated. He thought the tears were tears of relief or happiness. He wasn’t sure what was going through her head or her heart. He needed her to say something, ease his guilt, and forgive all his wrongs. “Darling, what is it? What’s the matter?”

She concentrated on her breathing, her head light from the overwhelming emotion. Through the tears, she smiled softly, “I’m bewildered and overcome.”

“Please let me in on it. Am I in for endless groveling and trying to win you back? Or have your feelings for me changed so completely?”

Flirtatiously, she confessed, “Oh, Mr. Hiddleston, I believe both to be true.” She wrapped her arms around the back of his neck, smiling up at him. “I assure you that my feelings for you have changed so completely. I love you more than I did two or three months ago. However, I still think you are in for some punishment for not renewing my contract.”

As he lowered his head to hers, he said, “I will endure what I must.” Their eyes slid closed as their lips touched after so long apart. With emotions so raw and so near the surface, the melding was slow and sensuous, appreciating the feel of closeness after all the time apart. The passion grew between them, merging and becoming one. His tongue eased through her parted lips to taste her. She eagerly met his oral caress, desperate to be as close as she possibly could be to him. His slight facial hair chaffed her skin in the most delicious way possible.

After a long while lost in their embrace, Kat eased away from her man to regain her breath. She looked delectably and properly kissed, her lips bright red and swollen from the attention. She also looked utterly shattered from lack of sleep. Even in her exhaustion, she was the most gorgeous creature he’d ever laid eyes on. Softly she confessed, “Tom, I’m sorry. I’m so tired.”

“Think nothing of it, darling. You’ve been on quite a journey today. You should get some rest.”

She took his hands and looked up at him, still trying to get used to the fact that he was there. Emotion threatened to overcome her again, as she said, “Stay with me.”

“Of course, my love.” He stripped off his leather jacket and threw on the single chair in the hotel room. As she cleared off her electronic gadgets from the bed and her book, Tom stripped down to his boxer-briefs. After the light was off and the bed sheets turned down, the couple crawled in together. Arms wrapped around one another and legs entwined, the lovers fell into a restful sleep.

 


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning, Tom dressed and visited the closest Starbucks to get muffins and coffee for breakfast while Kat showered. While she was downing her coffee as if it were a lifeline, Tom showered as well. Kat reviewed his schedule for the day, which included three publication interviews and a two hour photo shoot. Kat mapped the route between appointments and the locations of each so nothing was a surprise. She had to make time to get to Tom’s flat to ensure he had everything packed for their wicked early flight to Hollywood for the Avengers tour.

Because they were in the early stages of their deeper relationship and Tom’s schedule was so full, it was easy to fall back into their old routine of assistant and professional actor. Their walk from Trafalgar Square to the Savoy Hotel for his first interview was a short one filled with conversation about the day.

For the most part, Kat didn’t sit with him at these interviews, because she could be more effective concentrating on other aspects of his life. The only exception was interviews during a meal, like his second of the day over lunch.

The restaurant was lit dimly, and the table reserved for the interview was set in a booth towards the back for privacy. The female reporter who went by the name of Anna sat on one side of the table, while Tom and Kat sat opposite. Kat’s expectation was that she’d be ignored by everyone except the waitress for the hour. Anna was a terribly flirty interviewer charmed by her assignment, but Tom, the gentleman that he was, did nothing to neither encourage nor discourage her.

While they waited for lunch to be served, Anna excused herself to use the facilities, effectively leaving Kat and Tom alone at the table. He turned to her briefly, “I apologize. This must be intolerably dull and repetitive for you, darling.”

Kat smiled and waved him off dismissively. “I’m used to this.”

Tom captured her right hand in mid-wave and landed a soft sweet kiss in the middle of her palm. She wanted to melt into the leather seat of the booth. The sheer gesture, the mere hint of intimacy that existed between them cracked her professional exterior that she worked so hard at keeping in place. He leaned into her, his warm breath ghosting over her skin. Seductively, he whispered, “You have no idea the desire I have to kiss you until you forget your name.” He licked the shell of her ear before grazing his teeth on the sensitive skin of her lobe as he pulled away.

Heat spread throughout her body, a slight blush pinking her cheeks. Her want for him pooled between her legs, her temperature escalating as the familiar ache of desire embraced her. She gasped when Tom’s hand found its way from where it had been resting on her knee and slid up a little further. He stopped midway up her thigh and rested his palm there. She ruefully glanced at him, hopelessly lost in lust and love with this man. He winked at her before Anna rejoined them, bursting their romantic bubble.

Kat didn’t know the terms of their relationship yet; they hadn’t had a chance to discuss exactly what they were. The day hadn’t been conducive to anything intimate in nature, not so much a kiss in the morning. Not so much as a touch or caress or anything deeper than their professional relationship until Anna had left them alone at the table.  

Tom’s photo shoot was next after lunch. While he was busy taking pictures and being sexy as all hell, Kat took a black cab to Tom’s flat with the keys he’d provided. He asked her to make sure he had everything he needed for trip to Hollywood and the week beyond when they flew on to Moscow.

As Kat struggled to make sense of the electronics and gadgets and clothing choices all over the floor, she wondered how this could possibly be considered packing. She and Tom had vastly different ways of approaching the practice. Kat was methodical, ticking off each item as she placed it in a suitcase. Tom needed to see everything visually all at once before putting it in a bag. Seeing that he’d spent the night with her instead of preparing his cases, she had to try to make sense of the stuff all over the floor.

Kat spent an hour organizing and packing his garment bag and suitcase. Before meeting back up with him at the shoot, she collected his silver suit for the Hollywood premiere at the shop. He was ready to board the plane to Hollywood; all she had to worry about was getting herself prepared.

The flight departed at 6am. Tom, being the cautious traveler, had the alarm set for 3am, to get to Heathrow by 4am, and through security by 5am. Kat slept where and when she could, and would’ve slept till right before 5am. She was running on an insane schedule, from New Jersey to England to Los Angeles, and she hated flying.

By sheer luck, the first class seat next to Tom’s was available for Kat to snag on an upgrade. As the roar of the plane’s engine started, and eased away from the gate, Tom’s hand slipped into hers, lacing fingers. Kat looked at their interlocked fingers before meeting her boyfriend’s gaze. He brought their hands to his lips and kissed the back of her hand, another moment of closeness that they hadn’t been able to share until then. Her heart fluttered at the very gesture, touched by his ability to make even hectic travel romantic. He mouthed, “I love you.”

She mirrored his action, amazed at how strongly she meant the words. The ten hour plane ride was uneventful as Kat mostly slept. She’d slumped over onto Tom’s shoulder as he read a book to pass the time. He liked having her there, enjoying listening to her even breathing and being her support. Whenever the reminder that he’d nearly lost her hit him, he’d kiss the top of her head to remind himself that she was there. The constant reinforcement was a new emotion for him, but with his life in organized chaos at the moment, he needed her as a sense of foundation.

The Hollywood premiere of the Avengers was massive, and hugely successful. Tom was intensely proud to be a part of the celebration, and loved having Kat by his side the entire time. She looked so beautiful in a little black dress, so she drew very little attention. She dressed to disappear into the background and not draw attention away from where the focus should be. She wasn’t one to match the Hollywood scene of glitz and glamour, rather just support it as she was a cog in the wheel of show business. They had decided together not to publicly acknowledge their relationship, since it was still so new for them.

A sense of privacy and something so completely theirs made their love that much more special. As much as he wanted to shout how much he loved her at whoever would listen, she was a bit more reserved. He had too many female fans that would not like that he was romantically involved, much of his appeal came from the fact that he appeared single and unattached. In his own way, he did reserve his catchphrase ‘darling’ for Kat now, she noticed while he was signing autographs on the red carpet, choosing sweetie or some other pet name for the fans.

The party after the showing of the movie went into all hours of the evening and morning. The couple was drained from traveling and then the overall excitement of the premiere that they slept in the next day. However, Tom being the excitable man-child he was, bounded out of bed ready to take in the sites of LA.

As they did the touristy thing, Kat received a text from Steve: I see you’re in town. You were on TV, looking pretty. Can I see you? –Steve

Steve had been the man she was seeing before Tom. They’d only been about three dates; it hadn’t been too serious. He had continued texting her to see if she was back for another date, but in six months’ time, they hadn’t been able to meet up. Truth be told, he was a very sweet man, but their timing was never right. He was a musician and traveled just as extensively as she. Kat wasn’t surprised that he was in Hollywood as he kept his home there, and he loved comic book hero movies.

The text came while she and Tom were standing at Griffith’s Observatory, taking in the expanse of the city. After she’d read the text to herself, Tom asked, “Is everything alright, darling? What is it?”

Deciding whether to answer or not, she huffed a small laugh with no humor infused in it. “Someone I used to know.”

Kat stared at the screen for a long moment, struggling with the appropriate response. Steve was a friend more than anything else. Her initial reaction was to ignore the text as if she hadn’t received it at all. She was with Tom now, she owed nothing to a man that she hadn’t seen for six months. However her social life wasn’t over because of her new boyfriend.

Tom deduced from watching her, that this contact was both wanted and unwanted simultaneously. Surrounded by his sisters and their neuroses when it came to men, he knew it was an ex-boyfriend of some sort. He still didn’t know a lot about her past as their focus had always been on him and his career and the endless momentum of moving forward. She never brought her personal life or problems to him and she was always on professionally.

Tom asked, “Is it an ex?”

She looked up at him, wondering how much he was reading from her expression and body language. She wasn’t completely sure she could categorize Steve as an ex, as they’d never been that serious. Having considered that there were some unexplored feelings there, she did put him that group. Steve had been amazingly attentive, and patient, and so sweet. As musician’s go, his emotions were always so raw and on the surface. Their kisses had been languid and mind-numbing and just fantastic.

She took a moment before saying, “Yes and no.” Her relationship with Tom was still so new, she wasn’t sure how much to share with him. She wanted to be honest, of course she did, but there seemed a natural progression of things when it came to emotions. As a relationship develops and as someone gets comfortable, slowly more previous baggage is revealed; it’s a slow process. Two days after admitting her love for Tom felt really soon to reveal that she was ‘technically’ still seeing someone.

She and Steve were in no way exclusive; they couldn’t be considering their lives were going in so many different directions at once. They texted every once and again, with a sporadic phone calls every two months to reconnect. When she fell in love with Tom, she never ended things with Steve because she always figured that Tom would never want her or they could never be together because of their positions.

Tom didn’t press the issue, because Kat clammed up. He didn’t care about the nature of the message, only that she didn’t run off and leave him for the man sending the text. Kat shoved her phone back in her pocket without responding to the text. She gave Tom a weak smile and walked over to the railing to look back over the horizon.

Tom followed, wrapping his arms around her waist, attempting to erase the mood that had settled over her. He buried his nose in her hair to breathe in her smell. He liked the quiet time with her, considering how much excitement that surrounded his life and career at the moment. He whispered, “I like that you are here with me. I almost didn’t get you back.”

Kat placed her hands over his at her waist and interlocked fingers with him. She ignored that he even hinted at their time apart and how alone she’d felt during that time. She leaned into his impressive physique, trying to recapture the closeness they’d had back two months ago. She missed that time with him, being with him in that way had felt so real, so honest. She wanted to go back to that, but be where they were now. It was like for the three steps they’d taken forward, they’d also moved back two steps.

Kat suggested, “Shall we go back to the hotel?”

Tom wondered briefly that maybe the text from her ex had affected her mood than she was letting on. The evening was still so young, and he had been looking forward to an actual date with her. “Darling, won’t you let me take you on a proper date, our first?”

Kat conceded, wanting desperately to connect with him as they once had. Over Caesar salads with grilled chicken, Tom questioned her about where she’d been and what she’d been doing during their separation. He wanted to know everything. He wanted to learn as much about her as possible. He’d fallen in love with her grace under pressure, her wit and her dedication and determination in her professional life. She was a strong, independent woman that wore her heart on her sleeve.

On the walk back to their hotel after dinner, they passed a flower cart on the corner of Hollywood and Vine. Tom, the wooing man he was trying to prove himself to be, bought his love a long stem red rose. Kat was so touched by each gesture he made towards her. When they arrived back at the hotel, the couple shared a drink from the bar and watched the lights of the city out the big picture window. The appreciation of the lights and the energy of a big city were never dimmed.

Setting their tumbler glasses aside, Tom again wrapped his arms around her from behind. She seemed quiet and reflective since that afternoon when she received the text, but he wasn’t going to point it out. He’d rather just drag her out of her somber mood. She turned around in his arms and wrapped her arms around his neck. She desired him so much, to connect like they had before.

Tom ran his hands up and down her sides, memorizing the shape of her again. His hands lingered by the curve of her breasts, thumbs grazing the outside curve of soft flesh below her blouse and bra. Soft and supple, they were absolutely delectable. He looked deep into her eyes, and asked, “Are you alright, darling?”

Kat hesitated briefly before saying, “Kiss me. I need to feel you.” She’d avoided his question, but he didn’t acknowledge it. He claimed her lips in a gentle and sweet kiss. Pulling her into his embrace further, Kat whimpered into his mouth. She didn’t understand his question, they were together. She’d wanted to get back to this all day. He’d been putting it off, and delaying this moment. She hoped that his attitude didn’t have anything to do with the text she’d gotten from Steve. She was trying to recapture the magic of what had brought them together to begin with. She didn’t want her past and history to get in the way of their coming together.

She deepened the kiss, desperately trying to communicate how deeply she felt for him. There was no way she would let Steve come between them. She would never trade what she felt for Tom for anything else. As he sunk his tongue within the depths of her mouth, he tried to chase away all that bothered her. She had seemed to want to be alone; she’d asked three times to get back to the hotel room. He couldn’t explain her overwhelming need to skip the romance, cut out the rare time they had.

Slowly and deliberately, Tom worked the buttons of her white blouse open. His hands wrapped around her middle, her skin like warm silk. He hunched into her as he pulled her ever so much closer. His mouth drank from her, fueling his desire for further contact, further connection. Her fingers fumbled for the hem of his shirt, tucked into the back of his jeans.

Without breaking the kiss, Tom guided her towards the bed. This was finally their time and their time alone. Being as close to her as possible was his only priority. As they settled back on the bed, fully clothed, Tom covered her body with his. She wanted this, the frustration pooled between her legs and made her wet with anticipation. With his erection pressed against her folds, Kat’s doubt returned. Like a tidal wave of emotion, the questions returned. Was he trying to prove something? Was this really about them as a couple or his trying to prove his claim on her? He’d been out of sorts since the text.

Kat couldn’t continue this as much as she wanted to, if the affection didn’t come from true emotion. Jealousy and possession didn’t feel right behind a kiss. All the physical intimacy and passion didn’t mean as much if it was fueled by negativity. She pushed on his chest and tore her mouth from his as the questions swirled in her head.

“Tom, I’m sorry. I can’t…” She trailed off, grasping desperately for the words to say.

The perfect gentleman lifted himself off her. He wasn’t going to press her into anything she didn’t want to do. Despite their having done much more, if she said no, she meant it. Were those tears in her eyes? He asked, “Kat, darling, what’s the matter?”

She rolled onto her side, facing away from him. She was practically curled in a fetus position, with her knees pulled up by her chest. The nagging suspicion that Tom wasn’t in bed with her for the right reason was absolutely crippling. He had to know that she cared for him so completely, that she was devoted to him and him alone.

He gently rubbed her arm, wanting to comfort her and not scare. “I’m sorry, my darling. We don’t have to move so fast.”

She moved back against his body, seeking the ease of his presence. She didn’t cry. She simply asked, “Can you hold me?”

Wrapping his arms and body around her was his only response. He thought that maybe she needed some time to come to terms with them as a couple. It had been so quick that he didn’t blame her for being scared or afraid or embarrassed or whatever the reason was.

Kat didn’t sleep much that night, worried about the state of their relationship.


	7. Chapter 7

Their first true night together didn’t end under the best circumstances. Kat was feeling incredibly guilty about letting her nerves and her troubles get in the way. She was going to have to face her fears and talk with him about what she perceived was going on. She wanted to be in his bed and in his arms and in his heart. She couldn’t let one text message derail a relationship that she never allowed to find its feet and flourish. This thing with Steve was getting in the way, and she was letting it.

After a restless sleep, the next morning edged on the side of tense and shame, on both sides. Tom found his mind winding back all that had happened the previous day, trying to nail down what had gone wrong. He was more concerned about Kat’s clam up than their lack of sex. The physical act would come in time, as soon as she was comfortable and confident in their relationship. He knew that once they had the time to be alone, truly, she would not pull away.

Tom had three days of back to back interviews for the Avengers. These were rapid-fire question and answer sessions with different publications, asking roughly all the same things. Mind-numbingly boring most times for the assistant, like Kat, because she would only be waiting around to get him water or chocolate or a snack when he requested it. Kat passed the time by catching up on emails, despite her iPad giving her some trouble. She mentioned it in passing while in London to Tom, but she’d yet to do anything to fix it. She was blaming the teenybopper for all the new glitches.

After much deliberation and much thought, she finally decided to answer Steve’s text the day after his first request to see her. In the early morning hours, she responded with: In town briefly, back on as Tom’s assistant. Not here long, off to Moscow.

Steve was quick to respond: Do u know when u’ll b back in town again?

Tapping out another text, Kat answered: No, London, NYC, Rome next – not in that order. We should chat.

Was she wise to suggest that? She didn’t feel right, telling Steve that she was seeing someone else via text message. She hated texting as a rule, because it was so impersonal. She exchanged a few more texts back and forth with Steve to set up a time to actually chat later on that afternoon.

Tom noticed out of the corner out of his eye during the course of the interviews that Kat kept using both her iPad and her phone. He knew that her iPad was reserved for anything that had to do with him and his career, but her phone was strictly personal. She ran quickly out of the room, trying to make as little noise as possible when her phone vibrated with a phone call.

The chat was excellent; Kat and Steve caught each other up on what was happening in their lives. Steve had finished recording his last independent CD and toured around the London bar scene to support it. Kat shared all that she’d been through with the mall tour through the US and then how she was transferred back to Tom. When she got around to where she was now, she told him about her relationship with Tom.

Kat was smart enough not to reveal any specifics or details, urging Steve to keep just between them because of the spotlight on Tom at the moment. Steve was, overall, slightly disappointed but pleased that she had found someone, and he wished her well. He conveyed the desire to remain friends, and Kat told him that she would like that.

Tom tried not to notice how long Kat was missing from the room. He inexplicably missed her while she was gone and could feel that she wasn’t there. The phone call she received was taking a lot longer than he anticipated her to be gone. He shifted in his seat uncomfortably, rearranging his leather jacket on his shoulders. Could this be about the message from the day before? He didn’t have the time to worry about Kat as the next interviewer introduced himself.

The interviews had all been out hotel suites designated for just this purpose, with the reporters shuffling from room to room. Tom was coupled up with Robert Downey Jr. that day, for a good majority. He’d briefly seen Chris and Chris, and Scarlet and Jeremy in the other suites. Needing to decompress after a long day and worried about what was happening with his girlfriend, Tom found her standing at a huge picture window overlooking rush hour traffic. She still seemed slightly withdrawn and distant.

He wanted to crawl inside her brain and figure out why they still weren’t connecting as they once had. He, in no way, doubted his love for her as the ambitious, hard-working woman with the beautiful heart that she was. He just wasn’t at all proficient in reading her mind and thoughts –yet. He stood back and watched her. Sometimes she could be so still, but he knew her mind was anything but quiet, always thinking or planning.

The thought of another man in her life bothered him. Like that first night he joined her in the bath tub, the idea of Steve and what he possibly meant to her haunted him. In a very real way, he blamed himself for all he didn’t know about her, because he never bothered to ask. He knew who she was, but not where she came from, what made her who she was.

Tom reached out and touched the small of her back to get her attention, not wanting to startle her. They were still in the company of others, some of the Marvel producers were still milling around and Robert’s voice could be heard booming in the other room. As much as he wanted to shower affection on her in that moment, they weren’t alone. This mutually agreed secret relationship wasn’t working for him, his inclination was more toward the public displays or whenever the fancy struck him, to either say it or show it.

Softly, he asked, “Ready?”

She nodded, gathering their things together distractedly. She had a migraine starting, and she really wanted to have a nap. She was looking pale and rundown, and that tore at him because he imagined that it was her attempt to catch up to his schedule that was making her sick. As they turned into the hallway towards the elevator, Tom suggested apologetically, “Why don’t we call room service for dinner and watch a film?” Silently, she nodded, cursing her luck. She had a built-in date, but couldn’t enjoy it because her head was pounding.

When they entered the suite, Tom made for the room service menu as Kat made a beeline for the Advil in her suitcase. To make her comfortable, he piled pillows and a blanket on the couch in their sitting room in front of the television. He picked a silly romantic comedy from the pay per view, and asked them to hurry their salads.

After dinner, Kat downed three headache pills and curled up beside Tom. She put her head on his strong chest, tucked her feet up underneath her, and closed her eyes. The sound of his slow breathing and his steady heartbeat soothed her. He had an arm around her, allowing her to doze off to regain her wits, the blanket wrapped around her tightly. She’d been asleep about an hour when her phone on the coffee table in front of them sounded with an incoming text. He reached out to silence the gadget, so she wasn’t disturbed in her slumber. The screen displayed the familiar Steve with same picture he saw a couple of months ago and a message that read: Great chatting w/ u today…

His chest tightened as the screen went dark again. The unpleasant thoughts from earlier that day and the day before came rushing back. He wanted to hold his rational thought that Steve could be just a friend to his Katherine. But something told him this was more than that. There had to be something to the fact that Steve was still in her life. Kat herself had told him in their early days together that she didn’t have a lot of time for dating since she was in the same place for that long.

Steve could be a friend or a business associate, of course. The picture of him with the smiling face and the sunglasses looked more candid and more familiar than a business acquaintance. Tom sighed deeply and pulled Kat in closer as she slept on. He was not going to panic over what might or might not be happening with this mysterious other man and Kat. He couldn’t with all the press for the Avengers; he couldn’t afford to be distracted by the state of his relationship.

The next day, Kat’s migraine was still an unwelcome visitor. Headaches resistant to Advil could only mean a precursor to cramps and her period. Tom gave her the day to rest since the pills were doing little to take the edge off the pain in her head. She pulled the curtains closed, turned off all the electronics in the room, including her iPad and phone, and put herself back to bed. There were plenty of producers hanging around the interviews to provide the talent with whatever he might need, so Tom could really spare her for the day.

When he was done for the day, he joined her in bed to keep her company. As he crawled in bed behind her, she feebly apologized, “I’m so sorry, Tom.”

Kissing her cheek, he asked, “What are you sorry for, darling?”

“For not being there for you today as I should have been. For being a weak female and for most of all having cramps from hell.”

He smiled into the skin of her neck and mumbled, “I can handle getting water for myself. I just prefer you to do it, naturally.” Playfully she smacked the hand snaking around to rub her sore lower abdomen. “I like that you are a female. My love for you would have me reconsidering my entire life otherwise. As for the cramps, from what I’ve been told, orgasms can help alleviate the uncomfortable pressure.” The whiskers of his goatee tickled her skin as his warm breath licked her neck. A shiver of repressed sexual desire ran through her.

Kat giggled lightly. “Why should you be rewarded for my monthly visitor?” She shifted gently, unwrapping herself to allow him access to more of her. His large handle gently rubbed circles over her bloated middle, trying to ease her discomfort. He kissed a hot trail from her ear to her shoulder. In her vulnerable state and not at her best, she was the most beautiful woman to him.

Tom joked, “We shouldn’t both be made to suffer. Not to mention, you’re supposed to see to my every need.” Teeth nibbled her pulse point and then her earlobe.

Kat whined, “I’m just not feeling that sexy right now, Tom. Can we postpone the orgasms until… later?”

“Mmhmm. Can I stay with you?”

Kat snuggled back into his arms. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

*  *  *  *  *

Their flight to Moscow was going to take an entire day, with a stop-over in Paris for an evening. Normally, Marvel would fly the entire cast and crew in on a designated jet, but for insurance purposes, having all those stars on one plane was too risky. Marvel footed the bill for travel arrangements for their talent and one extra person. Naturally some of the actors brought more than one person with them, but the bill was on them to do so.

Kat and Tom boarded the plane around midday for their irritatingly long flight from LAX to Paris. Kat got a call just as they were handing their boarding passes over. Seeing that it was a call from the agency, she had to take it before being out of communication for the next ten hours. She waved Tom on and stepped aside to take the call. Sweet Mrs. Clarke was on the other end. “Katherine, love, we had someone trying to reach Mr. Hiddleston.”

Patiently, Kat related, “I can pass on a message. We’re headed to Paris now…”

“Oh, sweetie, I know. This person-they said they knew Tom. Somehow misplaced his cell number and email- hadn’t talked to him since late last year, seemed very interested in setting up a meeting with Tom while you are in London on the 19th.”

Kat glanced at the schedule on her iPad, but couldn’t see an obvious gap. Growling in frustration, she flipped her hair, willing her brain to function. “Tom had to change his mobile number and email when his iPhone was stolen in New York City back in December. I thought I had found everyone.”

Mrs. Clarke offered, “I don’t want you to miss your flight. The person’s name was Darcy, I’ll email the contact information to you. Would you mind running the name by Mr. Hiddleston?”

Uncomfortably shifting Tom’s bag and her purse from one shoulder to the other, Kat sighed. “Yes, I’ll mention it. Thanks, Mrs. Clarke.”

“Safe travels, dear.”

Kat ended the call unceremoniously, turned off all her electronics, and shoved them inside her purse. She made her way down the ramp and onto the plane. Tom was in the restroom when she found their seats. She secured their bags into the overhead bin and then took the seat on the aisle. Tom usually sat by the window, because he preferred it and to minimize his exposure to fangirls. He loved his fans and those that supported him, but he had the tendency to talk incessantly. Sometimes he had research or scripts to read on the plane, and he only had himself to blame when he didn’t get them done. More times than not, he ended up talking the ear off someone nice enough to greet him.

When Tom returned and settled in his seat beside her, he buckled in. He looked at her conspiratorially, and said, “I think I’ll need laundry done when we finally make it back to London.”

“How long were you in there?”

“Very funny, darling, this packing light is not ideal.”

“Is this where we revisit my idea of turning everything inside out, to get a little longer out of it?” Giggling softly, his tongue slipped between his teeth, showing he enjoyed her humor. “I’ll add it to the schedule when we land,” she conceded.

The couple bantered back and forth while the plane taxied the runway and took off headed east. There was something infinitely private about a long flight. At a cruising altitude of around 30,000 feet above land and water, Kat and Tom felt the rest of the world fall away. This was the romantic bubble they’d not been able to live inside since getting together, a reprieve from the all the outside pressures.

As soon as the captain turned off the fasten seat belt sign, Tom asked excitedly, “Where’s my bag, darling?”

“Oh, that… I got tired carrying it back in the terminal, so I gave it away.” Kat pretended to peruse the other travelers, looking for someone. “He might be on this flight actually.”

Tom rolled his eyes. “Remind me why I pay you so much.”

Kat mockingly stuck her tongue out at him. “I put it in the overhead bin. Did you need it?”

“If you don’t mind handing it to me, please…” he trailed off.

With as much as grace as she could muster in the cramped quarters, she dug out his bag and handed his black bag to him. He placed it on the floor in front and proceeded to dig through the contents trying to find something within. Kat sat back down and asked, “What are you up to in there?”

A huge genuine smile was her response. Tom produced a red wrapped gift from the depths of his bag. Apparent glee and excitement was painted all over his face. He handed the present to Kat. “I got you something. I hope you will accept it as a token of my appreciation.”

Kat was genuinely touched, as a gift from him was the last thing she was expecting. She wondered if this was a gift for her as a lover or as an assistant. She thought better of actually voicing the question, instead she thanked him.

Sticking a finger in the crease of the paper, she started opening the gifts. He explained, “You mentioned that your iPad has been misbehaving and not operating properly. I contacted the agency on your behalf, to get them to issue a new one. I had it modified slightly.” The box was indeed an Apple iPad, the newest model, but she didn’t see any modifications to the outside. She pulled the unit from the inside and turned it over.

Marked in black on the silver stainless steel backing was a long passage of words. She unwrapped in from the plastic to read the writing. ‘ _I sometimes have a queer feeling with regard to you – especially when you are near me, as now; it is as if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly and inextricably knotted to a similar string situated in the corresponding quarter of your little frame. And if that boisterous channel, and two hundred miles or so of land come broad between us, I am afraid that cord of communion will be snapt; and then I’ve a nervous notion I should take to bleeding inwardly_.’

This was one of Kat’s favorite passages from Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte. Rochester told the heroine about the tie between them right before expressing his heart completely. The passage was romantic and touching, and matched her situation with Tom. It was personal and individual to Kat because it was her favorite novel and meant something to her.

It was clear that this gift was from Tom to Kat as a lover. She might have questioned the validity of the gift if he had purchased the iPad. Kat was speechless from the gesture. Tom was trying not to bust from the anticipation of her response; he was proud of the thought. The opportunity had presented itself and it had been too perfect to not take advantage.

“Tom,” she attempted. She sighed, the romance of the gesture overcoming her.

Hopefully, he asked, “Do you like it?”

She nodded enthusiastically. “I love it. I can’t express… I love it, and I love you. I’m so touched… I want to… This is so…” She stammered through, her brain unable to form a ‘thank you’ adequate enough to explain her emotions. She held the electronic object to her chest, squeezing closely. She leaned in to her boyfriend, and kissed him sweetly. “Thank you.”

 


	8. Chapter 8

Paris at night was even more beautiful than during the day, at least Tom thought it to be. The entire city appeared to sparkle, like glass in sunlight, scattering prisms of colors haphazardly. The expanse of the French capital spread out like a quilt with the Eiffel Tower as a beacon in the center. Tom could feel the romance of the city infused in the atmosphere, hung in the air, a constant presence. Paris was one of his favorite places in the entire world that he had the good fortune to visit; he regretted not having enough time to vacation with Kat properly.

With his girl on his arm, they disembarked from the plane and made their way to the exit. A cab left them at the hotel they were spending the next eight hours, Hotel Palais de Chaillot, their window overlooked the Eiffel Tower. Due to the late hour and their short layover in Paris, they decided to leave their phones and electronics off. The couple settled into an affectionate bubble within the privacy of being together.

The mood between them was light and unstrained, no outside influences to distract them from their rapport. The calm was nice and restorative, quieting some of the doubts that seemed to plague them. Tom was attentive, charming and tender, everything she hoped he would be as a boyfriend. Kat was relaxed, affectionate and completely enthralled with him, as she once had been.

Taking a shower each to clean off the smell of travel, Kat and Tom readied for another short sleep. They had been able to sleep some on the journey there, so they weren’t overly tired but felt they should rest considering what was ahead of them. Tom had gathered all the pillows on the bed behind him, while Kat showered. He had loaded two of her favorite novels on to her new iPad, Jane Eyre and The Scarlet Pimpernel.

About three weeks after he had hired her, Kat had once asked Tom to repeat the word ‘Damn’ over and over on their flight from Toronto to Spain. Because the way he delivered the line in the movie Thor, it reminded her of a passage from a favorite story. It was the first time Kat remembered feeling comfortable enough with him to joke around. Tom, being the good sport that he was, humored her, enjoying her hilarity. She said in her very American way that he found endearing, “You’re British, right?”

This had become a constant with her in starting a conversation with him. He’d learned that she had great respect and affinity for British literature. She was constantly engaging him in conversations about her favorite novels, like Pride and Prejudice, The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and A Christmas Carol. Her brain was in constant motion, working thing through in her head, but when it came to voicing her thoughts, she was not quite as eloquent.

The two laughed lightly as he answered, “I remain so since last you inquired.”

“Excellent. I’m reading a passage from Baroness Orczy…”

He interrupted, “The Scarlet Pimpernel?”

“The very one… Would you mind reading this bit to me?” She pointed to a passage in her well-read novel. He noticed that she carried a couple of novels with her, as if they deserved more respect than binary code on her tablet. The Scarlet Pimpernel was one that held a special place within her bag wherever she went, and her heart, apparently.

Tom acquiesced to her wish, and her read a bit of chapter thirty-one to her aloud. There were certain parts of the book that spoke to her, and he could tell by the worn pages, that this was one.

He began with, “ _It was the sound of a good, solid, absolutely British ‘Damn!’”_ Kat made him read well into the end of the book, as she heard in his voice the protagonist, Sir Percy Blakeney’s voice mirroring his delivery of the line in Thor.

For their evening in Paris, Tom agreed to read to help her sleep. As he lounged against all the pillows on the bed to prop his torso up, Kat was curled into his left side. Her head was against his heartbeat and her arm curled around his slender waist. He wrapped his left arm around her narrow shoulders, holding her closer.

Her favorite part of the book was chapter sixteen where Percy visits his wife under the guise of the Scarlet Pimpernel to find out that she hadn’t betrayed him as he thought. Because he is so relieved to discover the truth, Percy became the most romantic male character in all of literature to her.  _“He was but a man madly, blindly, passionately in love, and as soon as her light footsteps had died away within the house, he knelt down upon the terrace steps, and in the very madness of his love he kissed one by one the places where her small foot had trodden, and the stone balustrade there, where her tiny hand had rested last.”_

Kat couldn’t concentrate on the content of the language, lost in her lover’s voice and heartbeat. When he finished that chapter, he put the book aside. Neither very tired since their naps were at the wrong times, and their internal clock completely off.

Pulling him closer to her and running her leg against his, Kat asked seductively, “What would you like to do now?”

Tom ran his left hand along the length of her back along her spine. When he reached her ass, he squeezed her soft flesh through her flimsy nightgown. Using the pressure of his pinch as leverage, she slid onto his body, straddling his hips. He smiled up at her, wickedly. “I think I like where this is going.”

She ran her hands slowly up from his waist along his chest to his shoulders. Tom’s hands trapped her hips where they were above his waist, effectively locking her in place. Slowly she lowered her lips to hers, teasing him. Tom tried to capture her, but she pulled away before he could kiss her. Deliberately, she lowered her head again, licking along his lower lip before lightly biting it. She softly kissed him, her hands buried in his hair holding him in place.

Before Kat could tease him any further, he kissed her fully, passionately. The hair of his goatee scraped along her skin sensually, sending shivers of want through her. His tongue sought entrance into her mouth, closeness his only goal. She relinquished some control to him, letting him determine the pace. Their tongues tangled and caressed and tasted each other, excited by the rapport they shared. This was how they connected, in the most basic, honest way. Their dynamic was rooted in secret, unexplored emotions, but they could express all the repressed affections.

Deepening the kiss, Tom moved them slowly so that she was lying on the bed. Her body was completely wrapped around him, her legs around his waist, and her arms around his neck. She just loved the feeling of his body pressing hers into the mattress, his full exquisite weight on top her. Surrounded in his heat and his smell and the feel of him, she felt safe and cared for. She could let go of all the responsibility that she shouldered every day. Being with him was liberating, she was caught up in his exuberance.

Tom loved the feel of her, so wrapped in her essence. He was so humbled by how much she opened up to him, how unguarded, how very much she trusted him. He was so flattered that she allowed herself to be so vulnerable with him, and he hoped he never took advantage or upset that expectation. She was so fascinating in her makeup, what made her who she was. Most of the time she was so put together, but she let go of all that with him. She wasn’t as meticulous or planned, she was more buoyant and radiant when she was with him intimately.

His lips left hers, blazing a hot trail of kisses down to her ear. The warm breath against her ear was dizzying, as he whispered, “I want you so much.” A palm squeezed the swell of her breast before she could even register where that hand had come from. Her back arched off the bed pushing further into his palm, an ethereal moan dislodged from her.

The ache between her legs was undeniable, the desire he created within her was overwhelming. As his hand slid down, it was clear where he was headed. Like a splash of cold water, she stopped him. He pulled back to look into her eyes, questioningly. She cupped his face gently. “You know how much I want this, but I can’t right now.”

Recognition flashed across his handsome face as he remembered her monthly visitor. “Oh, darling, I’m so sorry. In my haste to be with you, I had forgotten.”

Sweetly, she confessed, “I want you, Tom. I really do. And you have no idea how complimentary it is that you want me as much…”

Rolling off of her and pulling her back into his arms, he told her, “I can wait however long you need. I didn’t mean to push this. When it happens, it’ll be fantastic and wonderful, but it doesn’t have to be soon. I want to make sure you are comfortable.”

She kissed him briefly. “I love you.”

He was incredibly floored by the adoration on her beautiful face. How had he been so blessed to earn her heart? He ran his hand gently over her hair before saying, “I love you too, darling.”

*  *  *  *  *

After a four hour flight, the two arrived in Moscow greeted by an army of Marvel people. They were swiftly swept up into the madness of press conferences, television interviews, radio interviews and public appearances. The schedule was intense and planned down to the minute. The fairy-tale cocoon they’d been secluded in for twenty-four hours had quickly evaporated in the real world, in the responsibility of his career. For many of the appearances, Tom didn’t need Kat around but she was always in the background.

She, as the multi-tasking assistant, filled in the down time by recouping the lost twenty-four hours to traveling. She caught up with emails including the spotty information that she’d gotten verbally from Mrs. Clarke. An actress named Darcy Lancaster-Hastings, who claimed to have misplaced his phone number, was attempting to contact Tom for a meeting in London. She hadn’t provided any details about a project, so Kat kicked it back to the agency to supply some kind information to present to Tom.

Kat scheduled a few appearances for Tom to support the Avengers for May, as soon as the premieres were over. He had to keep his name in circulation since he was about to lose momentum by going into production for a Jim Jarmusch film in either June or July.

She also caught up with own life, with missed calls and received texts. Her best friend, Candy, called to yell at her voice mail about being out of touch for too long. Candy didn’t know where in the world she was, only that Kat was back with Tom. Kat hadn’t even gotten the chance to tell her best friend about her new relationship with him.

She received several more texts from Steve, letting her know when he’d be back in London to promote his album, with dates and times. He invited both her and Tom to one of his shows, because it would be ‘cool to have a celebrity at the gig.’ She followed up with a quick response to Steve: ‘Maybe. Stay tuned.’ She sent off a text to Candy: ‘In love and happy. Details soon!’ That was the best way to tell Candy about what developed between her and Tom. So often, she had previously talked to Candy and said she was in love and unhappy, assuming that Tom would never come through.

The Marvel Avengers cast and crew spent just over twenty-fours in Moscow before landing in London for another premiere. Tom was nearly beside himself with frenzied excitement that he could celebrate his accomplishment in his own hometown. He was a bundle of hysteria, the animation of his gestures and the exhilarated sound of his voice, and the rushed speeches all exaggerated in his gaiety.

London was much of the same as Moscow, with the interviews, appearances and press conferences. Tom was a flurry of nerves and elation in the back of the limo on the way to the red carpet event. Kat, dressed in another black dress, accompanied him to the Vue Westfield for the premiere. Even in his distraction, he paused to long enough to thank her for being there with him. He held her hand tightly within his squeezing every once and again to remind her that he loved her, despite that they decided to keep their relationship secret.

The driver dropped the couple, in professional façade, in front of the theatre at the start of the red carpet. Before getting out the car behind the privacy of the dark tinted windows, Tom kissed her hand lightly and then her lips. She wiped her sandalwood beige lipstick that had transferred to his lips before he knocked on the window to alert the driver to open the door for him. Kat exited on the opposite side of the car, outside the shuttering flashes, capturing Tom’s arrival. He smiled, waved, posed for pictures, and signed autographs as he made his way down the red carpet.

Kat followed behind keeping a safe convenient distance from Tom, easily accessible to accept gifts from fans but stay out of most of the photos. When a reporter got Tom sidetracked into answering some questions, a friendly hand touched her shoulder. She turned to see Chris Hemsworth stopping to give her a hello kiss. He conversationally asked about their flight and how excited Tom was to be in London. He gave a knowing wink as he asked in his handsome Aussie accent, “And how are you?”

Inwardly, Kat smiled. Naturally, Tom would have told Chris about their new dynamic, as Chris had become a trusted friend. She bragged with a bright smile, “Excellent. Everything is good…”

They were interrupted by someone telling Chris he was needed elsewhere. As he walked away, he waved and yelled, “See you inside, Katherine!”

As she turned to get Tom back in her sight to ensure he didn’t need her, she heard her name being called from behind her. “Katherine?”

Kat shifted to look behind her, not recognizing the female voice. A tall, brunette British woman dressed in a gorgeous red dress was beckoning her over. An aura of wealth, education, manners and a sense of royalty surrounded this woman. “I apologize. Are you Katherine Temple?”

“I am. Do I know you?” Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Tom chatting with another interviewer, keeping tabs on him.

The brunette graciously clarified, “I’m afraid not. I have been getting the runaround from your agency. My name is Darcy Lancaster-Hastings. I am old friend of Tom’s, from RADA.” The blue eyed, fair skinned woman offered a jeweled hand to shake.

Kat shook her hand distractedly, trying to work her way back to Tom. Kat declared, “Oh! I have received your messages, but the objective of the meeting wasn’t clear enough to push through to Tom. I’m sorry.”

Darcy demurely admitted, “Yes, I apologize for that profusely. Would I be able to claim Tom’s attention for a few moments?”

“I’m afraid that’s quite impossible. If you’ll excuse me…”

Darcy stopped Kat once more from returning to Tom’s side. She insisted, “I must speak with him.”

Frazzled from the persistence of this woman, the heightened atmosphere of the premiere, and the nagging feeling that she should be moving Tom along, Kat snapped, “Please, set it up through the agency. Provide the nature of the meeting and we’ll set it up when he’s back in London again. Excuse me, I really must go.”

Dismissively, Kat hurried away, feeling pressured by the regal-looking woman and being sidetracked from her main responsibility. Something didn’t sit right with her on how Darcy requested another meeting on the red carpet of a big event. It didn’t scream professionalism to her, but she brushed it off, filing it in her head to discuss with Tom later.

The London premiere was a grand success, as was the Rome premiere two days later and the Berlin premiere two days after that. The Marvel train did not come to complete stop until they hit New York City, mere days after Berlin. All the traveling and appearances was an exhausting pace. Kat was drained by the time they made it to New York, but Tom was still flying high.

Kat had to admit that waking up in Tom’s arms in midtown Manhattan with a day off ahead of them was next to heavenly. The whirlwind of the past week left little time for any personal, romantic exploration other than random kisses, caresses and hand holding.

As Tom snuggled into her neck, nipping her skin, Kat objected weakly, “We have to review work things.”

He whispered, his warm breath licking along her shoulder, “Ignore it. You’re my girlfriend right now and nothing more.”

She rolled over towards him, her back melting into the Marriott Marquis expensive mattress. She wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him into her. She whispered against his lips, “I think that may be the best idea you’ve ever had, my love.” 


	9. Chapter 9

New York is a metropolis of hurried energy, kinetic high levels of stress, a melting pot of cultural differences, and an epicenter of art in every form. The pollution filled smog was impossible to breathe in without the smell of steam from the subways, the honey-covered nuts from the cart on every corner, fuel emissions from the lines of traffic and Starbucks coffee. However, high above Time’s Square, in a suite on the forty-fifth floor, all the commotion and bustle meant nothing.

The blackout curtains were pulled across the picture window to keep out the late morning sun. The windows kept out the unwelcome noise of horns blowing, tourists screaming, and the general hum of a densely populated city. With the do not disturb sign on the doorknob outside to discourage housekeeping and the telephone off the hook, Kat and Tom were the only two people in the world, their world.

After all they had been through in the past four weeks with the Marvel tour and all the drama they’d put each other through, this time was finally theirs and theirs alone. Hiding their relationship and how they felt for one another had created its own tension between them. When they checked in to the hotel the night before, somehow all that dropped away.

Waking up together, entangled in each other’s limbs with nowhere they had to be was precisely what they needed. The freedom of it was heady and intoxicating. As Tom snuggled into her neck from behind, nipping her skin, Kat objected weakly, with no conviction behind her thought, “We have to review work things.”

He whispered, his warm breath licking along her shoulder, “Ignore it. You’re my girlfriend right now and nothing more.”

She rolled over towards him, her back melting into the impressively massive mattress. She wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him into her. She whispered against his lips, “I think that may be the best idea you’ve ever had, my love.”

Tom lingered a moment longer before kissing her so thoroughly. Eyelids slid closed and breathing became shallow. Unhurried, Tom massaged her lips with his own, finding their familiar connection. Their kiss, like savoring a cool drink of water after a long hot day, was refreshing and soothing. His mouth on hers was all she wanted and all she needed. Romance was in the very heart of a kiss, and she felt closer to him. Wrapped in his spell, she poured all her passion for him into responding to him. He was lost and dizzy under the spell of her.

He licked her upper lip, his tongue gaining permission inside. Her hands kneaded and then curled into his hair, pulling him even closer. Encouraged, he ran his tongue along hers, tasting that essence that was so completely and utterly his Kat. Kissing him wasn’t a new experience for her, but it always felt that way. The exhilaration of being close and intimate always felt unexplored, yet there was a familiarity so intrinsically woven into the experience that it was absolutely craved. Tom ran his fingers through her hair as well, cupping her head between his large hands.

His right hand freed itself from her hair to find her hand in his hair. Urging her fingers with his, he interlocked fingers with her to convey a further sense of nearness. She moaned into his mouth approvingly, letting him know that she felt all the same. She disentangled her other hand from his hair to caress down his back, holding him to her, urging him with her touch that she wanted further contact. He had been leaning over her with only the slightest contact along her side.

With finesse that she never thought possible, he tugged at her hip, pulling and tucking her underneath him. And then his pleasing weight was blanketing her body again, infusing her with renewed desire. Their mouths were still tangled in a sensual dance of tongues, teeth and lips, never once leaving each other. Kat parted her legs just enough for Tom to settle over her.

Communicating his longing for her, he thrust his erection against her gently. She whimpered at the contact with her lower lips, already wet in anticipation. She was anxious and nervous, but overall she hungered for him. Driven to the very point of mad lust, she clawed at his flannel top and pulled it from his body. She needed further contact, desperation dripped from her fingertips as she splayed her hands on his bare back.

He laughed lightly in the back of his throat, thrilled by her desire for him. As he moved to kiss her shoulder, he seductively said, “Patience, baby. We have all day.”

As he gently bit her neck sending a jolt of electricity to her core, she sighed, “I have never wanted anyone so much.”

The warmth of his skin was intoxicating, bringing her back to her senses and grounding her. She ran her fingertips down the length of his back, scratching imperceptibly, before caressing back up and repeating it again and again. He kissed her neck and ears, continuing his assault on her senses. With every kiss, she wanted him a little more; with every nibble, the ache within her a little tighter.

Tom lifted her lacy knee-length nightgown along the sides exposing her thighs. His marvelous hands squeezed her thighs, just to feel the supple, soft skin. He moaned into her neck, appreciating the luck of having this woman in his bed. Dragging the light material of her nightgown all the way up and off her body, Tom left her in only her panties. There was very little light in the room, but he could still make out the glow of her skin, her glorious breasts, and her eyes glowing with arousal.

He held her gaze as he cupped her breasts in his palms, relishing in the softness and weight of them. She arched into him and her hips grazed against his eagerly. Massaging her flesh, her rose-colored nipples pebbled into peaks in the centers of his hands. He gently tweaked her nipples as her back arched off the bed again, her insides clenching with want, her mouth voicing his name. As she rested back into the mattress, his mouth captured a nipple in his teeth, and she bowed off the bed once more. He marveled in her responsiveness to his touch, amazed that he had such an effect.

Tom nuzzled the sensitive skin between her breasts, nipping lightly. As he did, her hands found their way to his deliciously firm butt and squeezed, effectively rocking his hips into her, his erection pressing in her sweet spot. They groaned together, almost undone by the friction, the bare skin of her abdomen pressed against his adding further stimulation. As his lips and teeth continued worshipping her breasts, his hand slid down her torso over her cotton panties. Teasingly, he ran his middle finger over the crease of her, noticing how wet the material already was. He growled into her breasts, “Dear God, woman, you are so wet.”

Kat’s hands cupped his head, urging him to look up at her, and said with lust in her voice, “For you.”

Tom nearly ripped the small bit of fabric from her like a man possessed, now starving for her. Teeth nipped along her abdomen working his way down along her skin, damp with sweat. He paused at her hip bone, mirroring his action from one of their first nights together. He sucked deeply at the crease at the top of her leg, to mark her, claim her as his. She cried out at the agonizing pleasure of it, jolts of energizing arousal straight through her. Before she could recover fully from that, Tom licked at her folds. Her hands dug into his scalp immediately, holding him to her.

Because of Tom, Kat was hovering at the plateau of pleasure, dancing on the edge of orgasm. Gently he moved two fingers into her, twisting marginally as he licked at her clitoris. Kat made some kind of inhuman sound at the onslaught of attention. He drank from her as though she were the most delicious pudding he’d ever tasted. Between his fingers in her and his tongue and teeth on her, it didn’t take long before a powerful climax took her. Her entire body stiffened as white light flashed behind her eyes. Her inner walls rippled around his fingers in waves, her breathing audibly heavy in the room.

As she returned to herself, Tom removed his flannel pajamas pants and blanketed her body with his. Flesh against flesh was beyond exhilarating. She could still feel the effects of her orgasm, her limbs like jelly, and the relief of tension washing over her in waves. She pulled him in for a hungry kiss, tasting herself along his tongue.

Supporting his weight on his forearm, Tom positioned the tip of his length along her entrance with his hand between them. He bit his lip in concentration as he teased her by running the tip along her slit. She wrapped her arms around his neck when she was ready, and whispered, “Make love to me, Tom.”

Needing no further encouragement, Tom moved forward gently, hesitated, eased forward a little further, and paused once more before burying himself within her. Her tight, wet heat clenched around his length, accommodating his size. He let out a shuddered breath against her neck, biting back the threat of orgasm. She was stretched around him, feeling full and complete. She was meant to be with him in this way, to be as close as they were, their bodies fit together perfectly.

Long minutes passed before Tom murmured with worship and reverence into her ear, “Katherine… my Katherine…” His hot breath licked along the shell of her causing her to shiver in further anticipation. His proclamation created a lump of emotion in her throat and she wanted to weep openly. The adoration and admiration she heard in his voice were enough to send screaming jubilation from the roof of their hotel. She never felt closer to another person as she had in that moment, and the depth of emotion wasn’t entirely hers and hers alone.

Her answer came as a strangled cry as he moved within her. The rest of her pleas were swallowed by his kiss, his mouth firmly on hers again ravenously. With slow, exaggerated movements, his hips flexed away from her and back into her again. Their kisses graduated from beautiful synchronicity to sloppy meeting of mouths as his waist created a steady rhythm. The weight of him, the feel of him, the smell of him, the very all of him encompassed her. Tom breathed sweet nothings against her cheeks, her neck, her hair and her ear. She was not surprised that he was a vocal lover, and she was thrilled by it.

Tom, overwhelmed by his love for this woman and the physical feel of her, couldn’t hold back the inevitable much longer. Always concerned with her comfort and satisfaction, he moved a hand between their joined bodies to touch her clitoris. She thrust up into his hand and body and gasped, “Oh, God!”

Urgently, he whispered, “Baby, you must cum for me. I can’t hold on anymore.” He continued to massage her sweet spot and his hips hitched into her at a greater pace.

Kat screamed his name as her body betrayed her; she had wanted their lovemaking to last forever. Her body arched into him, tensing, before releasing intensely. Her vaginal walls clamped around him rhythmically as her jaw slacked, her breath rushing from her lungs. The moment she clenched around him, he let go, letting his orgasm claim him. With a few more ragged and rough thrusts, he released and collapsed against her, his face on her chest. His breath rushed over her sweat-slicked skin. She wrapped her arms and legs around him, holding him to her as they recovered, her hands tracing lazy shapes along the expanse of his damp back.

Teeth worried lovingly at the inside of her left breast, alerting her that Tom had returned from his orgasm. She giggled as the light biting turned to sucking. Although it tinged on the side of painful, she knew he was marking her again, and she wanted that. With shaky arms, she held him to her chest, submitting to their mutual desire. When he stopped, he licked the spot he marked; proud that he’d claimed her as his. He licked a path up to her mouth to kiss her once more.

“I love you,” he told her.

“I love you too,” she answered, smiling up at him, enjoying the haze of contentment. Her heart was full, her head clear, and her body sated.

Tom eventually mentioned, “I’m going to take a shower, darling. I’d like you to join me.”

“Assuming my limbs actually work…”

Male pride brightened his features. “I did that.”

Rolling her eyes, Kat pushed at him, unwrapping her limbs from around him. Tom withdrew from her body and she immediately felt the loss of him. She enjoyed the view as she watched his lithe form get out of bed, his long limbs stretching and flexing. She took his proffered hand to aid in her getting up as well. He led her by the hand to the bathroom and flipped the switch for the light.

The hum and cold light of fluorescent filled the room. Tom led them directly into the glass enclosed over-sized shower that occupied an entire wall. There was a marble bench inside and multiple rainfall shower heads  including one directly over the center. The pink coral tile beneath her feet was cool to the touch, but warmed with the hot water. Tom adjusted the temperature of the water to steamy hot. They stood in the middle; arms wrapped around the other, under the direct flow, letting the spray wash away all evidence of their mating.

Kat opened the soap and lathered it in her hand before starting at his shoulders. She took her time, learning every inch of skin beneath her hands. The defined and lean muscle made up his chest and torso. She followed the hard lines of the bones, committing it all to memory. She rubbed the soap into the sparse hair at the very center of his chest and kissed the spot after the suds had washed away.

She continued down his body to his waist and his happy trail. Her voice husky with renewed arousal, she commanded, “Turn around.” He did as wished, letting her continue her exploration of his broad back. She spent along while at the dimples at his lower back and his round firm butt. She kissed the spot between his shoulder blades and licked at each dimple. With careful movements, she got to her knees, and washed his impossibly long legs with soapy hands. She stayed on her knees, even when the request for him to turn back around fell from her mouth.

She was genuinely nervous, and she wasn’t sure why. She had done this before, and with Tom, but she was incredibly self-conscious about it this time. Their eyes met as he spun around, a spark of unspoken understanding passing between them. Starting from his ankles, she lathered his legs, washing the sweat that had been. Slowly working her way up, she found him semi hard when she got to his waist again. He was standing as he always did, feet planted far apart. She lathered her hands up well before setting the soap aside. Taking his length in one hand and his sack in her other, she rubbed the suds into his skin.

Tom grunted, his head thrown back in ecstasy as he stiffened at her touch. Water replaced suds, but she didn’t stop. When he was fully erect, she licked the tip, tasting the bitter sting of soap mixed with his unique essence. Gaining some confidence, she wrapped her lips around the head of him, his hands twisted in the wet strands of her hair. She looked up to see that his head was still lulled back, the pleasure all he could focus on. She slid down the hard steel, her tongue flat against a vein along the underside, the skin like silk. When he hit the back of her throat, she pulled back sucking gently as she went. She set a steady pace of taking him in, and pulling back.

The panting and groaning that came from her boyfriend’s throat only added to the desire building within her. She pressed her thighs together to try to relieve some of the tension. She kept up her manipulation of him. A curse ripped through the sound of the water and Tom yanked Kat away from him by her hair. She sought out his gaze questioningly, wondering why he made her stop. He cupped her face and guided her to her feet. He kissed her roughly, shoving his tongue into her mouth. As he pulled away again, he said, “You are far too good at that. I still want to fuck you, and if you suck me off, I won’t be able to. Now, turn around, baby.”

Kat faced away from him, flushed with further arousal at his promise of more sex. She felt the soap on her back coupled with his huge hands. Where she’d spent time learning his body, he didn’t spend as much time with her, too eager to get inside her again. He washed her back and all the skin facing him, before pulling her into him, his front flush against her back. He worked the soap into her chest and breasts, pulling at her nipples. As he did, she wiggled her ass against his erection, sighing, “Oh my God!”

With the soap, he lathered down to the apex of her thighs. Touching her so intimately made her sag further into his body. He quickly deposited the soap as his fingers found her clitoris. He fondled her as two of his incredibly long fingers thrust up into her body. Her vaginal walls clenched once at the onslaught of stimulation. He spoke into her ear, his voice deep with arousal, “Do you want me to fuck you, baby?”

“Oh God, yes,” she panted.

“Tell me to fuck you,” he demanded.

“Yes, fuck me!”

“Bend over, hands on the bench,” he instructed. He guided her down with hand at the back of her neck. With an arm around her waist for support, one of his legs urged hers apart. He took in the sight of her bent in front of her, her vagina swollen and wet from more than the water of the shower. He slapped her ass playfully, making her jump and curse out loud again.

He rubbed her slit with the tip of his cock, driving her mad with desire. She pushed back against him, wanting him to take her. He teased her until she begged for him, “Please fuck me. Please please please. Fuck me, Tom.” Where everything about their first time having sex was sweet and loving, this was the opposite. This was primal and naughty, downright dirty. The teasing with the soap had worked them up to sex maniacs.

With one swift and precise thrust, he buried himself to the hilt within her. The couple cursed together at the very raw feel of it. Tom pulled nearly all the way out just to slam back into her. His thrusts advanced to full on aggression, their skin slapping together, the wet claps of skin and skin drowning out their grunts, groans and moans. He fisted a hand in her hair, and pulled her up against him. “Tell me how I feel inside you,” he growled in her ear.

“Impossibly big, spectacular, so full. Don’t stop. Don’t ever stop,” she panted out between slaps. He bit down on her shoulder in approval, loving the compliments, upping her pleasure. Her legs burned with the effort of standing with the relentless, tumultuous force of strokes into her.

Tom bent her back over, one arms steadying her against him, his hand finding her clit once more. His orgasm was fast approaching, but he wouldn’t give in unless she did. He applied pressure to her clit, hoping to encourage her over the edge. “Fuck, baby, cum for me. Cum for me now.”

His voice and his urgency sent her over the edge of oblivion. Her entire body shook and spasmed, her climax triggering his. He came with a thunderous roar, spilling everything he had into her. She must have passed out, because when she came to, she was in Tom’s lap and he was sitting on the bench. The shower was still running, and her entire body ached. Tom cradled her to his body, caressing her wet hair and whispering sweet nothings into her forehead. Weakly, she asked, “Tom?”

“Are you back with me, baby?” She nodded, sighing and snuggling into him a little closer. “You collapsed and passed out on me.”

She smiled and nibbled at his sexy neck. “That was sensational.”

“Not too rough?”

“No, not too rough. That was delicious.”

Tom stood up, carrying Kat with him. He turned off the water and collected towels to dry them both. Taking turns, he dried them as best he could and deposited her back in bed. He climbed in with her spooning her from behind. Before long, they drifted off to sleep. The rest of the day was spent making love, and ignoring their careers, enjoying their day off.

In the morning with the dawn, Tom made love to her once more before climbing out of bed with her to take a shower together. He was back on the interview circuit for the Avengers. Kat, half dressed, checked her emails on her iPad, in case anything in the schedule had changed during their day off. An email from her agency caught her eye because the subject was labeled as ADDENDUM. She quickly reviewed the information, and mentally matched the name to the woman from the London premiere on the red carpet. Kat remembered telling her that she needed further information to present it to Tom. Confusingly, the clarification for the meeting included only two words.

Informally, only to satisfy her curiosity, Kat decided to ask Tom. He was dressing his familiar soft v-neck grey shirt and black jeans with a black belt. She asked, “Tom, who is Darcy Lancaster-Hastings? Do the words ‘pure imagination’ mean anything to you?”


	10. Chapter 10

Tom looked closely at his girlfriend across the room, noting again how often she could be distracted by the slightest of details. She managed to put on a matching set of light purple bra and knickers, and her blue jeans pulled up but not buttoned. Her blouse was on the chair, temporarily forgotten in her haste to check her emails on her iPad. Her hair was still damp from their shared shower and her makeup was spread out all over the counter by the sink ready for application. He had no idea how she kept him so organized when she could not focus on her own needs. In that moment he thought her irresistible and incredibly adorable.

He couldn’t take his eyes off her or concentrate on what she was asking. Evidence of their lovemaking marred her skin, the red mark on her shoulder from his nip and the love bite on her left breast. He knew there were others that were hidden from sight beneath her clothes in more intimate places that were only for the couple to know about. He was driven to thoughts and memories of the last twenty-four hours. He had to find a way to center his thoughts away from his sexy girlfriend and all the naughty things they had done together back to his job and career. Nearly an impossible feat as he wanted nothing more than to take her back to bed and continue proving how much he loved her.

“Tom?” Kat asked trying to win his attention back to on her words and not her body. “My eyes are up here, baby.”

Tom laughed the way he always did, his tongue pushed through his teeth. “I’m so sorry, love. You have my full attention.”

Referring back to her screen for the correct information, she repeated, “Who is Darcy Lancaster-Hastings? Do the words ‘pure imagination’ mean anything to you?” Kat dropped her iPad on the bed to finish getting ready.

Tom’s blood ran cold at the mere mention of the name, especially from the woman who had come to mean so much to him in the past few months. The name was one he never thought he’d hear again, after all these years. With practiced grace under pressure, Tom tried to freeze an expression of indifference on his face and in his voice as he answered. “Darcy…” The taste of her name was so bitter on his tongue, but he hoped his tone betrayed the emotion. “She was someone I went to school with, at RADA.”

He wasn’t going to damper, minimize or trivialize all he had gone through with Kat by reliving the past. Ancient history had no place in this room with them and Darcy was the last person he wanted invited inside. The past twenty-four hours meant too much to him and going over a painful past was not worth bringing into it.

Kat sprayed leave-in conditioner generously over her head before running a comb through her hair. “She’d said.”

Stamping down surprise internally, he stopped himself from reacting harshly at the thought of Darcy and Kat having a conversation. “Did you speak with her directly?”

Kat finished combing her hair and secured her tresses in a high ponytail at the back of her head with a black band. “Yes, I met her in London. I didn’t have a chance to tell you that night. The premiere was a bit crazy.”

“You met her?” He was trying not to acknowledge how much this bothered him, but the turn of events was nothing he could have anticipated. He shoved his phone and wallet in the pockets of his jeans, cursing internally. Darcy had insinuated herself into his life without his knowledge.

Brushing on eye shadow, Kat related how they met. “She was on the red carpet, just beyond the press velvet ropes. I was talking with Hemsworth, and she must’ve heard him say my name. She’s been trying to get in touch with you.” She continued applying her light makeup in an attempt to be presentable to the public. “She knew my name from going through the agency, something about losing your phone number and email. I didn’t bring it to you yet because she’s been very vague about details and a reason for a meeting.”

“A meeting?” He couldn’t imagine what Darcy was up to; she never was what she seemed to be. After his many years knowing her, he couldn’t trust that her motives were entirely what she presented them to be. Tom had little to no contact with her since he had his phone stolen and lost her contact information. Even the smallest effort to obtain her phone number was more than he was willing to do, and he hadn’t missed her lack of presence in his life.

Kat crossed the room to retrieve her blouse and shrug into it. As she buttoned the front from bottom to top, effectively hiding all displays of their time together, she nodded. “Yes, she wants a meeting with you. I wouldn’t clear it or present it to you until she sent a project. Her ‘clarification’ were the words ‘pure imagination.’ Does that mean something to you?”

Tom knew exactly what those words meant, but that had been so long ago. A silly notion between idealistic school students who didn’t know how the real world operated. Attempting to shrug off the entire conversation, Tom said, “It’s not important.”

Kat, fully dressed and ready, turned off her iPad and shoved it in her bag with her cell phone. She put her bag within easy reach before stepping into her boyfriend’s arms, fondness displayed on her face as she met his gaze. The line of his mouth was set and the zest in his eyes was momentarily less than she was used to. She shrugged, “She has been very insistent, Tom. That’s all. My curiosity got the better of me. I thought it strange that she approached me at the premiere. Considered maybe this was something even bigger for you.”

He shook his head, denying that statement emphatically. “No, I’m not interested.”

“Do you not even want a conference call or anything?”

Tom was unmoved in his stoicism, and there was a bite to his clipped words. “No, this isn’t something I want to pursue.” The finality of his speech made Kat recoil some. She hadn’t been prepared for a reaction like that, and he looked conflicted. She stepped back, out of the circle of his arms, to assess his mood.

“I’m sorry,” she said quickly, figuring that he didn’t want to discuss this possibility while trying to focus on the Avengers. “I’ll shelve it. My curiosity got the better of me. Shall we go? I’m supposed to have you downstairs in ten minutes.”

Tom took a deep breath, realizing that he may have given away more than he intended. Pushing all thought of Darcy and whatever she was planning aside, he concentrated on releasing some the tension this conversation had caused. He hadn’t meant for Kat to step away from him. In an attempt to reclaim the mood from a short time ago, Tom offered a hand for Kat to hold. When she did with a smile, he pulled her back into his arms for a kiss.

The couple rode the elevator down to street level hand in hand to grab Starbucks before reporting to the fourth floor conference where the panels had been set up. Tom settled in for another long day of press, and Kat hovered as the supportive girlfriend and the attentive assistant. With Tom preoccupied, she answered the email from agency about Darcy and ‘pure imagination’ by asking them to postpone her until they were back in London in a week’s time and to provide further details. Maybe Tom would have time to consider the project properly with a little more detail and he was out of his Loki head.

When press was done for the day, the couple went back up to their suite to change. Kat had encouraged Tom to take her on a proper date since they were in her hometown and her favorite city in the world. Tom, despite being in the biggest film of the year, could disappear in the crowd and very few people would actually recognize him. New York City was fantastic for blending in, and they could be a couple in love. They went for dinner, a show and a walk around midtown to connect and just be who they were. When they returned to their suite, they made love into the wee hours of the morning.

The next two days were spent doing much of the same. Tom had press during the day, with Kat watching over. At night, he took her out for dinner and a movie or a show, before going back to their suite to have mind numbing sex. And it was perfect for an entire week in New York City. After the closing of the Tribeca film festival where the Avengers premiere was the finale, Tom’s schedule lightened up during the day. Instead of full days of press, he’d only have to make a couple of random appearances. It was a glimpse of what their life would be on the other side of this Marvel mayhem.

Kat and Tom arrived back in London in early May with very little on his schedule for a month. A few interviews and photo shoots were scheduled for the end of the month, and Kat was still working on getting invitations for premieres, to keep Tom visible. At Kat’s insistence, Tom picked up a couple of short films and day appearances here and there. The first two days back in London were spent in Tom’s bed, spectacularly reveling in all the places they didn’t need to be by delighting in each other’s bodies as much as humanly possible. On day three, Kat was able to secure a small flat to rent for herself near Tom’s, to feel a sense of independence from one another. Kat picked up an additional assignment of assistant for a young British daytime soap star that needed little more than someone to fetch her tea, while maintaining her position with Tom.

Tom took a few days to reconnect and catch up with his mother and sister Emma just outside London, while Kat stayed behind to catch up on correspondences and requests for script readings. Because their relationship was so new and they were still getting to know each other as a couple, Kat was able to check in with a lot of her friends while Tom out of town. She spent two hours on Skype with her best friend to gush about her new lover and all they had been through. Kat also exchanged texts with Steve to confirm he was still coming to London for his concerts. Her intention, when Tom returned from his mum’s, had been to ask him if they could go to one of the shows

‘Pure imagination’ was still on the list to discuss with Tom when he returned from his mini-holiday. Kat was careful with how to approach the subject since it had not gone well the last time. This Darcy was being persistent with her invitation and she was making a nuisance of herself with the agency. Over a work lunch, Kat broached the subject, “Do you want to tell me about pure imagination?”

Tom looked up at her suddenly, suspiciously. “Why do you ask?”

Slowly and tactfully, she tried to explain. “This woman has been calling the agency. I can’t put her off anymore.”

He shook his head, eyes hooded to hide any type of emotion. “I told you that isn’t something I want to pursue.”

She sighed. “Tom, you’re putting me in a very awkward position. I have to know about the project and neither one of you seems to want to tell me any specifics. In order to turn her away, I have to be able to speak intelligently about it.”

Knowing that he couldn’t win this and he couldn’t keep it from Kat any longer, he spilled, “Pure Imagination was a theatre camp or theatre group that we dreamed of putting together. There’s been a lack of repertory theatre that there used to be, and we noticed it dying down more and more while at uni. An idea borne from the possibility that acting doesn’t work out for all, we would still be involved in theatre in some way and reviving an integral part of the craft. A camp for young people to explore the magic of theatre and for university students to acquire the discipline of learning one play during the day and preforming a different one at night.”

Kat genuinely like the idea. Brilliant because it kept those who had a passion for the theatre, acting and creating close to the heart and encouraged the continuation for future generations. “It’s not a bad idea for the future, Tom. Work your career from both angles. You could be a silent partner or investor.”

“Katherine please,” he warned. “Once shooting begins again, I won’t have the time or energy to put into setting that up. If I were to do something like this, I would want to do it correctly.”  

“Then postpone it. Don’t reject it.” Her phone was on the table, and sounded with an incoming text. They both glanced down at the offending object to see Steve’s smiling face and part of his message displayed: “Xcellent. Hope 2 c u next week.” Kat snatched the phone off the table and shoved it in her purse, but the damage had been done. She had seen, Tom had seen and they both knew.

Tom’s expression didn’t change, and he continued on as though he hadn’t seen. But they both knew that he had, and he didn’t understand the context. The question hung between them: why was Tom’s girlfriend making plans to see another man? Continuing on as if there had not been an interruption, Tom argued, “This is not right for me, Katherine. Please drop it. Tell her it’s not something that I want to be involved in. She can run with the idea, but I don’t want any part of it.”

The rest of the lunch had been tense, and neither of them knew how to broach the subject again, of Steve or pure imagination. Steve was going to be in town, he wanted to see his friend and meet her new boyfriend, and show off his new music. This was on Kat for not having the guts or time to talk to Tom before this, and she felt guilty for that.

The next day on the set of an uppity British daytime drama, Kat called Darcy herself to let her know Tom’s decision. The phone rang three times before it was answered. The voice on the other end sounded like her intended contact but Kat couldn’t be sure. “Miss Lancaster-Hastings, please.”

The female on the other end said with a friendly laugh, “Please call me Darcy.”

“Darcy, this is Katherine Temple, Tom Hiddleston’s assistant.” She wanted to claim herself so much more than that, but she bit her tongue. This wasn’t the time for such declarations.

“Katherine, I’ve been awaiting your call,” Darcy voice said with an exasperated sigh.

“I apologize for the delayed response. Tom has been taking a few days off since returning to London after spending so much time away.” Why should she feel so defensive? This woman was the pushy, obnoxious one, demanding a meeting because she knew Tom in another life.

Darcy pushed on, “When is the meeting scheduled?”

Cringing, Kat was not thrilled about this call, and especially about outright rejecting any meeting. “I’m sorry, but Tom is not interested. He doesn’t want any part of it. He fully supports your pursuing Pure Imagination on your own, but he doesn’t have the time to devote-”

Before Kat could even finish the thought, Darcy interrupted, “That’s unacceptable!”

Kat was stunned silent for a full minute, the vehemence is the woman’s tone was shocking. She wasn’t prepared for another denial. Disappointment, Kat understood, but outright denial she didn’t know how to deal with. Flustered, Kat tried to manage the anger. “I understand you’re disappointed, Darcy.”

The livid woman yelled, “Damn right I am. I want Tom to tell me himself. You set up a meeting for next week.”

Speaking calmly to lessen the other woman’s anger, Kat said apologetically, “That’s quite impossible. Tom is very busy.” Kat was trying to stay the voice of reason, but this woman was getting under her skin.

“Unacceptable. I must have a meeting with him. Pure imagination was our idea collectively.”

Kat reasonably tried another approach, “Tom fully supports your pursuing it, finding another partner and creating a school or group. He doesn’t want to be a part of it.”

Condescendingly, Darcy commanded, “You listen to me, assistant. Do as your title suggests, and you schedule that meeting. He must tell me himself. I will not be rejected like all other trash. I will continue to call until I get that.” With a flourish, Darcy hung up on Kat.

She sat down, trying to calm her blood pressure. She was not used to this kind of response. This was the most difficult part of her career choice, dealing with the rejections, the rejections of the talent she was assisting and the people they in turn rejected.  

That night, Kat lost herself with Tom, taking solace and comfort in his caresses and his kisses. Their relationship was strained, but as they always did, they connected physically. They were both holding onto secrets, and they were addressing the issues in the only way they knew how. Their love for one another was stronger than the secrets they held… maybe.


	11. Chapter 11

With the Darcy deadline looming, Kat was dreading the need to share a conversation with Tom about the project again. She tried reasoning with Darcy about the nature of the meeting. They would all take the time to come to the same result, and that just seemed wasteful. Tom was beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was not interested in this, he didn’t want credit for the idea and he didn’t want to stand in the way. As much as Tom denied the project, Darcy pushed for it. Kat was inextricably caught between a rock and a hard place.

Kat, because she spent so much time with him professionally and socially, had the conversation with him in many ways. She wanted to understand his reluctance since the idea had merit. Being a silent partner or an investor was a prudent idea in a business sense, presently and in the future. The subject was a sore spot for him, and she couldn’t make sense of the anger.

Sitting sideways on Tom’s couch, with her knees tucked under her chin reviewing her emails, Kat had another notification from the agency that Darcy had contacted them. Like clockwork, twice a day, Kat fielded these notifications, effectively shedding a negative light on Kat as being unresponsive. Matt, Kat’s boss, was pissed as hell, even after Kat had explained the situation.

Attempting another go of this discussion was tough on Kat, knowing how much it upset him. She wanted to be supportive, but she didn’t know any other way of dispelling the conflict once and for all. Tom was so sweet with her most of the time, but when she broached this subject, he became distant and off. They had tried to keep their personal and professional lives separate, but they were beginning to bleed into one another.

Tom was in the kitchen making lunch for the two of them while Kat was off from her daytime soap duties with the teenager. “Baby,” she called to him. “You haven’t forgotten about the Prometheus premiere on Friday, right?”

Jokingly, he replied, “My assistant is supposed to remind me actually.”

She giggled lightly, so her smile could be heard in her voice when she spoke again. “Do you need me to pick up a suit for you?”

Abandoning the salads on the counter momentarily, he joined her on the couch, kissing her sweetly. “No, I think I can get away with one I have. Shall I dress to match you?”

Putting her iPad aside, she wrapped her arms around his neck and stretched her legs, one on either side of him. One of her legs at his back and one draped across his lap. She was wearing short yoga pants that rode up as she moved, revealing more skin. “Mr. Hiddleston, I would love to see you wear pink on the red carpet, or as I understand it, blue carpet.”

They shifted, Kat angling down as Tom moved over her in between her legs. He smiled into her mouth. “Do you doubt my ability to wear pink, darling?”

Kat leaned into him, kissing him with all the affection she held for him. Tom encouraged the kiss by submitting to her. He let her take the lead, as she was usually hesitant, always waiting for him to initiate any contact. She sunk further into the couch, pulling him into her. The weight of him always made her feel safe, and considering the strain between them over the past few days, she wanted nothing more than to try to erase that. Her tongue slipped between his teeth to rub along his. The taste of him was so uniquely him, she was lightheaded from drinking him in. Fingertips sunk into his short tresses, holding him to her.

Tom wrapped his arms around the woman beneath him, feeling her mold to his form. As they settled into the couch, his lips blazed a trail from her mouth to her neck. Kat teasingly mumbled, “I wonder what color Michael Fassbender will be wearing.”

Tom paused briefly, letting this information register. “Darling,” he said into the skin of her neck. “Do you have a crush on Fassbender?” He licked the pulse point in her neck, knowing her weakness and attempting to draw her attention back to him.

Kat angled, allowing him better access, as she slid her hands down his body, increasing the heat between them. “I may have a little thing for him.”

Tom nibbled and nipped at her ear, pulling a small moan from her throat. Seductively, he whispered into the shell of her ear, “Should I feel threatened by this confession?”

Kat giggled from how his breath tickled her hair. “Depends. Does he need an assistant too?”

Tom groaned comically and lifted himself off his girlfriend, playing into her teasing. He crossed back into the kitchen to continue preparing their salads, with Kat following close behind. Playing the part of wounded ego, Tom sighed and he sliced the tomatoes. Kat pressed her body into the back of his, her hands snaking around his waist, up his abdomen, to his pectorals. She hugged him closely, kissing each of his shoulder blades.

Hiking up onto the balls of her feet, futilely closing the distance in their heights. “I love you, baby. You know that.”

He turned around in her arms, placing the knife and vegetables down and returning the feigned pout on his face. “Some of us can’t compete with the likes of him.”

On her tippy toes, she kissed him softly on the lips as best she could. She shook her head. “No competition. No man has ever cared for me, touched me or made love to me as you have. I love you more than you’ll ever know.”

Dropping the act at the sincerity of her words, Tom kissed her deeply. He pulled her closer, holding her as close as possible. When they parted a few moments later, she poked fun at him once more. “Unless, of course, Ewan McGregor comes along.” He smacked her ass lightly as she made a playful face at him as she made her way to the table to set out forks to eat.

Over lunch, they discussed a few of the scripts that had been kicked their way. Kat had liked a few and saw Tom as a character within. She was good for him, she understood what he wanted to accomplish and what he liked to explore. At present, due to his commitment to Marvel, he searched for scripts grounded in reality other than the supernatural or superhero genre. He wanted to find comedic roles as well, since he was an overall goofball.

Together they agreed on two to pursue aggressively, another that Kat would release that he was interested in, and one that overall probably wouldn’t be a wise move. She entered in the plan into her iPad, before turning it over and stroking a hand over the message Tom had left there for her. The knowledge that he felt strongly enough for her to give her that gift continued to pull at her heart at the most random times.

As Tom cleared the table and washed the dishes, he thought how eager he was to spend the rest of the day with his woman. Despite the fact that there was little going on, it was rare they both had a whole day together. He dried the plates with a crisp white tea towel and put them away in the cupboard. He started to join her back on the couch where she had already turned off her iPad and put it aside.

“Tom, I have to ask you once more about pure imagination.”

He froze in middle of the room as if Kat had quite literally slapped him across the face. The shock of her words stung like a bitch. He couldn’t comprehend how this kept surfacing in his life. The disturbance of her statement upset him so much that couldn’t hide the anger. “Katherine, we’ve been over this.”

Resigned to the fact that this was going to be unpleasant for both of them, Kat couldn’t meet his gaze. “Darcy Lancaster-Hastings has been wreaking havoc for me and the agency.”

Anger forced his words through clenched teeth. “I don’t care. I’m not interested in pursuing it. That should be enough for you.”

Kat knew he was fuming from his stance and his clenched fists. The professional in her tried to reign in the situation before his emotion fed hers. “Your word is enough for me. This has just gotten out of hand for either me or the agency to deal with. I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Do your job!”

Taking another relaxing breath, trying not to take the bait, Kat said, “I am, Tom. Talking to you about the issue is my job.”

Tom shook his head, trying to force this whole situation away. “I asked you to deal and dispel this situation. That is your job.”

Kat stood up from the couch, no longer able to take his anger without standing up for herself. She knew she would only regret it if she let her anger claim her as it threatened to do. “I can’t control this woman. I told her that you weren’t interested, but she wants a meeting with you face to face. She will not take no for answer from me or the agency.”

“Then make her understand. I pay you to do that!”

Rage washed over her from the stress of the conflict. She’d been trying so hard to manage it from both sides, but she had to admit that she couldn’t anymore. “She’s threatening my job! Because she refuses to accept that you are unwilling to meet with her, she calls twice a day every day for an interview time. She’s making me look neglectful, as though I’m not actually working for you!”

Tom rubbed a hand over his face and then through his hair. He was furious with himself for not having told Kat everything from day one. He placed her in the middle of the war without her knowing the sides, or what she was fighting for. This had very little to do with pure imagination, the brain child of two teenagers. This was an impossible situation for her to win. He hated himself for putting them in this situation, but he couldn’t see a way out now except forward.

Kat read an internal conflict raging, like watching his brain work. His expression morphed into so many different emotions that she couldn’t know what was going on. With tension running over her in waves, she managed to ask, “What aren’t you telling me, Tom? What don’t I know?” Both fair questions considering the argument, but he wasn’t ready to admit that he was wrong. However before he could respond, she asked the most vital question, “Who is Darcy Lancaster-Hastings?”

“Someone I dated at RADA,” the words rushed out of his mouth before he could stop them.

She felt the full force of them, and the truth was bitter. She had been supporting both sides. “How dare you put this on me, Tom?” She shook her head at him, crossing her arms in front of her chest. Her body language indicating that her interest in the conversation was waning due to his reluctance to tell her everything and to actually address the new tidbit of information. The thought of Tom with another woman, that woman specifically, was beyond loathsome. “Far be it from me, but in this business, you are bound to build up a number of ex’s that you don’t want to work with. What’s do different about this one, Tom? It’s a sensible project to have in your back pocket for the future,” with that sensible assistant had reentered the room.

His anger bubbled up and over again, returning full force. “Damn it, Katherine! Why aren’t you behind me on this?” There was more but he had to keep the momentum forward.

Surprised by his response, she was stunned. “That’s unfair. I’m looking at the bigger picture, Tom, the longevity of your career. I’m not going to agree with you every time.”

“NO! Enough! If I’ve said no, that should be enough for you to drop it and take care of it.”

Kat, exasperated, revisited the original issue and what had started this entire argument. “Tom, I brought this to you because you’re going to lose me. This fucking woman is trying to cost me my job.”

Desperate to get off the subject and go on with their lives, Tom yelled, “Then your feelings for me are clouding your judgment!” He regretted the words almost immediately, but there was no way he could unsay them or even possibly apologize for such a hurtful comment.

Kat gasped audibly, feeling the blow to her professional pride. Vehemence caused her voice to tremble with hurt and anger. “I am here for you entirely, Mr. Hiddleston. I support you one hundred percent, professionally and personally. Where is the same consideration for me? You may pay me, indirectly, but where is the support when I need it the most, lover?”

Before he could stop her, she’d gathered her things and had stormed out of his flat. He feebly called after her, but he knew he was wrong.   

*  *  *  *  *  *                  

Two days of pure agony with no phone calls, text messages or contact, Tom was going stir crazy. He knew he should call her, make some attempt to set things right, but he was more than a little embarrassed by his behavior. She was correct, of course. He wasn’t there for her, he constantly demanded more and more of her without being there for her. He barely slept, knowing that he’d become the taker in the relationship. Effortlessly, Kat gave and gave and gave without him noticing that he’d been selfishly taking without reciprocating.

Kat kept busy with the soap star for the next two days, drowning her anger in work. Her work ethic was the one thing she took pride in doing correctly, and Tom had attacked that part of her. She suspected that he was lashing out, hurting her in a way to cover up that he had omitted his history with Darcy. She was hoping that he would find her and apologize. She didn’t want to end things with him just because they argued.

She managed to not bite off Darcy’s head when she made her daily calls. This was the hardest part of her job, pandering to the unreasonable. She couldn’t burn bridges for Tom, no matter how angry she was with him. Kat wasn’t about to live down to Tom’s opinion of her and her work. She was better than that, and she would always strive to be the best.

The premiere of Prometheus was Friday afternoon, and as angry as she was, Kat was still attending. Dressed in the promised full length, sleeveless, light pink slip dress, Kat arrived on the blue carpet ten minutes before Tom arrived. Still fuming as though their argument had been twenty minutes before instead of two days before, Tom could feel the venom rolling off her. She was cold, but professional, polite but distant, and Tom hated that he had done this to her. Mirroring the way she had acted when he had first rejected her was driving a wedge between them, and he knew he had to fix it.

She looked absolutely stunning, despite her excellence at hiding her emotions and looking like a blank slate. She looked like a princess, with diamond bangle earrings. The pink of her gown made her skin look golden and luminous, and he wanted nothing more than to lose himself in her again. He missed her powerfully, and it forced him to examine how much he had to lose if she decided that she didn’t want to see him anymore.

Kat followed closely behind Tom as he made his way down the rows of reporters and fans. The pressure was off of him, no interviews, just standing and smiling pretty for the cameras. Having other names at the premiere always gave the movie more weight. The volume of the crowd shouting name after name seeking attention for the celebrities was nearly deafening. Kat always left these events with a massive migraine, only this time it could be her stress level.

Before she could get a handle on what was happening, there was a loud approving uproar in the crowd. Kat looked up to see Tom greeting Darcy Lancaster-Hastings with a huge smile and a kiss on the cheek. The blinding flashes of hundreds of cameras caught the magical reunion. Kat’s blood boiled, her tension increased ten-fold, her head spun with frustration and anxiety. Her lover greeted Darcy, the woman wreaking havoc on Kat’s personal and professional life, with a kiss and a smile as though they were old friends. Kat had barely gotten so much as a hello when Tom arrived. She wasn’t jealous, just livid.

All Kat could do was watch as Tom offered his arm to the offending woman to make their way to the theatre. Kat bit the inside of her cheek raw in an attempt to tame her anger as she followed. Tom opened the door for both women and escorted them both inside, joining the throng of people in the lobby. His hand found the small of Kat’s back as he let the door close behind them. She flinched at the touch and shot daggers at him, silently admonishing that move.

Darcy, oblivious to the inappropriate nature of the venue, asked Tom about pure imagination. “You owe me a meeting, Mr. Hiddleston. And I will not be persuaded otherwise.”

Tom, in his infinite patience and kindness, smiled. “This is not the time or the place, Darcy. I believe my assistant has also told you that I do not have time in my schedule.”

The tall gorgeous brunette pushed further, “Oh, Tom, let’s set something-“

Tom, in his quiet power, gave her a withering look, all the while appearing polite to the outside world. Clearly, he enunciated every syllable and said, “Darcy, this is not the time.” The woman closed her mouth and didn’t say anything more. She was escorted to her seat on the opposite side of the theatre a few minutes later.

Kat and Tom were escorted to their assigned seats and sat silently. She was radiating heat and rage, and he couldn’t blame her in the least. Her demeanor spoke volumes to the depths of her passionate fury. When the lights were lowered for the start of the film, Tom whispered, “Can we leave so we can talk?”

She nodded, as a welcome manipulation of getting out of watching a movie that she wouldn’t be able to concentrate on through her mounting rage. Tom led her out through the darkness to the back exit, trying not to disturb anyone. Darcy from across the theatre noticed the couple duck out, and got up and followed.


	12. Chapter 12

“You look absolutely stunningly gorgeous, darling.”

Standing in an alley behind the theatre out of range of sensitive eyes and ears, the couple made a bizarre sight. Both dressed to the nines, but surrounded by dumpsters, discarded boxes, and damp dirty stone and concrete. Tom Hiddleston was, without a doubt, the constant gentleman. As touching as his compliments were because of the sincerity behind the statement, this one fell flat for the intended target. Katherine Temple, assistant and lover, was ready to spit fireballs in her palpable indignation.

Kat, reluctant to humor him, would not acknowledge the beautiful compliment. Normally the words would have brought her to her knees, and in the very recess of her heart, the words touched her, but she would not give in to him so easily. She stood up to her full height, squaring off with him as best she could physically. He stood directly in front of her, hands shoved in his pockets due to nerves, and he never looked so handsome to her. Part of her wanted to take the easy road and run into his arms to forget the entire debacle, but more of her was too proud.

She shook her head, denying the compliment and letting her anger rule. “You don’t get off that easily, Hiddleston.”

Tom nodded, shifting uncomfortably where he stood. She was a woman not to be trifled with, and she was embodying that with every pore. “You’re right. I apologize for being polite before all else.”

Scoffing audibly, she said, “No! You don’t get to be the injured party here. Forgive me if I don’t believe your compliment at face value. You could be manipulating and charming me.”

He looked down at his feet, knowing again that she was correct. He didn’t know where to begin, how to begin apologizing for all he said, how he behaved. Terrified that he could lose her, both as his assistant and his lover all at once meant that he had to tread lightly. “I don’t know where to begin…”

Looking hard at him, willing him to speak, just say something. “Oh, I have a few suggestions. Should we begin with how you greeted the woman who’s nearly cost me my job? How easily you spoke with her when you couldn’t agree to a meeting to alleviate my stress? How much you don’t respect what I do and all I do for you? Or maybe we can start with how much you don’t support me?”

Tom, desperate to draw attention away from all his faults, took a deep breath and looked at her. “What about Steve?”

He was not proud of dredging up issues to argue with her, but she couldn’t pretend to be completely innocent in all of their issues. In all seriousness, logically he knew that Kat wasn’t cheating on him, but it still hurt that she didn’t talk to him. That knowledge, in no way, excused the information that he was withholding or assuaged his guilt. If he was truly honest with himself, it made him feel worse, she deserved better than the way he was handling their relationship. Suddenly, he missed her. She was standing five feet away and he missed her.

She opened her mouth to speak, to continue pointing out all of his mistakes, but quickly closed her lips again. True, she had yet to share her past and who Steve was to her. In that moment, the distance between them was impossibly wide and her heart sank. “How long have you been holding onto that one to use against me?” Her hands nervously grasped at her skirt, trying to reason with her mind and heart what exactly to tell him. “Steve is a musician I dated briefly. Nothing much came of it, because I fell in love with you. I haven’t seen him since before we got together.”

Like the jealous boyfriend he was, Tom interjected, “But you’ve talked to him!”

She sighed deeply. “Yes, I have. Just because my relationship with you turned serious, doesn’t mean my friendship with Steve ended.”

“Why are you meeting with him?”

“Tom, he wanted to meet you. I told him we were seeing each other, and he’s a fan of yours.”

Jackass was the only way to describe how he felt. He had let so much spiral out of control and it was so unnecessary. Her secret was so much smaller than his. His motives had been pure from the start, but they’d grown so far beyond that. How had he let this get so far out of his grasp? He’d been hoping that Darcy would disappear and he could address his past in his own time, his own way.

He said out loud more to himself than to her, “What’s become of us?”

“Tom, you wanted to talk, so let’s talk.”

Pulling his hands from his pockets, he picked at the skin of his palm. His fidgets betrayed his nervousness, she recognized the signs. “Kat, I’m not sure how you wanted me to handle the situation in front of the cameras.”

“Then tell me now, how you would handle it and why you haven’t? Away from the cameras, away from the press… for me…”

Tom rubbed at his goatee, he had so much to explain to her and he didn’t know where to begin. “It’s not that simple, Kat.”

Frustrated and angry, she pleaded, “If you love me, you need to tell me something.”

Like the nightmare hurricane she was, Darcy Lancaster-Hastings was there. She overheard Kat’s last statement, and couldn’t resist saying something. “Oh, Thomas, please tell me you aren’t sleeping with the help. That’s just rich!”

This was not the conversation she had signed on for. All at once, all three of them were squaring off, standing in a triangle, and sizing each other up. Tom was no longer as nervous as he had appeared before Darcy had arrived, just angry. “Darcy, this has nothing to do with you. You know nothing of my life anymore.”

Kat looked at Tom desperate to get out of the presence of a woman who had so little respect for her. “How has someone you used to date become such an unpleasant force in my life?”

The other woman laughed with little humor. “Is that what he told you? Thomas, is that what you consider our time together?”

All Tom could say was, “Don’t!”

Kat interrupted quickly, “Oh, no. Do go on. I think I deserve to know. I’ve put in the time, and earned it.”

“Oh, honey, I’m not sure you’ve earned the right,” Darcy said condescendingly. “But Tom and I were engaged. I had a ring, still do in fact.”

Kat’s eyes filled with tears at this vile woman’s statement. This was something she should have known as soon as this woman stepped into her life, maybe even before. She looked at Tom with all the hurt and betrayal she felt in her heart. Tom looked completely laid bare, all he had tried to protect Kat from was before them in the shape of Darcy.

Kat asked him, “What is the date of Darcy’s birthday?”

Completely puzzled, Tom asked why. She insisted he answer her question. “Sixteenth of June.”

She nodded, somehow knowing he would know the answer. Quietly, she asked, “When’s mine?” The look of horror that flashed over Tom’s face told her exactly what she had suspected. He didn’t know.

Despair set in and she could barely contain her emotions, but she didn’t want to cry and appear weak in front of Tom’s ex-fiance. Laying out questions she knew he couldn’t answer, Kat asked, “What’s my brother’s name? My parents’ names? Did I have pets as a kid?”

Darcy delighted in the trouble between Tom and Kat. This could only help her case in trying to get Tom back. There was something so thrilling for her. She looked to Tom, “How could you ever care for someone like that, Tom?”

With masked rage, Tom said through gritted teeth, “Katherine Temple has more heart in her pinky finger than you have in the whole of your being. It’s quite apparent that you have yet to learn the art of respect, the one thing that Katherine has extended to you, unearned, from day one. She’s been clear with you my wishes on pure imagination since you stepped back into my life uninvited.”

Kat stood absolutely frozen in the moment. Tom recognizing some of her traits touched her deeply, but only made her ache further. Why had it taken an outside person to force him to say sweet things? He had conveniently omitted his history with Darcy, even when he confessed, he hadn’t confessed all. Why couldn’t he support her when they were a couple, for her benefit and not to show up some ex-girlfriend? It all felt empty, too little too late.

Appearing unfazed by the barrage of insults hurled at her, Darcy tried another approach. She was not used to being told no and not getting her way. She stepped closer to Tom, trying to touch him. He stepped away, closer to Kat who also shifted away from him. Darcy asked, “Can’t we start over? We used to be so good together, we could get that back. You, me, and theatre…” She glanced at Kat, using her as reference. “ _She_  is not on your level, Tom.”

All Kat’s worst fears realized, because she always felt that Tom was out of her league. If she really looked at their relationship, she worked for him. How could they ever be equals?

Tom made a noise that sounded like a humorless laugh. “That may be true actually. She is a better person than me, in nearly every way. She is kind, trusting, and loyal.” Every word was another dagger to Kat’s heart, because it was all said for Darcy’s benefit.

“I meant, class. She’s not the same class as you,” Darcy informed him.

“I know what you meant, Darcy.”

Grasping at any standing ground she had, Darcy blurted out, “She’s hired help! She’s no better than a whore!”

The shock stunned all the three of them to silence, after Kat released a strangled sob. She couldn’t breathe or look at either one of them. There was a certain amount of validity to the ugly insult, and it was a nearly physical blow to the stomach. Without a thought in her head, only to flee, Kat turned on her heel, hiked up the skirt of her dress and ran. Her sobs drowned out the sound of Tom’s voice calling her name. Her feet carried away from the source of hurt, the endless heartache. Kat managed to hail a cab to take her away.

Tom seriously considered the option of smacking Darcy, despite his belief that he was not a man of violence. The insult was too offensive to ignore, and yet he couldn’t find the strength to commit to slapping her. Instead he used his height to his advantage to tower over her and diminish her bravado in some way. “Let me make myself perfectly clear. I am not now, nor will I ever be interested in pursuing any project or relationship with you in any way, shape or form. You are repulsive, mean-spirited and devoid of any redeeming qualities. That woman,” pointing off in the direction that Kat had run, “is extraordinary and deserves so much more than the deplorable, disgusting, tactless insults that you have directed at her character. Jesus, Darcy, you don’t know her. Have you learned nothing in all these years?”

If he was mistaken, Darcy appeared well and truly quieted in her defeat, if not completely shamed. Turning in the direction his girlfriend had fled and away from Darcy’s stunned expression, not wanting to entertain an answer from her, his only thought was of Kat. The realization that he might have completely destroyed his relationship with Kat hit him. The fear and the consciousness almost crippled him, but he wouldn’t give up. She meant too much and was far too dear for him to throw in the towel. In every possible way, he needed her and his ability to deserve her was being tested.

Like a man possessed, he stalked through the lobby and out of the theatre doors. He had to locate her and convince her that they were still good together despite all the secrets they’d been keeping. He needed to ensure that she was alright, and apologize for being an ass. His heart broke at the thought of Kat upset, and he wasn’t there to fix it, dry her tears, and put her back together. He ached to find her.

Lost and alone in a city she didn’t know well, Kat was shattered.


	13. Chapter 13

Choking back her sobs and her tears long enough to appear normal, Kat directed the cab driver to a Marks and Spencer for her to buy street clothes before dropping her off at a hotel. Avoiding her flat was high on her list, because the memories with Tom were within those walls. She’d spent so many hours with Tom in her flat and she feared the smell of him would still be in her sheets. His presence was so powerful that he was always there, even when he wasn’t. She also didn’t want to face him if he decided to search her out. She had to work through all her feelings on her own and in her own time.

For the first time in all the days and months she’d lived in England, she felt truly and utterly alone. She didn’t have anyone she could turn to. She didn’t really have any friends in London, more acquaintances and all she’d met from working for Tom. Certainly not one of them fit the bill of shoulder to cry on in times of crisis, and who wouldn’t encourage her to go back and talk it out with Tom. The reminder that they were supposedly seeing each other privately was also forefront in her mind. She couldn’t share the intimate details of their affair with anyone, and this only further confirmed in her head that Kat was Tom’s dirty little secret that he was ashamed to admit.

With her hiding and wallowing in her misery in a strange hotel room, Kat’s tears scorched her cheeks as a fresh new wave of emotion swept over her. In all her years as being an assistant, she, of course, knew not to fall in love with the person she was working for. Even while her feelings for Tom grew when she was first assigned to him, common sense informed her that they should never be together as a couple. She knew when he told her that they couldn’t happen that it was for the best. She could blame herself for falling in love with the wrong person as the responsible party for all that had happened.

She couldn’t think about the future and what this meant for her career. Going back to Tom seemed unfathomable, and she felt so broken, she didn’t think she could summon the energy to work at all. There were no words to describe the despair and oppressive panic that took hold of her at the thought of going back to the states. Somehow that felt like the end of her life as she knew it. No Tom, no career, no England, nothing that she recognized.

Her brain worked through their entire relationship, trying to assign fault and responsibility for how they had gotten to this point. When Tom opened up to her physically in a bath tub that first night they were intimate, Kat had completely let him in emotionally. There was some hesitation in allowing her emotions to rule her heart when she was the only one involved. Was he the one at fault because he came to her or was she the one to blame for caring for him from the start? He kept coming to her when she worked for him the first time, he sought her out.

They had been reunited because he had pushed so hard to get her back by threatening the agency. He had come to her that first night of their reunion to air their differences and be honest about their feelings. Kat was overwhelmed by the sadness she felt over her failed relationship, she couldn’t see going back to Tom. Was there something she could’ve done for her not to end up sobbing alone in a strange hotel? If she had been honest about Steve, would Tom have been honest about Darcy? Where had she gone wrong? Where had he gone wrong? They had been so close to finding something so incredibly special, and within a matter of minutes it was over.

How had they gone so far off the special? Their time in Paris and New York had been when they connected, like a couple truly in love. New York had been the first mention of Darcy though, so in her mind’s eye, there was a cloud over that time. That broke her heart even further; they’d been so open with one another, so trusting, so passionately in love. The excruciating truth of Tom’s history was a pain unequaled and unparalleled. How had he been with a woman like Darcy?

If only Tom had told her about Darcy then, maybe they wouldn’t be apart. That only brought her back to her neglecting to tell him about Steve back in Los Angeles. Her omission had come before his. Had her omission in some way triggered his? She could lay the blame on herself, but somehow his secret seemed grander than hers. Steve wasn’t really an ex, but Darcy was and had a ring to prove it.

There is only so much crying and sobbing one can do before a body is thoroughly exhausted and wrung out. Every time Kat thought she hit the end and there were no more tears, she dissolved into a whole new fit of emotion. She never knew despair like this. Her heart was broken, and she wasn’t sure it could be repaired. Loneliness had gripped her soul and wasn’t easing up.

The last conversation kept playing on an endless loop in her head, only for the horror of all of it to devastate her once more. The result was always the same: her boyfriend had withheld vital information that she should have known and she had been treated like a whore. The most depressing part of being accused of being such an atrocious label was believing it. A small part of her had feared that belief all along. True, he didn’t pay her directly for her services, but he paid for her to be at his side. Her services- the words were so ugly and caused her stomach to twist into painfully tight knots. Her body shook with the sheer terror and nerves of all those hours she spent in his passionate embrace, his body claiming hers.

Possibly the most tragic part of the entire ordeal was that in her time of need, Kat only wanted to turn to Tom and seek comfort from him. The yearning for him was a constant, and the cause for further unhappiness. She loved him deeply, but she didn’t like him for all he was putting her through. There was nobody else in London to console her except him, but he was the source of her heartache. She couldn’t turn to him when she needed him the most, and the anguish of that truth kept locked in her head.

* * * * * * *

Tom could think of nothing more than to find Kat, and console her. She had been the victim in the entire ordeal, and he could only imagine how hard she was taking it. She always offered her heart, her support and her never-wavering loyalty to him, and he’d abused that trust so thoroughly. There had been so many opportunities for him to share everything with her, and he had ignored every single one of them, too proud to admit he was wrong.

If he was truly honest with himself, Tom had taken advantage of her in nearly every way. Unintentionally though it may have been, he had. He took her for granted, all she did for him professionally and personally. How could he have done that to someone he loved and respected so much?

History had an ironic and cruel way of repeating itself. His sordid history with Darcy reflected his relationship with Kat, only the opposite. Darcy had been the manipulative one, constantly taking whatever Tom offered and then some. The truth of how poorly he had treated Kat rolled through his head, drawing parallels with how poorly Darcy had treated him. That, in no way, excused or explained his behavior because he clearly hadn’t learned his lesson.

The guilt he felt was so acute that it nearly stole his breath. He couldn’t lay any of the responsibility of what had happened on Kat, he left her in the dark. As much as he wanted to point the finger at Darcy for ruining a good thing, the fault was a burden he had to bear. The weight of that wore heavy on him, and he knew he had an uphill struggle ahead of him.

Because he had stayed behind to admonish Darcy and leave her in her place, he’d lost his opportunity to catch up with his girlfriend. Another mistake he’d chosen in the long list since he had no idea where she would run off. Tom frantically walked around Leicester Square, but it was impossible to find someone specific in the mayhem. He tried for an hour walking around the block, pacing some of the side streets, desperately looking. As he searched face after face, his brain ticked off all the places she could be, and realizing that it was impossible to know.

He didn’t try calling or texting at first, not wanting to waste the time. He wanted so desperately to find her and talk to her, read her expression, be near her. If he had been in her shoes, he wouldn’t answer those forms of communication either. For lack of a plan, he walked to his flat to check if she had retreated there.  Though a long shot, he was disappointed that he didn’t find her there. Quickly, he changed out of his suit, and into more casual attire. Tom ran to her flat next, hoping against hope that she was there, but knowing she wasn’t.

Considering no other course of action came to him other than wandering aimlessly around London, he camped outside her door. She would have to come back eventually, and he would be there for her. He was prepared to wait days if he had to, his own personal punishment for treating her as he had. Crouching against the door, he pulled out his mobile and pressed #2 on his favorites, right after voice mail. He knew she wouldn’t answer but he had to try. “Kat, darling, I’m looking for you. Please call me or let me know you are alright. Please…”

Almost immediately he sent a text to follow: ‘Darling, please tell me where you are. I’ll come to you. Please. I need to see you.’

The longer he sat and waited, the texts and voice mails became more panicked, more desperate. Every hour on the hour, he left another voice mail and another text. He paced the hallway, each minute seemingly like an eternity. His mind raced with the possibilities of where she could be, if she was safe, if she was alone, if she was crying. The thought of her grief-stricken because of him drove him mad, and he would call her again or pacing the hall with nervous energy.

Tom wasn’t sure what he would say to her if she were to appear. All he knew was he had to make it better, make it up to her. He loved her, and he would spend the rest of his life proving that fact if she asked him. “Baby, please, we need to talk. I’m so sorry. Call me please,” he begged into his cell phone once more before tapping out another text message. ‘Baby, please I need to see you. Please contact me. I miss you.’

Kat didn’t check her phone for hours after she checked into her hotel room. The phone was set to silent for the movie that she didn’t see, and she never thought to turn it back on. Her tears continued well into the early hours of the morning, before she passed out from emotional exhaustion. When she checked her phone the next morning, there were twelve text messages and twelve voice mails, all from Tom. Part of her was curious, but she was so upset she couldn’t read his messages or listen to his voice.

The voice that she loved so much, that had spent hours reading her novels, the voice that had whispered sweet nothings in her ear on flights, the voice that had spoken words of love and passion while entangled in each other. Thinking of the elegant timbre and beautiful accent only served to destroy her once more.

Eventually the sadness morphed into blinding irritation and irrational anger, taking hold of her like the hysterical crying. Angry with herself for being weak and allowing her emotions to get so tangled up with a client. It had been irresponsible and reckless. She was angry with Tom for making her feel and for not letting her do her job properly. Most of all, she was angry with the woman from Tom’s past who insinuated her presence and general unpleasantness between the couple. And she was angry with the world because she was alone and sad. Her sensibility shifted back and forth between whole and complete devastation and full on rage.

Waiting for Kat to return was Tom’s own personal form of punishment. He would only allow himself a break to grab a coffee or a snack or a trip to the loo. Knowing his luck (or lack thereof) recently in his personal life, she would return while he abandoned his post at her door. If he did give himself permission to leave, he would rush to get back as soon as humanly possible. From his years of yoga, he found restorative rest by meditating or napping against her door. The long hours and seemingly endless wait made his body ache with fatigue and bouts of stiffness. Still, he refused to give up the vigil at her apartment. Giving up on the torturous waiting would be admitting defeat with Kat and giving up on her, and he couldn’t do that, he wouldn’t. Seeing Kat and making sure she was alright was more important than his own comfort. He deserved the long agonizing wait as his penance.

After two days hiding out in her hotel room, shirking responsibility and avoiding all civilization, Kat decided she had to go back to her apartment. She had to start living again, even if it meant living on without Tom. She still couldn’t face the voice mails on her phone, the little blue chat box icon a constant form of torture and reminder that she had to live on without him. She’d ventured into the text messages, but after two, couldn’t deal with the assumed obligation she sensed from him. After the way he treated her, she could only assume it was his guilt forcing him to contact her.

With her pink gown and her purchases from Marks and Spencer slung over her arm, Kat trudged up the five flights of stairs, the task more arduous because of the emotional baggage she was carrying as well. As she reached the top, she took a deep breath, bracing herself for the barrage of memories that her flat held. The ever present thought that the last time she had climbed the stairs she’d been happily in love. The last time she had been in the hallway Tom had been in her life. The last time she had been in her apartment, she and Tom had been a couple.

She turned the corner and there he was. Looking a little worn and beat, Tom was sitting at her door. When he saw her, he immediately got to his feet and she froze in place. His clothes were rumpled, creased and wrinkled and he had a cup of coffee and nothing else. His face was paler than normal, with deep dark circles under his blue eyes, evident that he hadn’t slept well. The clean close shave of the blue carpet event was gone, in its place overgrown stubble of a five o’clock shadow along his cheeks and chin.

Unable to hide all that he felt, the worry that had been there was quickly replaced with concern, caring, embarrassment, and above all else undying hope. He was relieved to see her, but could see the events of the two days before bore down on her like the weight of the world. She was hurting, he could tell, and that fact tore through him like a hot poker. He was responsible for that, and the pain of liability was difficult to carry.

But he was there to prove how much he loved her, and he was prepared to beg for another chance. Another opportunity was all he wanted to show her that he was the man she’d fallen for and he could be everything she wanted him to be. Yes, he had gotten it wrong the first time around, but if he was awarded the gift of another chance, he would do it right.

Kat’s emotions, already so close to the surface, threatened to make her flee. She wanted to run and hide all over again, because she didn’t want to feel the sadness and the hurt and the betrayal, the anger and the rage. She was tired of feeling, and with Tom before her, she was choking on distress. He opened his mouth to say something, but she held up her hand to stop him.

As she closed the distance between them, her keys in hand, she looked up at him. He was fidgeting with want to talk, but she couldn’t handle it. She fumbled with the door, her hands shaking from the amount of stress being in his company triggered within her. She swung the door open, threw her things inside, turned to him defiantly and simply said, “No.”


	14. Chapter 14

No. A definite declaration of rejection of anything he might say, all the emotions she was feeling, all the thoughts she was thinking. A flat out rejection of anything that had to do with him.

Tom knew, had known it was going to take time, energy and patience to convince her that they were still a good match. Knowing the obstacle of her warring emotions didn’t make his earning her trust any easier, but he was resilient in wanting her in his life in every capacity. He watched as she turned away from him into her apartment, clear that she wouldn’t hesitate to close the door in his face. His heart sank with the realization, and panic forced him to say something. Longingly, his voice full of untold misery, he simply said, “Katherine.”

His hand left his side to reach out and touch her, but he knew she would shrug him off. As quickly as the impulse to caress her had come, his instinct told him not to, and he lowered it again. Her head dropped, her chin to her chest in defeat, and she froze in place. His voice was her kryptonite, and as angry and hurt as she was, she couldn’t ignore him.

He could almost see her spirit deflate, her shoulders slouching to the sound of his voice. She was so vulnerable, and he had worn her down with all the damage he’d done. She was usually so strong, but he saw that what they were going through was not easy for her. Tom chose his words carefully for fear she’d run. “Please invite me in. I would like to talk with you, explain, and apologize if you would allow me.”

She didn’t speak, couldn’t speak. The past forty-eight hours were the hardest she’d had to endure. Giving another hour shouldn’t be as trying, considering all the heartache. Kat turned back, nodded slightly, but couldn’t look at him. She stepped aside and allowed him in, knowing she might regret the decision. She closed the door behind him and then led him into her tiny living room. There was only enough room for a three person couch, another chair, an ottoman, and her flat-screen television.

Kat wasn’t keen on sitting because her nerves were on edge. In that state, she felt better standing, finding strength in her stance even when she didn’t possess it. Following her lead, Tom stayed upright as well. Tentatively she stole a glance at his eyes, but looked away, not quite ready. She was still dreadfully embarrassed by the insult from Darcy that rung in her ear in a loop, constantly clawing at her psyche.

She folded her arms in front of her, throwing up a barrier between her and his pull on her. She was feeling insecure and defensive, and Tom couldn’t fault her feeling that way. He stood a comfortable distance from her and he was also mindful to keep clear of the doorway so she could escape if she needed. He didn’t want to make her feel any more threatened than she already did.

Softly, Tom admitted, “Kat, I know I have a lot to apologize for.” He ran his hand slowly down his torso, referring to himself. “I know I’ve hurt you terribly, and that’s so shameful. I assure you that it wasn’t my intention. I’m so sorry about Darcy.” Kat visibly flinched at the sound of her name, not wanting to hear it especially from Tom.

He continued, noting her aversion to Darcy’s name to avoid it, “In New York, when we were doing so well together, was the first time I’d heard that she was looking for me. Understandably, I didn’t want to relive that history during our time. And New York was so special for me. I should’ve been as open and honest with you. I should’ve extended you the same courtesy that week. I couldn’t anticipate that she would continue to pursue this ruse.”

There was a ringing in her ears, from the stress and adrenalin of the situation. Hearing him refer to their time in New York City tore at her heart. She’d been her happiest with him there, they were so open to each other while in her home town. Kat looked at the floor, trying to keep the tears stinging behind her eyes at bay. In a choked voice, Kat countered, “But there were other times to tell me.”

Tom nodded to himself because she still wouldn’t look at him. “Regrettably, I should have, but you were so happy. I have no excuse for my behavior, other than trying to shield you from how manipulative and nasty that woman can be.”

Kat scoffed audibly, her annoyance for this woman unparalleled. She found herself pondering how, in such a short time, Darcy had become a huge thorn in her side. Of course, Tom would have past girlfriends, but she could’ve never anticipated that the constant reminder would be as painfully irritating as this one. “I don’t need to be sheltered.”

“Oh, Kat, I know that now. My past with her is not something I’m especially proud of. It’s only because of the time that’s past that I’ve gained the perspective to understand why I was with her.” He took a deep breath, preparing to tell her everything. He found that the utterance of the truth felt more cleansing than painful, as he originally anticipated. Cathartic, he finally let go of all the negative feelings he had carried around since Kat had mentioned Darcy’s name. He continued, “Call it youth or immaturity, but she preyed on me when I was young, vulnerable and a little lost. I don’t talk about my time at RADA because of how weak I was emotionally, psychologically. I surrounded myself in doubt, and questioned my choice of career, my talent and my future. I felt inauthentic, like my voice wasn’t worth hearing. She came along at the lowest point, rejected from several roles I really wanted, my family was very broken at the time. It felt good to concentrate on another person, focus on someone else’s wants or needs. It wasn’t love, my relationship with her was dependency. She needed to feel worshipped, and I needed the focus. Her happiness was mine, but it was all so empty because it was never enough, there was always another more desirable fancy. When I started learning to find strength in myself and take pride in what I could do, what I could accomplish on my own, she resented me for becoming my own person. By that time, we had gotten engaged because that was another one of her whims. She fancied diamonds, so I gave her one. Looking back on that period of my life, I needed to go through all of it to learn who I am, but I didn’t want to show you my inadequacies. You are so strong, so sure of yourself, and when you’re not you know how to find your strength independently. You don’t need anyone.”

Kat, annoyed that it had taken this long to get the story, wasn’t about to let go of her anger. Her voice registered with hurt and hostility. Her brown eyes spoke volumes of how deeply she felt betrayed. “You should’ve just told me all of this.”

Tom agreed wholeheartedly, “You’re right. Let me say that I didn’t want to bring up that history after we’d been together so intimately. In my way, I wanted to keep that separate. We were so honest, so unburdened, and I felt that connection with you strongly. I was too proud to admit my past, that was misguided because of how open we had been.”

“You’re only truly honest with me when we’re having sex,” the truth of it stung even as she said it out loud.

“Kat, no, please don’t think that. I’ve handled things poorly with you, I admit that.”

She interrupted suddenly, tears filling her eyes, “What that woman said was true!”

Her meaning was clear in the silent room, the word hung in the air like an outdated chandelier. The tension between them was at the breaking point, and Kat could no longer hold onto the sob in her throat. Seeing her like that was his undoing, his eyes filled with unshed tears. He tried to step towards her, to comfort her, but she only stepped away. “Katherine, no. That isn’t true!”

They both knew that the truth was he had never really committed to their relationship, and he’d never been fair to her. He hadn’t taken the time or put in the energy to get to know her. The focus had always been on him, because of his career. In a way he gave himself a pass because she was his assistant.  

Hot, fresh tears tracked down her face, the anguish was still so fresh. This hadn’t been what she wanted, and had tried to avoid when she saw him at her door. Accusingly, she announced, “You’ve broken my spirit.”

Unchecked, he let the tears flow, unable to keep them in check anymore. “I’m so sorry. I know that isn’t going to fix you or your heart, but I want to try to make up it up to you. Don’t give up on me.”

Kat shook her head. “You can’t love me as I have loved you.”

“I can! I never realized how much I took advantage of you. You’ve dedicated yourself so completely to me both personally and professionally, and your unending support has been a source of pride for me. And in very many ways, I’ve taken you for granted because you have to be with me professionally. I haven’t been as attentive, as committed, or as honest as I should. But I can be, because as much as you don’t believe it, I do love you.”

“You don’t! You don’t even know when my birthday is!” The tears were falling unbidden.

“Katherine, look at me for a moment.” She looked at him, the hurt overwhelming. “Not to diminish the fact that I should know your birthday, your family and all of the things and people who have influenced who you are, I don’t need to know a date to love you. I have been remiss in learning where you’ve come from, and all the little details. But your birthday doesn’t determine your heart and your soul. Your motivation and the way you strive to do your job well. Your quick wit to make any situation fun. Your intelligence, your spirit, your zest for life and knowledge. Your excitement for another new adventure. That’s who you are, and that’s what I love. You are so strong and so fearless, and you never let me forget how much you love me.”

Long moments passed, both of them trying to reign in the emotions. Unbalanced by his admissions, she hadn’t been prepared for his words. Before that moment, she didn’t know all the reasons he loved her, but all at once she understood. He had a way of saying so that she knew, despite everything, that he did truly love her. Her anger abated slightly in the face of everything he’d said.

Tom took the moments of silence between them to let all the reasons he loved her sink in with her and regain some of his footing. She could never know how much she truly meant to him, but he also hadn’t been as dedicated in showing her. Admitting all his wrong-doings was the first step of many to try to win her trust and her heart once more.

Wiping tears with the heel of hand, Tom continued, “I’m so sorry that I didn’t tell you about my ex. I’m so sorry that I haven’t learned all I can about you. I’m so sorry that I haven’t been the boyfriend that you deserve. I’m so sorry that I let my personal history threaten your career and your reputation. But most of all, I’m sorry that I made you feel less than all the amazing and spectacular things that you are.”

Taking another moment, he breathed in and blurted out, “I love you so much. And I want us to have a future, if you will have me. Will you please forgive me?”

Kat couldn’t process all he had said, but she was encouraged that he had laid everything before them. She wasn’t prepared to let go of the rage and sadness that an outside force had pushed the information out of him. She would’ve preferred that he talk to her and trust her before someone else had come between them. She wasn’t entirely sure she could forgive him, and she certainly couldn’t see a future for them. She had already, despite the repulsive nature, mentally put herself back on a plane to New York City.

Sensing her doubt, how overwhelmed she was, and how much she wanted to disappear, Tom got to his knees in front of her, placing his hands on her hips. Even on his knees he was incredibly tall and reached her chin. This was a show of equality, in the only way he knew how, to make himself shorter and smaller for her sake. Make her feel stronger and show her that the decision was hers. She held their fate in her hands, and he could only hope that she would choose him. She looked down at him, not completely understanding what he was doing there.

Kat wanted him, of course she did, but she wasn’t sure if she could let go and forgive. Despite the trauma they had been through of his making, she still cared for him and loved him as much as she had before. She was still shaking like a leaf, the stress and tension overcoming her. Uncomfortable with wrestling with the decision, she shook her head. “I don’t think I can.”

Tom requested sadly, “Tell me that you still love me, Kat… please.”

Kat admitted reluctantly, “I still love you, Tom. I don’t know that I can forgive you.”

Tom, in his desperation to keep this woman in his life, suggested, “Then let me convince you. Let me earn your trust again.” He wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around her and chase away all the negativity that had come between them. He wanted them back, the way they had once been. It was too big a step just yet, but he wanted to persuade her.

He was wearing her down, but her pride wouldn’t let her completely give in. Could she trust that he wouldn’t do similar things in the future? She’d already come to terms with living without him, as much as the thought pained her. She’d spent two days in a hotel room alone to get there. She whispered desperately, “I can’t.”

Choked with sadness, he continued, “Please. You are my heart. I need you in my life, and I’m sorry I didn’t see it before. Please.” The desire to wipe his tears from his face gripped her, but she fought the urge.

She shook her head, somehow clinging to the notion that she should stay mad at him. “I think I want to go home.”

“Oh God, Kat… you can’t leave me. Please forgive me.” He could read in her hesitancy that she was about to give in. He tried a different way. “Tell me to leave, if you truly want to give up on us as a couple.”

She nearly doubled over in sobs, the truth was she couldn’t tell him point blank. Truth of the matter was she couldn’t handle either scenario. Pursuing this idea, Tom said, “If you want me to leave, I’ll go.” He reached up and wiped away her tears tenderly.

Smiling sadly through the tears, she admitted, “I can’t.”

“Kat, I don’t think you have it in you to leave me and you can’t tell me to leave you. I don’t want to lose you, and I don’t think you want to lose me. So let me make it up to you. Allow me another chance to get to know you and love you properly, the way I should’ve the first time. I won’t let you down this time.”

She clung to her silence, unsure how to admit that she wanted that more than anything else.

Tom finally whispered, “Stay with me.”


	15. Chapter 15

Tom finally whispered, “Stay with me.”

The words floated on the air between them. A reminder of their history together, a command born of repressed attraction between two people, and a request for more time, always more time. Kat, anxious to hold onto something, repeated the words silently, tasting the words on her lips and tongue amongst her salty tears. Her mind worked each syllable through, flashing through the hours they had spent together.

She looked at Tom, still on his knees in front of her, trying to decide which would heal her heart quicker: to make the planned clean break now or risk the possibility of another shattered heart later. Tom could see her playing out the outcomes, weighing the options. Softly he slid his hand to her belly, relating all he could muster in a touch. With all the earnestness and zealousness he possessed, Tom declared, “I love you, Katherine.” His icy blue eyes bore into hers, needing her to understand the depth of his emotion.

Kat eased down to her knees, joining him on the floor. Reservedly she touched his chest, her mind and heart warring for supremacy, laboring for a decision. Tom nearly held his breath, trying to read her face, her eyes, and her body language for some indication of her intentions.

Tentatively, she told him, “I love you too. Promise you won’t hurt me again.”

He cupped her face gently between his huge hands. “Baby, are you agreeing to give me another chance? Please tell me you are giving me another chance.” Imploringly, he searched her eyes frantically.

Hesitating momentarily, Kat met his eyes, her hands covering his by her face. She nodded almost imperceptibly. But Tom saw the confirmation, and he felt it. His heart nearly melted, the relief indescribable. He pulled her into his arms, crushing her into his chest as if he would never let her go, his hands splayed possessively over her back, his chin resting on the top of her head. The squeeze happened so fast that her hands were caught between his body and hers. She pressed her cheek to the wall of his chest above his heart and listened to the steady beat. Her tears were now a mixture of happiness and trepidation. Kat was confident that she wanted to be with him, but less so about what others would think of their union and their future together. Determined and steadfast, Tom held her close, wanting to make her feel worshipped and care for. His tears shifted from fear of rejection to tears of relief. He kissed the top of her head tenderly.

The reunited couple stayed where they were for a long time, letting the strain and the negativity dispel and fall away. Tom was the first to make a move to get to his feet and helped Kat get to hers. He wrapped his arms around her once more, attempting to repair and erase the damage between them. The sense of calm they had wanted was finally settling between them, the stress melting away as they held each other. There was no pressure to speak, their emotions were clear enough. Kat felt safe for the first time in days within the circle of his arms.

They were both drained and exhausted from the emotions of the past few hours. Kat tried stifling a yawn by pressing her face into Tom’s chest. An involuntary squeak escaped her throat, alerting him of her tiredness. She wasn’t ready to let go, to admit defeat and allow Tom to leave. He laughed lightly, “Darling, am I keeping you awake?”

Pulling back, she looked up at him, smiling ruefully. “I’m drained, but I don’t want you to go.”

His heart swelled at her admission, touched by her small confession more than he should admit. “As long as you will have me, I am here.”

“Well, I’ll keep you as long as you take a shower,” she teased.

“Baby, I spent two days sitting in your hallway, one that I’m sure Satan himself constructed. Can you blame me?”

Kat rolled her eyes at him. “What a lovely compliment. Charming… A woman always wants to hear that she’s responsible for that.” She held her nose comically.

“Alright. Are you going to poke fun all night or grant me permission to use your shower?”

Winking at him, Kat said, “I could do both, definitely both.”

Tom excused himself to the bathroom, taking full advantage of the warm water and her spare soap that she kept on hand for him. As his assistant, she kept some of his clothes in her apartment for emergencies, like auditions or interviews, as well as a toothbrush, a razor, and some other essentials. He showered, shaved and dressed again as quickly as possible to get back to Kat.

She was curled up on her bed, fast asleep, her breathing slow and even, the stress of earlier completely erased, one hand under her cheek as she slept on her side. He couldn’t help but watch for a few moments, relishing the fact that this woman had allowed him to stay in her life after all he had put her through. He considered himself lucky to have her, and counted his blessings since he’d taken them for granted.

The lights were turned off before he climbed onto the mattress with her. As he had so often before, he spooned her from behind, to keep her close and let her feel safe and loved.

*  *  *  *  *

Kat woke to a brilliant sunshine through her bedroom window and the aroma of cooking eggs and sausage. Tom knew her aversion to any other eggs, and had come to substitute scrambled for poached in his full English breakfast. If the bright golden sunbeams were any kind of sign or indication, she felt a sense of new beginning. She was starting over with Tom, and she was encouraged by his enthusiasm for giving himself over to her again. She’d woken in the middle of the night briefly and she was pleasantly surprised that he was curled up with her.

She sat up in bed, taking in her surroundings and she stretched, awakening her limbs. Her phone and iPad were missing from her nightstand where she left them. She knew Tom had hidden them, so she wouldn’t be sucked into work, as he’d done it before. As a substitute, there was a note scrolled in Tom’s handwriting on the wooden table-top. The handwritten note read:

_Darling,_

_I woke very early to get in a run and collect some things from my apartment. I hope you were able to get some rest, I couldn’t bear to wake you. I have burgled your keys to let myself back into your flat. I will return shortly, if you wake while I am gone. Stay in bed, I have surprises._

_I love you._

_Yours,_

_Tom_

She was pleasantly surprised to find a yellow sticky note on the door to her bathroom. This one read: ‘ _I’m thinking of you. –T’_

There was yet another yellow stick note on the mirror above her sink.  _‘Still thinking of you. –T’_

She collected each of the notes and stowed them in her nightstand drawer for review later when she needed a boost.

Kat entered her kitchen, smiling widely as Tom was running the electric kettle to make tea and cooking on her poor excuse for a stove. This had become a regular occurrence, Tom cooking breakfast. Kat didn’t fancy herself a cook by any stretch of the definition. She was excellent at helping, taking instruction, ordering Chinese, and cleaning up afterwards.

The flat that Kat had rented for her stay in London was tiny as she didn’t require a lot of space. Since square footage was limited, she didn’t have a table and chairs to speak of or a dining room for that matter. In its place was a two person bar counter area with tall wooden stools. In all his thoughtfulness, Tom had decorated it with a table cloth and candles. A breakfast by candlelight, Kat was delighted with the unconventional gesture and thought it extraordinarily romantic.

Tom sensed her in the room and turned to kiss her sweetly on the cheek. He looked so proud of himself, yet at the same time appeared so eager to please. He greeted happily, “Good morning, my love. How did you sleep?”

“Lovely. Thank you. How do you do all this?” she asked gesturing to all the preparations.

“Very expensive classes and my mum would beat me within an inch of my life if I hadn’t retained a bit.”

Laughing, Kat nodded. “Fair enough. The only thing that came out of my home economics class was a square pillow that I made, and not a good one.” Kat set out to make the two cups of tea and put the bread down in the toaster.

“Surprising. Your personality seems suited for the detail oriented tasks in cooking.”

She shook her head as she set the tea cups on the counter and Tom plated the food. “I could never get out of my own way to actually create anything edible. I’m too technical, I think. I like rules and guidelines and boundaries. I did well in mathematics and science.”

The couple settled into their stools after Kat pulled the toast out of the appliance, and added it them to their plates. Tom asked, “Where did your love of literature come from? Doesn’t fit in with technical brain…”

“Mrs. Storm, my favorite professor. She was my history teacher, but somehow inspired so much more, like imagination and reading. She would show us the parallels between the facts versus the fiction. She would compare her syllabus with the English professor to try to overlap, make it easier for the students. She would encourage us to read, know the fictional versions to make learning the facts easier.”

Over breakfast and tea, Kat sailed into more about her schooling. “After that class, I started looking for must-read books list. By the time I hit Dickens, I was obsessed with London.”

“You were destined to come here then?”

She nodded enthusiastically, and continued, “How life works sometimes is crazy. I answered an ad for a summer job as a personal assistant to pay my way for spring break in London.”

Tom interjected, “Very resourceful. Ambitious and insanely brave.”

“I think of myself as independent, so I did what I wanted.”

“I’m not going to disagree with that,” he agreed. “Did you know that was your career path then?” He was reluctant to remind her that she was still, technically, working for him, but he was so engrossed in learning about her. She was talking and he didn’t want to discourage that in any way. They would have to address how their arrangement would work eventually.

Kat emphatically exclaimed, “Yes. Nine years! I can’t believe it. I fell into this job by accident and it stuck.”

“Amazing achievement, darling.”

Kat countered, “Frightening too. Traveling around at a young age without your family and friends, for the support. I was independent, but that can be lonely as well. I didn’t always get along with the talent.” She was nervous about sharing that tidbit, considering where they were and what they had been through over the past week. However scary the sharing was, she was encouraged that they were actually talking.

So much of their relationship had been rooted in the physical; the fresh, new talking angle was enlightening. She felt free of the negative energy that had plagued so much of their dating, if it could be consider dating. Shedding the nervousness surrounding the things they were scared to share felt liberating.

Tom got up as they finished their breakfasts, to clean up the dishes. Kat watched for the moment, amazed that this man had chosen her and was fighting to keep her in his life. Confused, Kat asked, “Exactly how long have you been awake?” A very toothy grin and a shrug was the response. “You’ve been for a run and a shower, and exactly how much did you bring from your home to mine? How did you do all this?”

Because Kat didn’t cook or spend much time in her flat, she never kept food in the refrigerator or plates or pots and pans. This date required a lot more thought than she’d originally given him credit for. He brought all the food, the pans to cook in, the plates to eat off of, and the candles and the atmosphere. He’d made a really romantic and intimate date, Kat was touched.

Tom looked bashful before telling her, “I wanted to do something special for you. You deserve to be romanced, treated like a princess.”

With all the pans and plates in the sink for cleaning, Kat took his hand and lead him to the living room to talk. The couple settled into the couch next to one another, fully aware of their last time they were together on a couch. They’d been in Tom’s flat, kissing and still together, with an incredible row in front of them. The memory flooded back and clouded the air, and immediately caused some tension between them, a reminder that they were starting over. For the most part, both of them moved towards reconciliation, but they were bound to remember where they came from.

Kat briefly questioned her decision to invite him back into her life. She loved him and love sometimes led to a broken heart. She wanted to have faith, have confidence that he wouldn’t hurt her and they would find a way to make their relationship work. Making the conscious effort to embrace their new relationship and face the topics they had so often avoided, Kat nervously announced, “We need to come to some kind of resolution on the assistant-talent thing.” She indicated herself when she said assistant and him when talent was spoken.  

Tom audibly inhaled, trying to quell his unease. He nodded, “We do, I know.”

In a rush, Kat explained, “I’m loathe to discuss it, because I never thought this would be an issue in my life. I hate that it has become so… I don’t wish to feel like or anyone to perceive me as a hired mistress, especially you.”

Tom made an involuntary sound in his chest at the mention of the unpleasant moniker. He protested, “I could never think that of you, darling.”

Sadly, she mentioned, “However, by your own admission, you’ve taken advantage of me.”

Tom visibly cringed, hating how poorly he had treated her. Regrettably he didn’t have further explanation for his actions, and he didn’t want to shrink from the responsibility of it. “To my shame and repulsion, I have. Might I suggest a clear division of career and personal, if we can? I fear that I have very much confused your roles in my life.”

“I would say that I have as well.”

Tom admitted emphatically, “I want you to stay on as my assistant, because you are incredibly good at what you do. Daily, while here in London, the separation will be possible. I think we may need to revisit this while on location. If we appear romantically involved publicly, we will need to come up with another solution.”

Feeling relieved, Kat nodded. “I can live with that.”

“Excellent. I’ve given you the week off as my assistant through the agency already, effective this morning. I wanted to give us the best chance, to be together with no outside pressures or influences. I hope you don’t mind my interfering,” Tom offered.

“Really? That’s an incredible abuse of power and very sweet.”

“Relieved that you think so.”

Tom took the opportunity to tell her about his last trip to India to spend time with his sister and brother in law. They had something in common in their love of travel and learning about new cultures.

Kat expressed her desire to see something so exotic. “As a kid, I did all the normal parent vacations to Florida, Texas and some other states. When I was 17, after my parents’ divorce, my mother took my brother and I on a road trip across the country.”

Thoroughly impressed, Tom exclaimed, “Wow! How long did that take?”

“A month. Thirty days in a van with nobody to talk to but my mother and my brother. I was 17, right before college, and all I wanted to do was spend the summer with my high school friends.”

Tom had never experienced anything like that, and was engrossed in her story. The more he learned about her the more aspects he found fascinating about her. He genuinely wanted to learn more about her, she was so intelligent and had experienced so much.  “That’s invaluable experience actually,” he commented.

“My mother thought so, at the time. I certainly think so now, but dealing with Christian at ten years old in confined spaces isn’t something I would call invaluable,” she joked casually.

“Ah! Sibling rivalry?”

Kat paused for a few moments, considering her sordid history with her brother. “I think it was just our age difference. We were never close,” she trailed off. Tom noted a look of pain crossed over her features, making a mental note to discuss with her at another time. She didn’t look ready to share the painful memories. Kat changed the topic off Christian, and back to traveling. “I was lucky. I got to learn things and see a lot of the country that none of my friends ever got to experience. Looking back on it, that trip probably awakened my adventurous nature. I would’ve never become an assistant if I hadn’t been willing to travel.”

She continued her story of the places she had visited and things she’d done on her cross-country road trip. Tom did all he knew to engage her further, since so often she rarely expanded on her own life. He then shared holidays he enjoyed with his family to Scotland, with his parents and his sisters until his parents’ marriage had dissolved.

Kat and Tom talked for hours without stopping, one subject leading to another, both sharing equally. They were both encouraged that they were getting along, despite all the negativity surrounding their reason for talking. The couple remained locked in her apartment for the remainder of the day, ordering soup and sandwiches for lunch and pizza for dinner.

Around nine, Tom cryptically claimed that he had stuff to take care of while his assistant was off for the week. He wouldn’t elaborate any further, only winked to let her know the plan was for her. She walked him to the door after helping him wash and pack all the kitchen things from their breakfast date.

Kat opened the door for him, wanting to keep him there. She had had so much fun that day, spending time with him with no pressure. Somehow the time and conversations created a new excitement for their dating relationship again. She smiled up at him. “Thank you so much for today, Tom!”

He took her hand in his, his thumb making small circles on her skin. “Today was wonderful, and I’m so encouraged about us.” Kat smiled, nervously. The sexual tension from earlier returning, and Tom sensed it as well.

He met her gaze. “I’m not going to kiss you, darling.”


	16. Chapter 16

“I’m not going to kiss you, darling.”

Confusion and a certain amount of hurt crossed her face. He continued, “As much as I want to, and it pains me not to, I’m not going to kiss you until I’ve earned it.” Her confusion melted into blankness before morphing into hopefulness. He explained for her benefit as much as to convince himself that he was making the correct choice, “In our history, we’ve relied so much on the physical affection without verbal communication. I don’t want to repeat our problems, and as fantastic as we are physically, I would like to break our bad habits. So I hope you’ll allow me to earn the right to kiss you again.”

Tom unconsciously held his breath, awaiting her response to his monologue and his decision. Torturous as the idea had been to form in his mind and telling her of it, he knew, in his heart, their relationship would be stronger for the slight sacrifice. Earning her trust and learning to communicate with her were high on his list of priorities. As much as he truly loved kissing her, touching her, caressing her, and making love with her, their connection would prove stronger if they learned all the important points of a strong, healthy relationship. He needed to focus on the other aspects, learn as much as he could from her, know how to love her as she deserved to be loved, and respect her above all else.

As disappointed as she was, she was touched by the gesture. He was dedicating himself to making her comfortable and erasing any of the hurt he had inflicted directly and indirectly. The range of emotions she felt in that moment were innumerable: encouraged, hopeful, disappointed, relieved, freer, loved, betrayed, confused, and lost. The tornado of conflicted feelings coursed through her mind, she couldn’t define where she landed or if she landed on one single thought.

Kat was silent for so long that Tom wanted to say something more to try to help her. He attempted to say something more, how much he still desired her, how much he still wanted her, anything to calm her fears. She held up her hand, nodding slowly. She commented hollowly, “I do understand what you’re saying. Maybe that’s a good idea.”

“Please don’t think of this as a rejection, darling,” he pleaded softly. “This is an exercise in patience for me. Where you are concerned, I’ve always run in, actions before questions. And I’ve hurt you for it, so I want to repair that. I’m asking for an incredible leap of faith and blind trust, considering all we’ve been through, but I’ll make it right this time, if you will humor me.”

Feeling as though the wind of hope that she was feeling only a few minutes before had been sucked out of the room, she asked, “Why?”

“Because I love you, Katherine, and I want you to feel secure in that knowledge.”

Absorbing the last part as much as she could, she finally said simply, “Ok.”

Tom leaned down and kissed her cheek softly before leaving her to go back to his flat. Kat closed the door after him, not wanting to watch him walk away. It was an incredible thing, how secure she felt when he was around, but as soon as he walked out, the doubt settled back in again. She knew logically that his new way of thinking was the correct way to combat her sense of betrayal, and replace those feelings with those of hope. Putting the actions into practice though, stung a little. She found her safety within his arms, so being without that was frightening and unknown territory.

There was a certain amount of appeal to his idea. The more she thought about him, the more she liked the way they were headed. New and unexplored opportunity, an exciting new beginning that she had never been offered the first time around. Kat threw herself on her soft mattress, sighing audibly and smiling to herself. She felt lighter emotionally than she had in weeks. Tom was attempting to repair the damage in their relationship, and in his way he was fighting for them. He listened and had heard. Her worst fear was being called a prostitute again, and he was proving sensitive to that.

His refusal to kiss her and delve back into their physical connection, only increased her desire for him and feel giddy and excited by them as a couple. She couldn’t stop smiling or thinking of him. She couldn’t wait to be in his company again.

Inevitably, the doubt crept back into her psyche with Tom gone and she was alone. Despite having his notes from that morning at her fingertips, she realized that she didn’t question his feelings for her. She, in her position as his employee, didn’t want to reflect poorly on him, and Kat felt that because she worked for him, others might think negatively of him. The limited contact that she had with Darcy Lancaster-Hastings soured her viewpoint of the world. Would everyone else accept her as Tom’s lover or as Tom’s whore?

Coworkers get romantically involved in the real world, so why couldn’t she be with Tom? She knew that his life, as much as it could be, was under a microscope, scrutinized by directors, producers, fans, his peers and paparazzi. She worried that her position would reflect badly on him, and she wouldn’t be accepted. If others thought negatively of her, that could influence how Tom felt for her, in the end.

She was making herself crazy with the concerns over what-ifs that may never happen, and her constant waffling back and forth between the opposing ideas. Others may not question her relationship with Tom at all, as Darcy had. She could be spared the heartbreak and the insults in the future, because Tom cared for her. He may not know her history, but he knew who she was and what she was about. If only she would allow her brain to turn off…

As she was turning off her lights to try and sleep, her cell phone sounded with an incoming call. Tom could hear her hesitant giddiness in her voice, “Yes?”

He greeted, “Hi, baby!” Leaving her the way he had was bound to reawaken her cautions and poke at the wounds he caused. When she was alone, her self-doubt reared its ugly head, and he knew that. He had to call her to reassure her, knowing full well that her brain wouldn’t give her a moment’s rest.

“Hello, love.”

Tom lowered himself into his living room chair because his woman was sexy as hell over the phone. Reverently, he said, “I needed to hear your voice again. I miss you powerfully and I wanted you to know.”

Glancing at the clock, Kat reminded him, “You left less than an hour ago.”

“I can’t help but miss you, baby. I didn’t want to leave your side but I had some things to get in order here. May I ask if you are free tomorrow? I was ringing to ask you for a date.”

Kat pulled up her schedule on her iPad recovered from a drawer in the kitchen where Tom had hidden it. She spent Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays on the soap set with her other assignment, so the next day she was attending to her little actress. Her days were abbreviated with the soap actress to keep her evenings free for appearances and events with Tom. The agency had already updated her schedule to reflect her time off from HIDDLESTONUK. A small lump formed in her throat unexpectedly despite knowing that her time off from him was a good thing.

Turning off her tablet and turning it over to look at the Jane Eyre passage once more, Kat said into her mobile phone, “What did you have in mind, Mr. Hiddleston?” The tone of her voice suggested flirty, but there was an underlying darkness that he was responsible for. She ran her finger over each letter of Bronte’s words, wanting so much to be swept up in the infatuation of romance. She desperately clung to hope of genuine reconciliation like a drowning person to a life raft.

“I would like you take you to dinner and then the cinema.”

Playfully, Kat teased, “How very original.”

He laughed with her. “I think we could use a little normalcy.”

The couple discussed the logistics and agreed that Tom would pick her up at her apartment at five in the afternoon. They continued their conversation for twenty minutes, Tom joking about the amount of organizing he had to do on his own. He was reluctant to let her off the phone, knowing how her thoughts tortured her, not to mention how much he enjoyed talking with her. He wondered again why he had not taken the time to get to know her.

Sure, they had found common ground in their love of literature, traveling and movies. Their conversations, prior to the start of their deeper relationship, had always centered around one of those subjects, or his career or schedule. In his way, Tom shared so much about himself because he loved to talk. His predisposition for exuberance and excitement had overshadowed her history. Her personality was rooted in fading into the background and aversion to pulling focus. In examining it, her career choice spoke volumes about how she handled interactions with others. Finding a way to temper her ways of blending into the background was the key to getting her to open up.

The next day, Kat could barely concentrate at work, all energy and thought for her date with Tom. She was nervous, scared and anxious, wanting so much for their date to go well. Her fears carried her through the hours, the clock alternating between sailing and crawling. She was jumpy, and close to jumping out of her skin due to her nervous energy. She nearly called or texted Tom during the day to cancel, her head and heart in fifty different places simultaneously.

Knowing her distress about starting over and taking another chance with him, Tom sent a dozen pink roses to the studio for her around mid-day. The flowers served as a reminder of their history together and a renewal of a promise. There was a card included among the bouquet that read: ‘Baby, I love you. I’m here. Trust that. Trust me. Yours, -T’

Kat had to find a seat after reading the note before reading the simple, but perfect message again. Miraculously, she managed to subdue the tears that threatened behind her eyes. How did he anticipate her every thought and emotion? With her emotions back in check, she dug her phone out of her pocket and typed out a text to him. ‘You have an uncanny sense of my erratic emotions.’

Tom’s response came almost immediately. ‘The flowers?’

‘How are you doing that?!’

‘Baby, I know you better than you give me credit for. :-)’

Somehow that playful text and the card containing 11 words quieted her rampant thoughts doubt. She wanted to see him, to be with him, to give him the second chance that she’d promised. The hope of a true reunion and a clear path to get back to where they had been was before her, and she gladly took that step. Before leaving work to run back to her flat to prepare for their date, she sent him another text: ‘Don’t respond to this. I just wanted to tell you that I love you. And if I forget tonight, I had a lovely time.’

Tom had gotten through to her, and she was letting him know. He couldn’t help but smile as his heart swelled at the thought of her. This didn’t give him permission to fall back into old habits, in fact his responsibility became greater. She was trusting him with her heart once more, and he had to be mindful of that.

Promptly at 5, Tom knocked on the door of her flat to pick her up for their date. Although she was casually dressed, she had put some extra effort in her appearance for him. Dangly diamond earnings adorned her ears, she wore black heels when she usually wore flats and her hair was styled differently. The simple changes had an amazing effect on her apparent confidence; she carried herself differently with the slight changes. She was gorgeous without the enhancements, but Tom appreciated her efforts.

He leaned down to brush a kiss along her cheek, taking in the smell of her with a deep inhale by her hair. He spoke softly as some of her neighbors exited their flat and headed down the stairs, “You’re spectacular.”

“Thank you. You’re not so bad yourself,” taking in his dark jeans, dark shoes, and the blue button down dress shirt that complimented his eyes so well.

Kat locked her flat door behind her, shoving her keys in her pocket. As they made their way down the stairs, he asked, “Is L’Ulivo alright for dinner?”

L’Ulivo was a middle of the line Italian restaurant in the heart of Leicester Square. They had been before, before and after some of his appearances at the Odeon nearby. The food was delicious, the servicing staff acceptable and the atmosphere the right side of romantic with the golden glow of the lights and the wood paneled walls.

“Excellent,” she announced. The nervous energy she’d been harboring most of the day was unnecessary. Tom was his charmingly sweet self in the light of their new dynamic, and she marveled at his uncanny ability to make any situation comfortable.

As they stepped out into the street, Tom asked, “How was work? How are you getting on with the young one?”

“She’s a sweet one, but I never quite get over just how young she is. It’s staggering how different we are, with only 10 years separating us.”

“Do you think your cultural differences?”

“It could be… Or just general places in life. At 18, I was learning all I could, trying to expand my horizons. I think Holly is perfectly content to stay where she is for the rest of her life.”

“Do you think about the future at all?” He thought it an interesting question to keep her talking, even if the implied meaning was deeper with their connection.

They fell in step with each other in the direction of Leicester Square for their night out. Kat thoughtfully replied, “I do. I’d like to eventually be my own boss, or save enough money to not have to work anymore. The constant travelling has been brutal, and I’d like to not be required to do it anymore. I love going to new places and learn new cultures, but considering the pace at which we visit, I don’t have the opportunity.”

Tom, to keep from touching her in some way and scaring her, hid his hands in his pockets, attempting to distract himself. His impulse always erred on the side of tactile, some kind of physical contact, with friends, family and lovers. Concentrating on her words and her needs, Tom asked, “Do you have any secret ambitions?”

She giggled softly, “If I told you, they wouldn’t be secret.” She poked his shoulder any with hers. “Without a plan or any practical applications, I would like to have my own agency. I don’t have the first idea how to start a business like that.”

“There are always more actors that need assistants. You could learn.”

 Shrugging uncertainly, she said, “I never thought about it with any certainty.”

Tom kept her talking as they strolled to the restaurant, keeping his head down to avoid being spotted. He hoped that this night, of all nights, went well, for her sake. They arrived at the restaurant without incident and the hostess showed them to a table in the back after he requested it. Tom ordered a Jameson whiskey while Kat ordered an Amaretto.

Their conversation over dinner was easy and unhurried. He learned more about her childhood and her teenage years. He recognized that she was avoided talking about her family and noticed the signs of dysfunction. As an independent woman, she had learned to live without them, finding her own path separate from her family. He remembered that she’d remained in England during the holidays, not requesting a day for the American Thanksgiving. He couldn’t recollect what she said she did for Christmas, if she had at all, but he knew that she spent that in London as well.

After a pleasant dinner with two drinks each and pudding after, they walked to the Empire to catch an early evening showing of Snow White and the Huntsman. They found seats towards the back of the theatre to remain in hiding. As Kat settled in her chosen seat, she shivered in the chill of the early June air-conditioning. She had gotten in the habit of bringing a sweater with her, but had forgotten in the excitement of this night and its implications.

Without a word, Tom wrapped his right arm around her shoulders. He had been looking for any reason to touch her, anything to be closer to her. Kat found some comfort in the contact, her skin tingled with the awareness of him. As the lights lowered for the start of the film, Tom kissed her temple tenderly. She placed her left arm on the armrest between them as an offer for further contact. The clues weren’t lost on him, but he didn’t pursue that intimacy yet.

The undeniable attraction between them had returned, and Tom discovered as the movie went on that he was going to have a difficult task in not kissing her. He wanted to watch his friend in the film, but he couldn’t focus on anything but the woman next to him. He whispered endless words of adoration in her ear, successfully distracting her from the film.

Midway through the movie, Tom brushed his fingers along the length of her arm. The barely there caress with indistinct patterns along her skin nearly drove her to tackle him to the floor to have her wicked way with him. The sensual touches along her wrist especially sent a shiver of electricity down her spine and awakened every pore with desire. The cool air was no longer a concern, as he had warmed her so thoroughly.

At the conclusion of the film, the couple vacated their seats and filed out with the crowd back out into the Leicester Square. The night was cool as early summer nights can be. The sky littered with stars was relatively clear with only a few ominous heavy grey clouds against the dark backdrop of evening. Kat glanced over the Odeon a few feet away, remembering why she and Tom were out that evening. The Odeon had been where the showdown with Darcy took place, and Kat remembered all too clearly Darcy’s final withering insult. She pulled her hand from Tom’s and crossed her arms over her chest.

He caught her look in the general direction of the Odeon, felt her hand leave his, and cursed internally. A woman’s mind worked differently from men. Emotional associations were easily made with places and people. He was foolish in bringing her anywhere near where she could connect their time together with anything that had to do his history with Darcy.

Tom led her away from the movie theatres with a hand at the small of her back. He suggested, “Let me show you my favorite place in all of London before I take you home.”

She nodded silently. He felt her distance and her doubt in her quietness. He was losing her again to her thoughts. After a few blocks towards Trafalgar Square, he slipped his hand in hers once more. She directed her gaze to his. Recalling his words from the note he wrote earlier that day, he said, “Trust us. Trust  _me_.” He squeezed her hand tenderly, fighting to get her back. “Don’t give up on me yet.”

Kat sighed. “I’m not. I just wasn’t prepared…”

“I know you weren’t and I’m sorry.” The couple walked towards the Thames River, to the Embankment. In the evening, London was as impressive as it was during the day. The city lights added a certain charm and allure that the daylight didn’t provide. Along the riverside, facing the impressive expanse of the London Aquarium and the London Eye across the water, and Big Ben to their right. There were a few low boats tied up along the embankment for tourists, the tours ended for the day.

Tom announced, “This is it. My favorite place in London. I do my running along here in the morning. To me, this is the heart of the city.”

They stood in companionable silence for a few minutes, letting the tension both emotional and sexual, and float away on the breeze off the water. Their fingers laced together as she began to relax again with him, and remember that she loved him.

Tom saw her safely home after spending half an hour on the Embankment, enjoying the London evening and each other’s company despite their hiccup. Kat admitted, “I want to trust you, Tom. I want to fix us, I do. I’m unsure.”

“I know you are. Time and patience will get us there. I trust that we’ll get there and we’ll be as we were, if not better.” He bid her a good night as the gentleman he was and remained true to his promise in not kissing her. He hadn’t earned the privilege yet.


	17. Chapter 17

Wednesdays at the television studio were mostly as uneventful as most days were until wrap time. Kat was cataloging her feelings from the night before and how she could shake the doubt that plagued her. Her date with Tom to dinner and the movie would’ve been perfect without the reminder of their issues as a couple, and she couldn’t shake it. She was trying to stay with him and trying to trust him, but she was impatient. Her frustration was with herself more than anything else. Time was what they needed, she knew that logically, but her heart longed for the fix to be instantaneous.

During the day, Tom had been as attentive as he could be, sending emails and texts to let her know that he was thinking of her. He sent her a screenshot of his tweet for that day: ‘Song of the Day: “Just Breathe”, by Pearl Jam. Jun 06, 2012’ Kat wasn’t familiar with the lyrics, and Tom knew that. He sent her two back to back texts, quoting the song.

‘Stay with me… Let’s just breathe.’

‘Stay with me… You’re all I see.’

Involuntarily a squeak escaped her throat with each one. Those words were their history, and he never forgot her first words to him after being together intimately the first time. Somehow the phrase had become theirs, a way to recall what they meant to each other. In that moment, Kat decided to let go of the gloom and embrace the hope. She sent a text back: ‘I miss you.’

Tom was waiting patiently for the open door again, and that was his sign. He asked her if he could pick her up from work for another date that night. Kat agreed, looking forward to being with him again. She wanted to erase the bad, and move on. The most important emotion she had to hold onto was that she loved Tom with her entire being.

Drama on set was nothing new in the entertainment world. The next snag or disruption to production was always on the horizon, and hit Wednesday evening as Kat as gathering her things to meet Tom outside the studio. Kat always kept out of the drama and never gave any of the egos or personalities involved any attention. She had enough undesirable drama in her life to welcome any further stress to her life. When an argument between the current director, the lead actress and a producer halted the final scene of the day, Kat was securing Holly an invitation for next week’s opening of a new musical on the West End. As the loud angry voices rang through the studio, Kat escorted Holly out of the fallout, her intentions to keep Holly out of the fallout of an altercation. The most prudent idea was to avoid drawing attention, to stay out of sight in Holly’s dressing room until the battle finished.

The entire ordeal was over within twenty minutes, with the lead screaming that she quit and storming out of the studio. Kat peeked out a few minutes later to see that most of the cast and production people had scattered after that. She joked with Holly, “It wouldn’t be the business without a little show.” Holly laughed tensely. Kat, in tune with her agitation, comforted her, “Keep your head down, and don’t address the incident. Pretend like it never happened and you’ll be fine. This will blow over after the shock wears off and the diva is replaced.” Holly nodded silently as Kat shouldered her bag and pocketed her phone. “I’ll see you tomorrow. No worries.”

Kat fled the sound stage as quickly as possible. The upset on the show had little to do with Kat and didn’t put her job in danger as she worked for Holly, but she preferred not to address the situation if it could be avoided. With head down against another rainy day in London, Kat sprinted from the outside door to Tom’s waiting car. As he pulled the car away and eased into rush hour traffic, he asked after her day and how Holly was getting on. Kat, adjusting her seatbelt around her, related the news of the past 30 minutes before saying, “But it’s good to see you.” 

Taking his eyes off the road momentarily, he smiled for her. “It’s good to see you too, love.”

Kat leaned back in the seat and turned towards him, her knees facing him. He reached over the console and rested his hand on her thigh. She sighed happily, “What’s the plan for tonight?”

“Supper. Sunday night roast.”

“Sunday night roast on a Wednesday?” He nodded enthusiastically as she giggled at him. “Then what will we have when Sunday rolls around?”

He was impressed that she had referred to them as a couple and that she assumed that they would be together on Sunday. Progress from his view, and he liked it, simple tiny steps forward only encouraged him. Squeezing her thigh gently, he promised, “We’ll see when we get to Sunday.”

Picking up on the fact that he was not going the way of his flat, Kat asked, “Have you lost your way home? You missed your turning.”

“Dinner is in a surprise location this evening.”

“Ooh, the mystery… the intrigue.”

Tom winked at her as he navigated the car around a left turn. He slyly informed her, “I discovered some information about you recently. Tonight is a special occasion.”

“Did you? Google is not kind, and those shoplifting reports are highly exaggerated,” she joked good-naturedly.

Tom laughed his signature chuckle and added, “What exactly were you up to in the Jewel Tower gone 2 in the morning?”

“Hey, Queen Betty ain’t the only girl that can wear tiara, I’ll have you know! She shouldn’t be the only one with one.” Smoothly coming back to the conversation at hand, Kat inquired, “Are you going to let me in on this special occasion and what you’ve learned about me?”

“Naturally, if I told you the nature of the surprise, that would ruin the surprise, no?”

Kat feigned a pout. “Patience is a fabulous virtue, but one that I do not possess.”

Tom informed her, “Then it’s a good thing that you won’t have to wait long. Where we are going is not far. And I think you’ll like it.”

They made easy small talk for the rest of the car ride. Kat didn’t recognize the place her boyfriend pointed to when they arrived, but he parked outside a posh Chelsea townhouse. The outside was a brilliant white that confusingly appeared to have never been touched by the elements. The windows were slim and long and all equal in size. There were lights shimmering in the downstairs windows, making the house look incredibly warm and welcoming.  

Tom opened her car door for her, offered his hand to help her climb out and led her through the rain to the front door. Kat quipped, “Were you going to break down the door?”

He rolled his eyes at her and pulled keys from his pocket. “This is my mate’s place. He trusted me with it to impress my girlfriend this evening.”

“Oh? When is she arriving then?” Kat looked behind her, playing her joke out.

Tom pulled Kat into a close embrace, kissing the top of her head sweetly. “She’s here. She’s right here.” Kat wrapped her arms around his waist, and just reveled in the feeling. She didn’t realize how much she missed being so close to him; she ached for him as they pulled away once more. There was hesitation as he pulled away and she thought for sure he’d kiss her. A glance to her lips was the only hint, but as quickly as it had happened, the moment was gone.

He escorted her up one flight of stairs and then another. As they got to the landing on the third floor, he covered her eyes with one of his large hands. “This is where the surprise is.” He urged her forward slowly, carefully, one step at a time to ensure she didn’t trip or run into anything with her eyes covered. “I’ve been remiss in not learning all there is to know about you. I can only hope I’ve made strides to remedy that. I do know that your birthday is September 30, and it is a Sunday this year, we are celebrating a little early. This is to make up for the birthday that I didn’t realize I’d missed.”

Tom opened a door to a rooftop area and helped her step out. He revealed the space by removing his hand from her eyes, set up for a tiny private birthday party. Covered by a large canopy tent, framed in white twinkly lights, there were big piles of blankets and pillows for lounging. The rain made a soothing patter on the plastic overhead, and there were candles set up for lighting and the smallest fire pit Kat had ever seen. There wasn’t much of a view of London from where they were, but it didn’t matter to her, only Tom did.

Kat couldn’t form a coherent thought, touched by his thoughtfulness and his dedication to her. He could see that this was just what he needed to do to get her to see that he loved her, and that he wanted nothing more than to have her in his life. She was speechless, and he didn’t mind that she was stunned. “Dinner is warming downstairs. Do you want to light the candles and fire pit while I go fetch our plates?”

Quietly she asked, “How did you do all of this?”

He answered matter-of-factly, “Meticulously. All for you, baby.”

“Thank you. This is the best non-birthday birthday party I’ve ever had.”

He grinned like a fool, proud of what he had accomplished in a relatively short time.

Kat shook her head, trying to figure out how he had done all the small things that made up the night as a whole. “I didn’t agree to another date with you until this afternoon. How did you do all of this?”

“To be honest, some divine intervention had a hand in this.” He cupped her cheek tenderly, his thumb brushing small strokes on her silky soft skin. “When you agreed to give me another chance, I put some of these things in motion. I knew your birthday had to be in September or October, narrowed down from the information you told me about your traveling and coming to London for the first time. I called the agency and got the exact day when I couldn’t ferret the date from you without interrogation.”

She genuinely smiled up at him, “You are a sneaky one, Mr. Hiddleston.”

He giggled. “Guilty as charged.”

The couple arranged the blankets and pillows into a cozy nest and Tom got their dinner from downstairs as Kat lit all the candles and the fire pit. Their dinner was romantic under the warm glow of the soft glow of the fire. Their conversation was fluid and flirty, as it had been in the ride over. Tom could barely sit still with enthusiasm. Kat asked him suspiciously, “What else do you have up your sleeve, Hiddleston?”

“Seeing that it’s your birthday, I couldn’t resist getting you a gift,” he attempted to inform her without jumping out of his seat. He took the plates from dinner, got up and disappeared inside the house momentarily.

When he reappeared, he was carrying a small parcel, wrapped in pink paper that she suspected he didn’t wrap himself. “Tom, what did you do? You really have outdone yourself with arranging all this,” she said, gesturing to everything around her.

“I couldn’t resist this,” he said as he joined her back on the pillows and blankets. He handed her the gift as he settled into a comfortable sitting position again. “It’s not precisely what I was looking for, but I still think you’ll appreciate it.”

She met his eyes and confessed seriously, “You really didn’t have to do this. I was only your assistant then.”

He shushed her softly, for both her insisting that she didn’t need the present and for referring to herself as his assistant. They had both been so careful to keep her title out of their conversations, in light of their trying to reconnect. “I believe you needed this. Please accept it with my apologies and my affection for you.”

She leaned over and kissed his cheek, before turning her attention back to the gift. Lifting at the taped corner, she thanked him profusely before she got to the box under all the wrapping paper. The box was thin and perfectly square, just the size for a scarf, but had some weight to it. When Kat found what was inside wrapped in tissue paper, she froze. An aged slightly faded red cloth bound hardback book with gold lettering was in her hand. The Laughing Cavalier Baroness Orczy. Tom stated, “It’s a US first edition. I had hopes of finding a UK first edition of The Scarlet Pimpernel, but I was unsuccessful in the short amount of time. I thought you might appreciate one of the sequels as it was the only one I found, and I don’t know how much you care for Orczy’s other works.”

Before he could say anymore, she put the book aside and hugged him. He pulled her closer, overcome with emotion. Burying his face in her hair, he breathed in the smell of her shampoo. He missed being so close to her. He’d been so stupid and so close to losing this woman and her overwhelming capacity for understanding, forgiveness and compassion. Her gratitude was genuine and came in the most unexpected ways.

When they parted, the air between them crackled with want. Desire, longing and undeniable attraction gave them pause. Her heart hammered in her chest and echoed throughout her entire being. Her skin flushed with the blood coursing through her veins, heating her core. His self-control was weak; this self-induced punishment was unpleasant, to say the least. All he wanted was to kiss her, but he couldn’t. He still had atoning to do for the way he’d treated her. Endlessly they stared at the other’s lips, and it nearly killed him to break the silence.

He kissed the tip of his thumb and gently traced the curve of her lips. He whispered, “I wish I possessed the words to express how much I want my mouth on yours, lips caressing, your breath mingling with mine, tongues entwining.” Kat may have squeaked or she was screaming internally, she couldn’t tell. “I love you so much and I am out of my mind with craving for any kind of physical intimacy with you again. There’s no doubt in my mind that we’ll get back there, but we’re not there yet.”


	18. Chapter 18

Life is a series of moments, one defining moment that leads to the next, a choice or influence that leads to another. Call it fate or free will or a perfect combination of both. Kat stood on the precipice of such a moment in attending another red carpet event that brought her face to face with Darcy Lancaster-Hastings. She had a split second to decide her future; this was her moment to prove who she was as a person.

The events of the past two weeks and the tsunami of emotion associated with that time flashed through her mind and heart, temporarily rooting her in place and threatening to paralyze her. In a short amount of time, she’d seen the highest of highs and the lowest of lows and everything in between. All of which had led to this moment, a final confrontation with her nemesis, the most loathsome creature in her existence.

The world seemed to come to a screeching halt, the rush in her ears echoing the very sound of the planet turning on its axis. With the depth of fiery passion and love that Kat carried for Tom, she despised the woman before her with as much intensity, which frightened her. She wasn’t sure how it had happened, but Tom was behind her when she worked so hard to stay behind him at these events, to be his support. Their roles were reversed and she felt his strength as she never had before.

“Well, if it isn’t the assistant,” Darcy said softly with feigned saccharine sweetness to mask the obvious disdain. If she was surprised to see Tom behind Kat, she masked it well with practiced patience and reserve.

Kat had a choice to make. She glanced behind her quickly to ensure that Tom was still there and that he recognized the significance of this moment. Their eyes met, hers asking the question that hung between them and his acknowledging the implications of the moment. He nodded almost imperceptibly, encouraging what had to happen if his woman had the confidence. A tiny silent understanding between two lovers that no other person would comprehend. Kat saw his silent approval and she knew that she had to do it if she could summon the courage.

* * * * * *

“You were with me on your birthday, but you never requested the day off to celebrate. And I don’t recall that you ever went home to New York for Christmas holidays.” He eventually broached the subject that he suspected would be painful for her.

Kat and Tom were curled up on the bonnet of his car, perched on pillows with blankets wrapped around them. It was three days after Kat’s non-birthday celebration, and Tom had surprised her with another romantic date. After two nights in Tom’s apartment watching movies on his couch, he promised her something special. The hour drive outside of London to the open country, sitting under the stars, wrapped in each other’s arms was perfect. Like a sponge, Tom was still learning all he could about her.

“I’ve never been one for celebrating, or even been mindful of the date’s significance actually. I didn’t do anything to choose the date, so I don’t put heavy emphasis on it.”

He informed her, with no bitterness or accusation, “You raked me over the coals for not knowing.” He took a chance that they were in a better place now to actually discuss their problems openly.

“I know I did. That was more to prove a point.”

“Message received, my love.”

Kat had to share with him what was really going on, because he wasn’t completely to blame for their problems. It takes two people to communicate, and she hadn’t done her part either. She hadn’t been fair in laying the blame at his feet; that was easier than looking at a mirror.

“There are reasons I never shared myself and my history with you. It was unfair of me to hold you completely responsible for that.” She paused for a long time, attempting to figure out how to tell him everything.

Tom asked, “Do you want to tell me? Regardless of whatever the reasons, I am responsible in very many ways.”

Kat sighed. “I made you feel that way, and I never made getting to know me easy for you.”

Tom held her closer as she shivered, her history more to blame than the cold. “You don’t have to tell me if it’s too painful for you, love.”

Sitting up, she said, “No, I need tell you everything. I’ve always been independent, because I’ve had to be. My biological father left when I was only months old and I think my mother always resented me for it. My birth was the catalyst for his abandonment. I was the constant reminder of that failed relationship. When she was remarried, she started a new family, but I was always just there. My half-brother Christian came along and they doted on him. The man my mother married adopted me after my father gave up custody of me without so much as phone call. I never got to meet him. With Christian, the new man already had a child to focus on, his child, his flesh and blood. My surname is the only thing that remains of my biological father. My mother and, in turn, Christian took the new man’s last name, Stuart. So even in name, I didn’t belong there.”

She took a deep breath, centering her thoughts to move forward. Tom rubbed a hand up and down her back for support, to assure her that he was there, that he wasn’t going anywhere. She continued, “I never belonged to anyone. I think in his own way, Christian hated me for being born first. I stole his thunder in walking first, talking first- even though we were 8 years apart. But he was always better at everything, he got all the attention. He got birthday parties and presents, I rarely got a happy birthday. He got big extravagant gifts for Christmas, I got a something practical… nothing that required much thought or time to get.”

“When I got to school, I was treated the same. Girls didn’t like me because I was intelligent and organized. Boys didn’t like me because I was intimidating in my own way, singular…  I guess.” Kat’s speech began to get emotional reliving all she’d been through. Tom’s other hand found hers under the blankets, to try to offer more support. He kissed her temple to try to calm her as he listened. She continued sadly, “The only exception was my best friend Candy. I met her in college and we’ve remained close ever since. She married her high school sweetheart right after graduation and I swear she was pregnant within minutes of returning from honeymoon. They settled in upstate New York, and I think she has ten children already. She’s expecting again every time I get to speak with her. God, I miss her.”

“When graduation came around, there was nobody there for me. Candy had her family and I had Candy. I called my mother that day to find out where she was for my graduation, and she said that she forgot. She started to explain that Christian was in the middle of another accomplishment and she couldn’t get away. I couldn’t listen; I hung up on her then and I haven’t spoken to her since. Six months later Christian called to scream at me for hanging up on mom and not speaking with her since. I hung up on him too, and haven’t spoken to him either. My ‘father’ – honestly, I couldn’t tell you the last time I spoke with him or where he is, and I don’t care.”

Tears began to crawl down her face in straight lines. All the abandonment and loneliness she experienced that she’d buried for years revisited her in that moment and the tears didn’t stop. “When we got together, I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop and you’d leave me too. I got caught up on the idea that you cared for me, but I didn’t know how that was possible, nobody else has. In a way, I think I needed to disprove it, not that I really wanted to disprove it.” Tom sensed that she was struggling to come up with the words to describe her emotional state. He bit his tongue to avoid interrupting her thought process, even though the impulse to argue that he did more than care. Kat stammered through her monologue, trying to relate everything that had happened in her life, “There’s been a pattern to the way people have treated me, and even in your way you didn’t fit, but I had to make you. Nobody’s ever fought for me. Nobody’s ever been as patient or invested in me. I don’t know how to handle that kind of attention, so I had to find to, I don’t know… self-sabotage. I was forcing you to fit the pattern. I’ve been independent for so long, because I’ve had to be. I never settled anywhere because there wasn’t a place to settle. Does any of this make sense?”

Tom tried to wipe her tears as they came. His heart broke for her; no words would make her feel better. The overwhelming helplessness watching the woman he loved emotionally, vulnerably bare made his heart ache. “I think you’ve been hurt, and you’re used to feeling the abandonment more than the sanctuary of being with someone. You’re strong because you were never allowed to be weak. You never needed anyone because there wasn’t anyone to lean on.” He pulled her protectively into his arms further, trying to console her. His guilt renewed; although she didn’t share her heartbreak willingly, he didn’t seek it either, until he nearly lost her. His behavior was similar to everyone that had come and gone in her life.

Kat didn’t cry for long, absorbing some of the strength that Tom provided. She’d cried enough in the 9 years that she didn’t need to release the sadness in that way anymore. She was stronger than that, and she didn’t want to wallow in the past. As she let the crying ease, Tom implored, “Let me be your sanctuary. Let me be the strong one. Need me as I need you. I know letting go and allowing yourself to be weak will be difficult, but I can put you back together.”

They stared into each other’s eyes for long moments, the substantial meaning of his plea not lost on either of them. He was asking to be her friend, her family, her support, her life, her everything. The truth was, however unspoken or unrealized, he already was. They were co-workers, friends, lovers and family.

Admitting that she needed him was difficult, and she took her time before telling him truly, “I do need you.” His hand found its way to her cheek, his fingertips buried in her hair. Continuing her plea, she asked, “I need to feel you. Will you kiss me please?”

One week two days since their fight at the Odeon and one week four days since they had last kissed. He couldn’t refuse her, he needed her as much as she needed him. Savoring every second, he lowered his lips to hers. Eyes slid closed in slow motion, heads tilting insignificantly, inching ever closer with delightful gradual progress. And finally, his lips were on hers sweetly. Slowly, deliberately, reverently, his mouth sipped from hers. Smooth gentle kisses elongating and gradually shifting to exaggerated caresses. Heartbeats in sync, hearts entangled, and lips inextricably meshed.

Deepening, his tongue sought the warmth of hers, easily sliding between her slightly parted lips. An exquisite low moan sounded in her ears as her tongue touched his, and she wasn’t surprised the noise came from her. Unrushed, glorious tasting of each other’s mouths, melded together passionately. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down with her as she laid back against the windscreen of his car again. The kiss deepened further, reveling, devouring, all consuming.

Reassuring him as only she knew how, Kat whispered against his lips in between kisses, “I need you.” His teeth nipped at her lower lip in between deep breaths, before claiming her mouth again thoroughly. His hands raking through her hair, crushing her to him possessively. She repeated the statement when he rested his forehead against hers as he tried to catch his breath again.

When he could breathe again, he laid back, pulling her with him, and holding her close. She rested her head on his chest and wrapped her arm around his waist. She felt closer to him than she ever had before, and her faith was renewed. Under the stars, the universe felt like the two of them and the two of them alone. She told him truly, “I love you.”

He kissed the top of her head and said, “I love you too.”

* * * * * * *

Tom, fresh off the phone with a production assistant mate of his, speed-dialed his girlfriend, desperate to talk with her. The news was not good, in light of how they were progressing as a couple and for her position in show business in London. He was worried. He could see the outcome going incredibly wrong. She could hear the news, refuse to talk to him, and put herself on a plane back to the States, never to talk to him again. He also considered that she could cry as he had too often in the past week. He wanted to try talking with her before anyone else did.

Heading out to get to her before she could get the news from another source, Tom sent a text, ‘Baby, we need to talk. Call me.’

Like the pending possible doom, clouds hung overhead, heavy with rain. He sent another text outside the Starbucks around the corner from her flat, ‘Don’t talk to anyone else before you talk with me.’

With coffees and croissants for breakfast, he sent one more text, ‘I’m on my way over. Don’t move.’

Ignoring her lack of clothing, Kat ran for the door wearing only her oversized t-shirt. She had just woken from a dead sleep by her phone vibrating nearly off her bedside table. She had one missed phone call and three texts from Tom within twenty minutes. She opened the door to Tom carrying a Starbucks bag and two coffee cups. She asked frantically, “Where’s the fire, babe?”

He kissed her quickly, “You haven’t talked to anyone yet, have you?”

“I just woke up. What’s the emergency?”

He took her hand after putting the coffees on the kitchen counter and escorted her to living room to have a chat on the couch. “You haven’t talked to anyone, or turned on the telly, or read the newspaper yet, correct?” Kat shook her head in the negative. “Small miracles…” He took a deep breath, trying calm the worry that had forced him to her flat so early. After the amazing few days that they spent together, he couldn’t stop worrying that this might go terribly. “Katherine, baby, I have some unpleasant news.”

“I figured. Is this a personal or professional crisis? Which hat am I wearing at the moment?” As of this morning, she was back from vacation and assistant for HIDDLESTONUK. She didn’t have a chance to check her schedule, but she was actually looking forward seeing his name on the calendar.

“I’m afraid it’s both. Holly’s show has found a new leading actress. They’ve cast Darcy as the new show leader in light of dramatic exit of the other one. She’s starts shooting today for a major reveal to air this week. They’re going to fit her scenes into the story as it stands now. The writers and producers have been working overtime frantically doing rewrites to do this major upset. I’m sorry, baby; I came as soon as heard.”

Kat’s initial reaction was to scream, but she knew that would do little to calm the fear and dread. Darcy’s final insult still haunted her and Tom was sensitive to that. He was doing all he could to win her trust, to ensure she never felt that way with him. He unfortunately couldn’t control how others chose to view her, especially someone who felt in competition with her. The news that Darcy was not completely out of their lives was regrettable, and couldn’t come at a worse time. He was finally wooing Kat back, and he didn’t want any further complications to their rebuilt relationship.

She had to admit that Darcy’s timing was incredibly inappropriate. How did she always show up when her relationship with Tom was getting stronger? Kat, surprisingly, wasn’t jealous of Darcy, having understood Tom’s explanation. He was a different person with her, and had matured since then. He acknowledged his mistakes and recognized how he had been manipulated. Somehow through all the madness and chaos she caused, Kat’s relationship with Tom was completely separate from his relationship with Darcy.

In reviewing and compartmentalizing her feelings, she didn’t like Darcy for her insults and her attitude. The history she shared with Tom had nothing to do with the hate she felt towards his ex-fiancée. After her non-birthday celebration and their kiss under the stars, Kat was already feeling more confident and secure in Tom’s love for her.

The level-headed, competent assistant in her rationed that this had very little to do with her. Darcy, no doubt, would make it about the non-existent triangle between them. All she had to do was spend the next two weeks on the set with Holly, before she and Tom flew back to the States for shooting his next film. “I’m alright, Tom. Everything will be fine.”

Tom cupped her cheek and looked deeply into her eyes. “Are you certain? She treated you awfully, and I can’t see her apologizing or addressing you with any level of respect. I attempted to put her in her place after she insulted you so hatefully. I can’t see that going over well with her; she will probably hold you responsible for my words.”

Kat took his hands and held them in her lap. “I know it won’t be pleasant, but I have a responsibility. It’s my job.”

“You won’t consider resigning from Holly?”

She shook her head. “I love that you are concerned for me, but Holly deserves my attention. I signed a contract with her, and I can’t back out on that.”

Tom offered, “I could buy you out of that contract.”

As deplorable as the mere idea of seeing Darcy again or sharing a conversation with her, her work ethic wouldn’t let her take the easy out. The pride she derived from her work was what she had. “I can’t do that to Holly. My career is so much a part of who I am.”

“You’re amazing, darling. I would respect either decision. Darcy was disrespectful to you; I wouldn’t think any less of you if you decided not to put yourself through that again. And I respect you so much for sticking with your responsibility to Holly. I’m sure she will appreciate your dedication.”

Beyond any reasonable doubt, Kat was a professional through and through. She had stuck with him after her denied her crush. She would’ve remained by his side after he started confusing their relationship if he had renewed her contract. She attended the Prometheus premiere with him despite being justifiably cross with him. In spite of this new obstacle, she remain the steadfast to her duty.

No amount of preparation or warning could anticipate the cold, disrespectful and scornful reception Kat received from Darcy Tuesday morning. Immediately, Darcy picked up where she had left off, greeting Kat with the moniker of whore slyly for no other living soul to hear. The assistant, in her capacity for professionalism, made no response to feed Darcy’s need for drama.

Pleasantly, Kat greeted, “Darcy, what a pleasure it is to see you again.”

“I suppose shagging your last client didn’t go well for you then,” Darcy jabbed.

Kat wasn’t going to humor this woman. Her main objective was to be as cordial as she possibly could muster, not cause a disturbance, and minimize contact. Kat didn’t feel the need to correct her since Darcy couldn’t know that Kat was still with Tom or that she was still working for him. Playing stupid, Kat said, “I won’t pretend to know what you mean.”

“I’m surprised you are employable at all through that agency. Did they not sack you for sleeping with a major movie star? It appears you’ve been demoted to an 18 year old female soap opera actress,” Darcy taunted.

As Kat walked away, the only way she knew how to stop this madness, she threw over her shoulder, “Last time I checked, you are a soap opera actress.”

Darcy’s mockery didn’t end there, she was too proud to let Kat get away with insulting her. Darcy couldn’t leave well enough alone. She surfaced one of her engagement pictures to show off to Kat, thinking that might bother her. Kat didn’t blink, refusing Darcy the pleasure she sought. The more stoic Kat was the more ruthless Darcy became. Naturally the constant nagging and belittling got to Kat, but she knew Darcy was desperately searching for the drama.  

Kat wanted to try and keep Tom out of her problems. Darcy couldn’t come between them. As bothersome as it was to have his ex-fiancée around her all the time, she tried to handle it in her own way. When doubt consumed her, she sent off a text to Tom: ‘Please tell me the real world is better than this.’

Knowing that she would need the occasional support during the day, he responded quickly, ‘Baby, how real do you want it to be surrounded by all that melodrama?’

‘Touche. Needed a little distraction, love.’

‘Is it awful? I miss you. I’ll pick you up in a few hours.’

Mercifully, Tom, being the darling that he was, dropped her off in the morning and picked her up in the evening from the studio. He supported Kat’s decision in seeing this assignment through to completion, even with the obstacle of Darcy. In his heart of hearts, he respected her more for facing the challenge head-on, instead of taking the easy way out as he had offered. She truly was the strong, independent woman he had fallen in love with, although she doubted her own worth sometimes.

Darcy didn’t let up on Kat for the duration of three solid days that Kat was on set with Holly. Darcy was careful not to do or say anything in the company of others, her vanity the utmost. She’d set a vendetta on Kat as competition for Tom’s affections and the reason he refused any part of her plan to win him back. Her ambitions to become the leading lady of London thwarted by an assistant so base and inexcusable. Infuriatingly, the fact that Kat didn’t cry or yell or scream or do anything dramatic incensed her further.

Kat was exhausted from the emotional berate and made to feel inferior, it wore her down. Every night she found her way into Tom’s arms, finding strength in his constant support and ease from the stress and tension in his embrace. In a way, Darcy was doing the exact opposite of her intent, driving Kat into his arms instead of running her out of the country. When things were exceptionally bad on set, Kat exchanged a couple of flirty texts with Tom to give her just the boost she needed to make it through the end of the day.

Relief was walking off the set Thursday not to return. Kat had her final assignment for Holly to complete her contract on Friday at the West End musical opening. Kat had secured an invitation for Tom too, his second to last London appearance for the next few months. Kat would be spending the third week in June organizing and tying up Tom’s obligations before his shooting schedule for Only Lovers Left Alive began.

* * * * * *

The West End musical opening was another red carpet event, full of media and names in London show business. Kat would be covering both Holly and Tom that night, double-duty monitoring of both, providing sharpie markers for autographs and another pair of hands for gifts, cards and letters. Kat arrived with Holly since she was inexperienced and nervous about walking the red carpet. Kat arranged to have Tom’s car arrive the same time so she could be there for both of them simultaneously.

The number of reporters and news cameras were numerous and crowded the entrance to the theatre. Assembling at the beginning of the red carpet, Holly pointed to the monitor showing the interviews of actors at the end of the red carpet. She exclaimed excitedly, “Darcy’s here!”

Tom touched the small of Kat’s back briefly, to reassure her that he was there. It was a small gesture in the midst of the chaos, away from the prying eyes of paparazzi and fans alike, a touch of intimacy that only they would understand. Kat and her talents watched Darcy’s quick interview on the monitors. Her perfectly made up self on the monitor said, “Oh, I enjoy playing Stephanie so much. She’s wicked and unapologetic in her ability to cause trouble.”

Kat whispered to Tom, “No acting required.”

Darcy continued for the cameras, “But this isn’t the only project I have going. I’ve been reconnecting with my former love and we are in the early stages of something. I met with him recently. I cannot share the details at this time, but it’s very exciting!”

A reporter, clear a plant for Darcy asked, “We saw you with Tom Hiddleston recently. Are you back together?”

Looking down slyly, playing into the camera as only Darcy could, she intimated, “A lady never shares her secrets, but let’s say I’m quite chuffed.” She winked for the camera, letting the suggestion that she would be working with Tom the last thing the audience saw.

Tom stalked down the carpet, skipping the throngs of fans and other reporters. His expression gave little away, but Kat could tell he was not happy. She fell in step with him, and suddenly she was face to face with her intended target.

“Well, if it isn’t the assistant,” Darcy said softly with feigned saccharine sweetness to mask the obvious disdain. If she was surprised to see Tom behind Kat, she masked it well with practiced patience and reserve.

Kat had a choice to make.


	19. Chapter 19

The choice was clear in that one moment, clearer than ever before. Kat had to decide between her professional ethic and her emotional heart. However, for Kat, her career and her heart were in the form on one person, Tom Hiddleston. He embodied her responsibility and the love of her life, and the gray ocean she navigated between the two when she was so invested in both. She was proud of all she had accomplished with Tom, the actor. He was a high profile case, the biggest she had ever taken on, and she had handled his schedule, his appointments, and his career with grace and poise that she doubted she possessed. His career was soaring, and in her very small way, she had helped him achieve that.

Along the way, he had won her heart in every way possible, become her friend, her family, her lover, her heart. He was her everything. He opened her up emotionally, and showed her there were different ways to love and be loved. He had taught her that knowing someone aren’t the hard facts, rather the choices they make. Being both emotionally and physically available for another person completed her in a way she never knew she was missing.

Inhaling mentally, Kat introduced herself as though she and Darcy had never met, “Katherine Temple.” Darcy ignored the proffered right hand, in her defiance to have very little to do with Kat. “We’ve met before, of course…”

Darcy scathingly remarked, “I know who you are. I’m not daft.”

Kat played off the other woman’s tone, and smiled. “Of course, I’m sorry, I did not mean to imply otherwise. You were preoccupied the last time we met; it’s to be forgiven if you had forgotten.”

“I hadn’t!”

Smiling sweetly, Kat suggested, “Perhaps you could kindly refer to me by my given name rather than my position.”

Refusing to back down from the challenge of being civil that Kat had lain down at her feet, Darcy charmingly quipped, “I will refer to you as I see fit.”

“I have no doubt. You have yet to refer to me by my name and we have worked together for a week.” Kat knew that she was treading on dangerous ground. She needed to remain respectful since her relationship with Tom and, more importantly, her self-respect hung in the balance. She was mindful of the stakes, but she also had to quell the rumors that would spread from Darcy’s lies. Tom and his career were still her first priority, above all else, protecting him and his reputation.

Slightly rankled, Darcy snipped, “That was not by my choice.” Kat couldn’t help but notice that the crowd and photographers had picked up on the tension between her and the actress and had grown quiet to listen. Granted this wasn’t the time or place for an altercation, but Kat needed clear Tom from anything attached to this vile woman. The constant flashes from the cameras were unnerving and unwanted.

Kat furrowed her brow slightly, displaying confusion, “Should I be expecting a call from your assistant then?”

Unbalanced by the question, Darcy looked momentarily perplexed. “I don’t have an assistant. I can handle my own affairs.”

Kat nodded, noting the scoffs from both Holly and Tom. “I don’t understand. How are you in the early stages of a project with Mr. Hiddleston if you don’t have any scheduled meetings with him?”

Darcy sneered at the assistant, picking up on the fact that the woman had referred to him so formally. Her ire aroused the more Kat spoke. “I didn’t know you were still employed by Mr. Hiddleston.”

Kat interrupted before Darcy could make any further pronouncements in regards to Tom and Kat’s relationship with him. “I am. I have to say I’m surprised you don’t know that, if you are in fact working with him again, as you’ve implied.”

Darcy looked as cornered as she felt. The hired help was calling her out in front of the press. “You couldn’t possibly know what he does at all times.”

“You may not have an assistant, but you are aware of what they do. Any scheduling has to be cleared through me when it comes to Mr. Hiddleston’s interviews, meetings and appointments to avoid conflicts,” Kat said calmly.

Darcy fake smile faded, her forced friendly demeanor slipping. She couldn’t believe that the hired help was calling her out. Wildly Darcy asked accusatorily, “Do you schedule in your shagging sessions with him?” Kat had sufficiently cornered into revealing Darcy’s true colors. Of course, there was a price to pay for coaxing that nugget out of her, but Kat couldn’t afford to lose her ground.

There was a shudder and gasp that rang through the crowd, as the shudders and constant strobe of cameras increased. Kat anticipated Darcy would bring that up, and the question stung. Instantly, Kat felt the impact on her career and her relationship, nothing would be the same.

Tom, against his natural instinct and tendency, stood still, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from defending Kat. This was her fight, her forte, her career. He had to let her get on with dealing with Darcy for his reputation. Depleting his reserves in patience and his chivalrous nature, Tom did not flinch at Darcy’s accusation. He was about to come to Kat’s rescue and step forward, when Kat’s hand hanging at her side splayed in the universal stop sign.

This whole situation and scene was torture for Tom, Kat knew that. She could feel the tension, rage and general unease rolling off him from his mere silence. Without blinking, Kat hollowly laughed, “Forgive me, I thought you were reconciling with him. Did I misunderstand what you intimated not five minutes ago?”

Darcy turned as red as her lipstick, realizing that the other woman had bested her. She hadn’t expected to see Tom or Kat at this event, and she felt terribly exposed. She’d been searching to ride on the Hiddleston name for a while by manipulating the press. The damn assistant had thwarted her efforts in working with him and reconciling with him, so she had worked another angle. Keeping her name in the pages and attached to his would only serve to help her ambitions.

Kat pushed a little further for clarification. “Just to confirm, you are not now nor will you be working with Mr. Hiddleston and you are not seeing one another. Am I correct?”

Throwing all caution to the proverbial wind, Darcy closed the gap between herself and Kat, garnering a new round of flashes from the cameras. The crowd around them, including Tom stepped in to protect Kat should she need shielding from the other woman. Through clenched teeth and seething anger, Darcy spit out, “You’re a trollop, a right ruddy whore.”

With that final insult, Darcy exited with reporters hot on her trail for an exclusive interview of shame. Several others descended upon Tom and Kat desperate for a statement for their gossip columns. Kat gave Tom a stern look not to say anything at all before announcing, “I want to reiterate that Darcy Lancaster-Hastings requested a meeting with Tom Hiddleston, but due to his prior commitments, he couldn’t grant her.” Kat had to appear impartial, not that that woman deserved an out, but Tom would look better for it. “As most of you know, he will be working on Only Lovers Left Alive quickly followed by the Avengers and Thor sequel.”

She had to do something to get the spotlight off his possible discretion with her. Focusing the press on the movies Tom was about to start filming was the easiest. The stray questions came regarding the nature of their relationship, which in turn both ignored, as they made their way into the theatre. The drop in adrenaline nearly took Kat off her feet, once she was out of the watchful eyes of cameras and paparazzi.

 The trio had only just arrived, and the evening felt infinitely long. Kat allowed herself to disconnect for the rest of the night. She watched the show with Tom on her right side and Holly to her left, but never actually saw anything. She was too drained to absorb anything more. Tom noticed her distance, but didn’t know the reason behind her behavior. She did well; she’d cleared him of association with Darcy, she’d even given some credit back to Darcy (although she didn’t deserve), and had brushed off any suspicion off of them as a couple.

There was a sense of calm and relaxation that came with Darcy’s public shaming. Kat only saw the full implications of what that meant going forward. Nothing was ever going to be the same, and she was sad for the loss of the familiarity. To her, in that moment, the future felt bleak.

Tom, to his credit, attempted to pull Kat from her introspection. During the performance of the musical, his pinky finger sought and found hers under the folds of her dress. He held her finger for a few minutes before she withdrew from him. At the reception, after Kat had seen Holly to her hired car, Tom offered her a flute of wine to try to mellow her. With no eyes on them, he took her hand squeezed it gently and rubbed the skin of her wrist under the table. She smiled for him, but that gesture never quite reached her eyes.

The two left the reception early, Kat feigning a headache and Tom expressing the wish to see her home safely. Tom instructed the chauffeured car to Kat’s address and tipped the driver handsomely for discretion and avoiding the photo hogs. As they climbed the stairs, Tom took her hand, needing to feel some closeness with her. She appeared to relax and return to him. He told her, “You did amazingly well handling Darcy, darling. I’m immensely proud, on a personal and professional level.”

Kat confessed, “She was a bitch!”

They laughed together, taking the last step to her floor. He nodded. “I will grant you that conclusion.”

Kat pushed the door open with a shove after unlocking the triple lock. “Are you seeing me home or are you coming in?”

The hint of double meaning was not beyond Tom. Before a beat could pass between them, his lips were on hers in a frantic kiss. Using his entire being, he bodily moved her inside the hallway of her flat, closing the door with his foot. They were plunged into darkness, heightening the awareness of each other’s feel, taste, smell and sound.

Guiding her backwards through the small space, he dipped his tongue into the depths of her mouth, exploring, tasting. His hands roamed to her back, slipping the zipper undone. He ghosted his fingers along her spine, eliciting a shiver of arousal. Kat bit at his lower lip softly, reaching for his belt.

Fumbling with material and falling into her bedroom, the couple landed in a heap on her bed with a fantastic groan from each of them. Urgently, Kat whispered, “I need you, baby. I need you inside me.”

There was something more than yearning, more than wanting, and a hint of sorrow. Tom shifted slightly, widening her legs with his and seating his stiff crotch against her. She sighed heavily into his mouth as he captured her in a maddening meld. His body pinned hers to the mattress, making her feel safe and ever so wanted. Kat clutched at his back urgently, their bodies pressed together so perfectly.

Tom worked his suit jacket off his broad shoulders as Kat nipped at the long smooth column of his neck, his body never leaving hers. She bit down on a spot just above his collarbone savagely, trying to turn his attention back to her lips. He groaned, his voice low and deep, “God, what are you doing to me?”

Kat clung to him, leading his mouth to hers in another desperately hungry kiss. She was all tongue, lips and teeth, her hands gripping his head to hers. Tom tried working the buttons of his dress shirt, but soon gave up and rippled the material from his body. His girl was not allowing him to undress properly. He carefully worked her evening dress off, having the zipper undone made it easier to slip it off. His elegantly long fingers skimmed down the length of her body, she nearly panted beneath him.

Tom buried his face between her lace covered breasts, and licked her. She wove her fingers into his hair, her fingernails grazing his scalp. His hands snaked up her sides and covered her breasts. Her nipples already firmed from the height of her desire and grazed his palms beneath the lace. His hands massaged the soft, full flesh, laying a bite on each mound. Breathlessly, she commanded, “Take it off. I need to feel you.”

There was a darker meaning in her tone that was more than sexual. He snuck a hand under her back to unhook her bra and remove it from her body. With renewed vigor, he covered one peak with an open mouthed kiss, his teeth nibbling gently on her nipple. She cried out with incredible desire. He abandoned one breast for the other to give the same attention. The damp nipple felt extremely exposed in the absence of his mouth.

To spurn him on, she reached between them to run her hand along his turgid length, still buried beneath layers of clothing. She whimpered, wanting, needing to be closer. A growl rolled up and ripped from him when she caressed his erection. His urgency increased to a maddening height. He reached behind him, gathering handfuls of cotton material, and pulled his undershirt off quickly.

The heated skin of his torso blanketed hers, and she was nearly insane with lust. His lips met with the sensual slope of her neck to her shoulder. Mirroring her earlier mark on his neck, he bit her. His fingers teased along her lace covered center, feeling her heated wetness. She was more than prepared to receive him. As he teased, a never-ending litany of swearing to some all-powerful deity poured from her lips.

Tom made quick work of removing her panties, leaving her completely naked, before relieving himself of his dress pants and boxer-briefs. Covering her body once more with his, their eyes met and locked. He couldn’t read her expression, but she looked hauntingly beautiful. There was an indication of sadness or unease, he couldn’t tell. Their slight hiatus from lovemaking could account for it, he wasn’t sure. He kissed her passionately before looking into her eyes again.

As they gazed into each other’s eyes, Tom positioned himself at her entrance. Kat propped her feet on the bed, opening up to him as much as possible. He pushed in smoothly, slowly, savoring every inch of her warm, wet depths as she took him in. They sighed audibly together as he pushed in to the hilt and paused, her walls rippled around him and he twitched within her.

His hands found hers and interlaced fingers, his lips sweetly kissed hers, once, twice, three times. And finally he moved, deliciously slow and sensuously, deliberately. She grasped his hands, the pleasure enveloping both of them. Tom made love to her like he never had before, desperately trying to prove he loved her, he wanted her, he needed her, and he couldn’t live without her.

He nearly pulled out of her body, but filled her again before he did. It was slow, tender, and gentle. They whispered words of love to each other. Connecting with her emotionally more important than pleasure. Their eyes locked together as they made love. Tom kissed her randomly, to taste her, further proving his heart. Eventually, he increased the speed of his hips meeting hers, and Kat lifted hers to climb with him.

Their hands freed from each other, he propped himself up to change the angle of his thrusts into her. She clawed at his back, landing on his ass, to pull him into her. She wrapped one leg around his waist, giving him control. The sounds from them primal, raw and full of emotion.

Tom knew her body well enough to know when she was close, and he knew just how to get her there. He pressed for longer durations into her, feeling her body give, her walls trying to pull him deeper into her. She bit her lower lip just before she cried out his name, her orgasm washing over her in waves. Her body shuddered, and tightened around his length. He shoved his hips into her unevenly, before collapsing into her, releasing deep within her womb.

Wrapping her arms around his shoulders, Kat held him to her, tears filling her eyes. She was very well aware of what she had to do, but that didn’t make it any easier to accomplish. She couldn’t cry, she wouldn’t. As they returned to themselves, his softened length slipped from her body, and he rolled off of her. He pulled her deeply into his embrace, whispering once more, “Katherine, I love you so much.” After a few minutes, he drifted off to sleep.

When Kat was sure he was asleep, she carefully withdrew from her bed, careful not to disturb him. She dressed in panties and a long t-shirt and sat in her living room, staring out the window, lost in her thoughts. She’s not sure how long she sat there, but the room was still dark when she heard him stir in her bedroom. Tom woke to an empty bed, and this somehow didn’t surprise him. He climbed out of the bed, slid back into his boxer-briefs to find his woman. He didn’t want to face this, but he knew that it was putting off the inevitable.

Tom found her curled up on the couch in her living room. He sighed audibly. “You’re about to break my heart.” It was a statement more than a question, and the emotion threatened his voice from being heard at all.


	20. Chapter 20

Tom found her curled up on the couch in her living room. He sighed audibly. “You’re about to break my heart.” It was a statement more than a question, and the emotion threatened his voice from being heard at all.

Kat looked into his sad blue eyes, suddenly feeling the weight of the world on her shoulders again. They were in her living room once more at a crossroads in their relationship. He understood where she was, the signs had been there all evening, he’d felt the shift after Darcy had stormed off. He tried desperately during the course of the evening to get her back, but Kat shut him out similar to all those months ago when he rejected her. That wall was back in place and he couldn’t get through to her.

She unfolded herself from the couch and stood facing him. “We can’t see each other anymore, Tom. You know that as much as I do.”

“Katherine,” he always used her full name when he needed to convey importance. “Don’t do this. We can figure this out together. We are stronger together.”

Kat shook her head sadly, trying to avoid his eyes but failing. “I may have shown up Darcy tonight, but she has probably cost my job, my entire career actually. I’m a liability- sleeping with the client. The agency is going to find out about this, it’s inevitable. I’ll be suspended, an investigation will be done and I’ll be found guilty, because let’s face it, I am. They’ll fire me, and I won’t be employable with another agency.”

“So you end things with me? What will you do?” Kat shrugged. She honestly didn’t know. She never learned another trade, but she could try to get another job. “Let me hire you as my personal assistant outside the agency.”

“Then I’m no better than a kept woman. Our relationship, as much as I love you, is suspect as it stands with you paying me through the agency. If you pay me directly that’s even worse. I couldn’t love you the way I want to, and that kills me. You know I can’t stay in England without a work visa or a sponsor. I couldn’t afford to live here on what I have saved. We’ve only been together a couple of months, in our own little bubble, and that’s an incredible commitment so early in our relationship. What happens if we break up? I’d be no better off than I am now. I have to try to protect myself.”

“We can make it work. I can’t lose you now.” Tom fought, knowing somehow that no matter what he said or how he pleaded, Kat had made up her mind. She’d worked through the scenarios in her head, and found her way of dealing with the problem.

Logically, she informed him, “The agency will find you someone else, Tom.”

Irritated and upset, Tom exclaimed, “Damn the job! I can’t lose you, Katherine! You are not your bloody CV!”

“Then who am I? What will I do? I have to try to manage this whole Darcy situation and the impact it has had on my career in my way. If I resign from the agency, I may be able to find something else. I’m afraid my reputation is irreparably scarred, by the mere mention that we were involved and will naturally put me in the risk category. I need to minimize the damage to me professionally.”

“Why are you doing this?” He was beyond the point of trying to reason with her.

“I’m not doing anything differently than you would do if this was your career.”

He ran his hands through his hair, knowing that no matter what he said to appeal to her as her lover, the professional in her already decided. She had shut down, walled off her heart and cut him off. He closed the distance between them and cupped her face between his elegant hands. He kissed her softly, sweetly, and leaned his forehead on hers. Tears filled his eyes and his voice. “I don’t understand why we have to be over, but if you need it… As much as it shatters my heart, and because you think you need it… oh, God, I can’t say it. Just know that I love you and you have broken my heart completely and utterly.”

Somehow, in some way he left her in her flat, not sure how or why, hoping he could figure a way to convince her to change her mind. When she heard the door close behind him, she collapsed on the couch and didn’t move for 36 hours. She lost her career, her man and her home. She packed up what little she had of her flat and booked her plane ticket for New York for Tuesday. She drafted a letter of resignation and emailed it to the agency first thing Monday morning. Her life had imploded, and she couldn’t stop the pain of destruction.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

“How many birds you shagging, mate?” One of Tom’s closest friends, Ian’s colorful greeting sounded in his ear. Tom was trying to manage his hurt over his breakup with Kat with a run early Monday morning when his mobile chimed. He hadn’t come up with a way to win her back, and he knew his time was drawing short.

“At present, none.”

“That was quite a display on the telly. I wasn’t truly listening, as I prefer my cat fights with a little more biting and clawing.”

Tom rolled his eyes. “Charming, to be sure.”

“How you holding up, man? Did Darcy or Kat bust your balls?” Ian always had a way with putting things into perspective, whether Tom sought it or not.

Scoffing audibly, Tom remarked, “They both have, in their own unique way. I’m arse over tit in every bloody way. It’s a clusterfuck.”

“Talk to me, mate,” Ian suggested. Tom sat down on a bench overlooking the Thames River, relating his situation into his cell phone. Ian was sympathetic in a way that only he could be, knowing his friend was stuck in his head. The long and short of Tom’s tale was his e-fiancée had forced his girlfriend assistant out of his life. Ian could tell that his friend was out of options, and out of his mind with desperation to hold on to the woman that had come to mean so much to him.

Ian said, “I have a simple solution and complicated one.”

“Simple first, for the love of God,” Tom pleaded.

“You’re a handsome man, find a new bird.”

“I’m in love with only one. I can’t ignore my monogamous nature,” Tom admitted, stroking the side of his neck. “So, come on, complicated then.”

Without revealing any details, Ian commanded, “Meet me at my office in two hours, and bring your girl.”

Tom asked, “She shut me out, man. I’ll have a devil of a time trying to convince her to go anywhere with me or where I’ll be. What the hell do you have in mind?”

“Nope. I’m not going to get you into trouble with your girl. Just get her there.”

* * * * * * *

Convincing Kat to meet him and Ian was a far more difficult task than Tom could’ve ever thought. Kat was nothing but stubborn, once she dug her heels in, she was immobile. He had to swear ten different ways that he wasn’t using the opportunity to convince her to stay or reconsider their breakup. Her resolve was weak, finding the will to breathe difficult without him in her life. She ended things with him because her life was turned upside down, and she had no idea where to go. The easiest choice would be to choose him, let him shelter her and keep her.  She couldn’t see any way for them to be together if she wanted to find her own self-worth and be the independent woman she always thought she was. She could if she got on a plane in less than 24 hours, putting more than 3000 miles between them.

Kat didn’t recognize the address that Tom had given her, only knew it was near London Bridge. Located on the 5th floor of a high rise building on St. Thomas Street, Kat walked into a reception area. Tom was already there, pacing the hallway waiting for her. He showed her into an office off the corridor to the right. Tom introduced Ian and Kat, although they had met briefly at one of the West End events previously. Tom was the only one of the three to remember that they had previously met at the London premiere of War Horse, towards the beginning of Kat and Tom’s working relationship.

Ian Harrison as luck would have it was launching a new production company in London, specializing in West End theatre productions. He was mounting his first production in a few months’ time. He required someone to field calls, emails and generally prioritize for him. Once the production opened, he was hoping to keep his hire to run the production office. An assistant of sorts, but much more in depth than Kat was used to.

Ian said, “I saw how you handled that shambles with that cow, Darcy.” Kat involuntarily flinched at the mention of the name. That bitch had cost her everything she held dear. “Impressed that you held your own. I know now after chatting with Tom, that you were a lot more invested emotionally than you ever let on.” Kat and Tom exchanged a look of longing quickly. “I need someone like you for my company. It’ll utilize your skills as a personal assistant, but it’ll be so much more.”

Ian went on to explain the day to day and the overall expectation he had for her. She qualified to be the head of publicity, after seeing her display of professionalism in the face of such adversity. Without so much as a question directed her way, Ian offered her the position beginning August 1st.

Kat never expected something so great could come from something so sordid. She asked quietly, “The fraternization doesn’t bother you?”

Ian laughed out loud, “I wouldn’t care if you were sleeping with all of England. I’d be right pissed if I were the only one left out.”

Tom shot him a look that might kill and warned, “Ian. Civility please.”

Ian brushed him off. “Simmer down, lover boy. Ms. Temple, the only thing I care is that you handle my company with the same professionalism that you did with the cow. I will secure your work visa, and I actually own real estate in London if you need a flat to rent. Will you accept the position?”

The starting date wasn’t ideal, as she’d be a month without income, but if she were frugal she could probably swing it. She couldn’t believe her luck, and that her showdown with Darcy was her job interview. When she realized that she wasn’t losing everything, she wanted Tom back. Setting him free made sense when she was doomed to be unemployed and living back in the states. Her heart raced knowing that she could be with Tom if he still wanted her after the way she had treated him. They would both be in England.

* * * * * * * * * *

Over lunch at an Italian restaurant, Ian formally offered her the position with a contract all drawn up. Kat was vindicated, had an exciting new job, Darcy was publically shamed and she was free to follow her heart if she chose. Having found her inner strength with the slight encouragement from Tom had set her free. The inner euphoria of nerves, adrenaline and pride in herself culminated in a weightlessness that she had never experienced before. With her new self-confidence, there was a shift of affection between her and Tom. He was beyond impressed with how she had handled her interview/conversation with Ian, and he was audaciously boastful internally that she had no reason or complication to be with him. She was astonishingly gorgeous, and glowed with an inner peace.

Upon arriving at the restaurant, Kat excused herself to the toilets. She couldn’t explain why, but she removed her panties and stuffed them in her handbag. A sense of freedom and reckless abandon accompanied Kat’s triumph of her public admonishment of Darcy and newly acquired job that she earned due to her public display. The stress of Darcy’s constant torment for the past week and the knowledge of having to live without Tom because of it was relieved instantly; Kat had put her in her place once and for all by publicly embarrassing the woman at the same time. For Kat, she wanted to share her high spirits with Tom in every way she knew how, and that included rediscovering their physical compatibility.

Returning to her seat beside him at the table, Tom asked Kat, “You alright, love?” She didn’t know how else to communicate to him without announcing it at the table in front of her new boss that she wanted him back and she would stop at nothing to get him back. She could stay in the country, she had secured a job aside from him, and there was nothing to keep them apart.

Enthusiastically she nodded before slyly opening her handbag for him to review the contents. Flirtingly, she informed him quietly while Ian was arguing with the waitress over choice of wine, “I have a gift for you.” He snagged the white garment she had stashed inside and tucked them into his pants pocket, winking to show his appreciation and acceptance of what she was offering. Inexplicably Kat’s victory in landing a job and her intimate present had granted the couple permission to acknowledge and express their feelings for one another, renewing the hidden passion beneath the surface that had been lurking since Kat agreed to give Tom another chance. Their lovemaking from a few nights before had been bitter-sweet for both of them, Tom trying to hold onto her and Kat kissing him goodbye.

Tom teased her inner thigh with fingertips, igniting a blistering heat within her. He alternated between gentle kneading, to ghosting touches, to tender pinches, to grazing knuckles. Kat had a difficult time sitting still for the duration of the meal, her skin alive with desire. Thankfully she didn’t see a coat closet in the immediate vicinity, she might have jumped him in it if the opportunity had presented itself.

The uncontrollable arousal strumming through her veins settled in her belly and caused an aching void within her that only Tom could fill. She wanted him, the intensity born of the near demise of their relationship, denied sexual tension and the freedom she finally achieved. Kat reached over under the table while she was pretending to listen to one of Ian’s brash monologues and circled Tom’s knee with her fingertip, sending him nearly out of his seat. He was in tune with the change in status between them.

After lunch, as they were making their way out of the restaurant to the share another drink at a bar nearby, Tom was following Kat out. His singular thought was how fantastic her ass looked beneath her open back summer dress with the knowledge that there was no barrier between the fabric and her skin. He pulled her rear to him as his body responded to the mental image. He let her feel what effect she had on him, and dipped his head to kiss her cheek. He whispered lustfully, “I can’t wait to get you home and in my bed.”

In response, inconspicuously, Kat reached behind her between their bodies and gently squeezed his growing length. Luckily the restaurant was mostly empty in the last afternoon lunch. His growl was lost in the chatter, the clanking of utensils against plates, and the general shuffling of feet.

While Tom shared a conversation with Ian, Kat claimed her spot beside Tom as they stood at the high wooden bar. He kept his hand firmly in Kat’s, his sensual torment constant. His thumb caressed the inside of her wrist in indiscernible patterns, awakening her skin in arousal once more. She didn’t know how he did it, thoroughly engaged in conversation with Ian as he drove her mad with desire.

As the afternoon wore on and their frustration to be alone increased, their hand gestures graduated from casual caresses to distinct imitations of what they would be doing if they were allowed privacy. Kat fisted two of his fingers and pumped them as she would have if she had his erection in her palm as he stumbled through yet another story from his days on the Avengers shoot. He poked her palm suggestively with two fingers repeatedly, to mirror what he would be doing later between her legs.

With her skin exposed wearing the backless dress, Tom kept running his finger down her spine when they were briefly alone just to make her shiver. The opening gaped all the way down to the small of her back, and he teased the skin at the tip of the V at her tailbone. In between another round of drinks that Ian collected, Kat whispered in his ear, “We need to leave so you can make me scream.”

“You’re a wicked woman with that suggestion, Katherine.”

“When I’m given the opportunity, my love.” He groaned audibly and kissed the top of her head, tucking her under his arm. With nobody watching, she reached down and pinched his tight rear. He watched as she drained the last of her wine and flicked her tongue along the rim seductively, her eyes meeting his.

Tom confided, “I would very much like to bow out now. Would you be a doll and come down with a headache suddenly? I need to get you naked before the rest of me turns blue.”

Conspiratorially, Kat suggested finding a restroom or coat closet to see to the immediacy of their teasing. Tom considered her suggestion briefly, but shook his head. “Darling, you asked me to make you scream and I plan on making good on that request.” He leaned down to whisper in her ear, “Over and over and over again.”

She gasped as her knees wobbled in anticipation. She grabbed his arm for support and feigned lightheadedness. “I’m suddenly not feeling so well. Let me make my excuses with Ian.”

“That’s my girl.”

Ian agreed to return back to his office, leaving Kat and Tom to renew their relationship. Outside the restaurant after Ian had hailed a car, Tom landed a kiss on Kat’s lips in front of what felt like all of London. The sense of freedom that she had never known being Tom’s secret lover was no longer an obstacle and they could be together. 

Within ten minutes, the couple were in the back of the black taxi, mouths fused together hungrily. The merciless teasing all afternoon frustrating the hell out of each other, desperate for the most intimate contact. Before Kat knew how he’d gotten his hand so far up her leg, he was close to touching her folds. She stopped him, speaking his full name into his mouth. She was grasping to last bit of decorum she had, considering the driver.

Tom tipped the man handsomely for getting them to his flat within fifteen minutes. The elevator ride up three floors was torturously long. Tom pressed her up against the wall, kissing her senseless, tongues dueling for dominance, his erection pressed at her middle. Kat frantically clawed at his belt, needing to touch him. Tom pulled at the straps of her dress, untying the bows to get her naked that much quicker.

When the elevator arrived at his floor, they stumbled out of the car towards his flat. Kat located the keys to his door in his pocket with some difficulty, and turned away from him. The front of her dress fell as Tom had untied both straps in the elevator, his hands covering her breasts. The steady stream of all the sexy and dirty actions Tom planned to do to her spilling from his mouth. Kat clumsily grappled with the key at the door, her concentration on Tom’s hands squeezing and teasing her nipples, his teeth on her earlobe, his hips pressed against her ass. Her head lulled back to kiss him passionately.

The door finally gave way, and the lovers fell through the door, her dress pooling at their feet. Tom kicked the door closed with his foot, spinning Kat towards him. His body slammed her into the wall right next to the door, hauling her naked form into his arms, her legs wrapping around his waist. Together they freed his straining length just enough out of the confines of his pants and boxers. In one swift motion, he pushed into her quickly. The perfect storm of heightened hormones and how his hips hit her sweet spot in an instant caused an orgasm to rack her body beautifully. Her muscles rippled around him as she groaned with the pleasure of release.

Tom waited to move again for her to regain her wits, keeping her pressed between his body and the wall. He was pleasantly surprised that she managed to orgasm so quickly. As she regained her breath, he complimented her, “Well done, my love.”

Kat buried her face in his neck, embarrassed that her body gave her away so soon. Nervously she giggled, “I can’t believe that happened.”

“Don’t be bashful, darling. That was beautiful. I think you’ve challenged me. Let’s see if can make you orgasm again before I do.”

Kat bit his neck in response and encouragement. Tom grunted before pulling his hips back, nearly pulling all the way out of her body, and roughly slamming back into her. Kat vocalized her pleasure, urging his punishing pace. The heels of her feet dug into his ass, his hands gripped her ass almost painfully. He set a brutal, animalistic pace. The playful baiting from earlier had turned desperate and frantic, Tom’s obscenities breathed into her ear. The sex was dirty and quick and hot. Tom slammed into her over and over again, rotating his hips.

The sheer force of his thrusts hit her clit, increasing her pleasure and raising her up to euphoria once more. His push and pull became erratic, and he pleaded with her to come again. She clawed at his hair and back, anything to get purchase as she drowned in pleasure. Suddenly she screamed out as he ripped another orgasm from her body. Drenched in sweat from the effort and the clothes he still wore, Tom thrust into her clenching body three more times before pouring himself into her.

As they recovered, Tom lowered her to the floor again though she wasn’t sure she could stand on her own. Keeping the wall at her back for support, she pulled him in for a proper kiss, working his t-shirt up his body. “I would like to get you naked,” she announced

“There was no time for that. Do you know how tedious that can be when you are so anxious?”

She was so beautiful in her concentration at her task of undressing him. “Anxious? Is that what we’re calling it?” She was trying to work his black jeans off his wiry legs.

“Look at me, darling.” Kat stopped in her task, as her eyes met his surprised that he requested anything. In all seriousness, he told her, “I love you powerfully. I’m so proud of how you handled the conversation with brash Ian with poise and confidence and class. I’m so fortunate that you’ve chosen me to love, I’m humbled and I will strive to be the man that you deserve to have.”

She placed her fingers over his lips, unsure she could keep from bursting into tears. He kissed her fingertips as she whispered, “I love you more than you will ever know. I’m lucky to have you. I’m so sorry for the other night.”

He shook his head, stepping out of his pants. “You were scared, baby. I understand the torment of losing a job you love. I just wished you had talked to me.”

She caressed his cheek gently. “There wasn’t the time. I had remove all I felt for you from the business side of it. You and your career were my priorities.”

He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her to him. “You are mine. Thank you for sacrificing so much for me.”

“The sacrifice wasn’t just my job, my love. I did it because I love you so much and I didn’t see any other way of not getting you all tangled in the mess of that woman. I would do it again.”

His heart nearly burst from his chest that he had earned such loyalty and devotion. He was overwhelmed that he had found her, his person, his heart, his home. He swept her up into his arms and carried her to the bedroom. Against her lips, he begged, “Stay with me.”

The End  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the notes that you've left along the way. This is how Tom and Katherine fell in love and managed to find their way into each other's lives. I have a few one shots that check into their lives together. I will upload them here if you're interested in how they progressed after their main story.


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